Perth Diary Day 437, Mom and Dad, why did you give birth to me?

When I was born, I was still under the family planning policy of the one-child policy. I was fined 6,500 yuan for my birth. In 1988, it should have been a lot of money. It should have been my parents’ salary for more than ten years.

My father did not agree with my birth, but my mother insisted on giving birth to me. Looking back on my current life, I am especially grateful to my parents for giving me this life. To experience the difficulties and obstacles of life, and the joy of growing up after overcoming difficulties, I began to enjoy The sense of meaning that your own life brings to the lives of others.

I feel happiness and joy from an ordinary life. I really want to ask my father what he thinks about my current life journey, but I think that I can’t get the affirmation from my father in all likelihood. I can't agree with the choice of my life now.

Because different lives form cognitive concepts in different lives, they already have different understandings of happiness, and have different original intentions for the purpose of giving birth to another life.

I would like to ask all parents, if your child is living a happy life, but he is far away, would you be happy for him, and would you be gratified for everything you have done for your child?

I recently had a diving student who was hesitant to bring his children to Australia and into the living environment here, but he himself has not integrated into the society here. He is worried that his children will not be willing to grow up in the environment here. Returning to the country to develop again, and if he finally returns to the country, it will not be the result he wants to see. He hopes that his children will live by his side.

Based on my understanding of the parents around me in China, and my understanding of the friends who are already parents around me, it will be the thinking of most people.

I no longer want to know the reason why my parents gave birth to me. From the communication with my mother now, I already know the answer, but I really want to ask the vast majority of parents.

If your children can feel happy far away in the sky, as a parent, shouldn't you be happy for them?

If they are unhappy living by your side, is that what you want? If this is your original intention to have children, why did you choose to have children?

The children will grow into another independent individual with their own unique ideas, their own unique sources of joy, anger, sorrow, and joy, and a completely different environment in which you live and a completely different life growth environment.

It is an existence beyond your control. You want to control your children’s thoughts. Apart from bringing troubles and burdens to your life, they have no other benefits. Their achievements in childhood growth do not represent your success in life. It is the child's own hard work and talent, and a grade is not enough to tell whether the child's growth is healthy and happy.

The environment is harsh, and the pension security that the social system cannot bring you cannot be compensated by your children. Although the environment is harsh, if your life is in the right direction and you work hard enough, you can work hard for yourself and accumulate capital for retirement. Then you should ask yourself how to control your life, and you should not pass this burden on to your children.

If children are able to take care of themselves for the rest of their lives, it is because they have educated themselves well, but the mentality of trying to keep children by their side and wanting to provide for themselves, even for a moment, will put heavy quotation marks on the so-called filial piety.

Many moral requirements should not be restrained and oppressed by the general environment, but should be the sublimation of the individual's own ideological realm. The former will only fall heavily from the commanding heights of morality back to reality.

As a child, the greatest filial piety I can think of is that I can give my parents who have never experienced freedom a chance to embrace a free life. This is the most valuable reward I can do within the scope of my cognition. If My parents' cognition is unacceptable, and that can't stop me from working hard for my own happy life.

My father is gone, and I no longer have the opportunity to have a long conversation with my father about our understanding of life. My mother is still alive, but my mother cannot understand my pursuit of a free and happy life, and I am powerless to change her perception.

But I know that I have worked hard to rewrite the direction of my family's gene tree. This is the best effort I can make for my children. I try my best to let my parents' genes take root in a free world and thrive in a healthy environment.

Maybe, even if my father is alive, he can't understand my understanding of happiness, because even if my mother is alive, it seems to be living in a completely different world from me, but everyone is fighting for their own life and their own cognition. There is no wrong direction.

As a parent, I think it is the greatest pride of being a parent to be able to support the children to pursue their own dreams, to support another life in their own cultivation, but to be able to spread their wings and pursue their own happiness. Don't be proud of it, and it shouldn't be an excuse for your children not to spread their wings, because it's right to do so.

So, why do you have children? If your original intention of having children is wrong, if the cause of planting is wrong, how can you blame the harm that this fruit brings to you.

If the cause of planting is correct, there is no need to fear that the fruit will bloom in the wrong direction.

If you don't have a strong heart ready to be a parent, to meet the tempering that cultivating an independent living body may bring to you, it is best to think clearly about how you should spend your life.

If you have already started to pay the price for the immature thoughts of nurturing children in the past, you should still adjust your life direction and try hard to get everything in your life back on the right track. Knowing to pay the price, the appearance of children only makes the price even heavier.

The growth of different individuals belongs to different subjects. Each person can only control his own thoughts and actions in life. Any desire to control beyond his own subjects will only make you more distressed.

Father and mother, I hope you can feel happy because of my happy life . If you can’t feel happy because of it, and can’t become a resistance to my pursuit of my own happy life, I won’t pay for your cognition with my life , because I have to live for myself.

But no matter where I am, I will be proud that your blood flows in my body and that I have received your education.

My mother - the scars in the bottom of my heart

my father

father, five year anniversary

Perth Diary 141st: In the Seven Years of My Father's Death