12/4 Xinmao Day Diary

I got up at noon today, ate instant noodles, and was watching the contents of keiyue on the computer, so I searched carefully for the news of the three mentors, strong women in art.

I didn't want to vote at first, and I don't think there is anything to ask. But then the French forwarded it to me again. I thought, I saw it twice, so I voted. Let's get to know each other by fate.

In the afternoon, I took a car to dance at the expo square. It happened that new jeans hype boy wanted to dance for a long time, and he was very excited when he heard the music.

Then I went in and learned the simple eight beats, idols are really hard to do. But that dance room was too stuffy and there were too many people.

Going to this place to dance will give you a deep feeling that it is too different from the temperament and energy of modern dance studios. It is too noisy and chaotic here.

The dancing women are also different. There are all kinds of shapes here, and their temperaments are very mixed. It would seem superficial to judge me only from appearance, but this is the most direct difference. There are few people in the modern dance room, but everyone gives themselves space and time to breathe. The teacher is also good. I spent 1.1 yuan to dance this dance, and then took the bus to the barber shop behind the community to wash and cut my hair, which cost 20 yuan. Although the money spent a day is very small, there will be a shabby smell, a smell that I have hated since I was a child. A smell I've longed to get rid of since adolescence.

But this is brought by my family, no matter how much money there is behind, I became an upstart, although I have no money later. This feeling of embarrassment is hard to get rid of completely, unless I leave this place and live alone for a while, which is what I hope.

I came back at night and continued to lick the keiyue application. I didn't expect it to take so long to fill out. Every question hits the soul. Complete exhaustion. Go out and eat fried chicken. My mother has stopped fighting recently and has gone back to the old way, the way of getting nothing done and enjoying herself. She watched short videos while eating. Sometimes, I even think that her arrogance to the outside world largely comes from her timidity, because she is afraid of change and always has delusions of persecution, so she simply does not communicate with the outside world. Of course, her character is not very interested in the outside world.

Then I edited the photobook and wanted to print it out and send it to the bookstore owner. I always feel that it is very embarrassing for her to prepare dinner for two people for free. I didn't think so much at first, and I didn't expect the French to be so stingy. Then my mother said that it can be printed as a postcard, yes, I am going to do this, and give it to people who watch my movie.

It was late at night, and I just submitted to a documentary film festival. Many times, this kind of delivery is a gamble. And your money and the heart that can be rejected again and again are capital, and there will be a day when you will pay back, but I don’t know when.