Middle-aged jobless_The shackles that cannot be broken free

The last few months have been quite busy, because I have taken up a job with an agency, work has taken up every day, 8 hours of extra time, I have to continue online tutoring, and there is almost no rest.

But I, because I entered the social crowd, began to be involved in the vortex of the abyss, unable to extricate myself. This institution seemed to be on a magic spell, and there was a force that made people go crazy and fight and care about each other.

I thought I had seen it through, I came here just to use some of my previous experience to earn a small income for living and for cats to eat meat. I'm getting old, and I know a lot of things are in vain and meaningless, and money is the most tangible benefit. But this terrifying labyrinth is ready to devour every living being as soon as you step through the entrance.

And my point was finally stepped on, it may be that I finally stepped on the trap carefully prepared for me by this place. If I step in, I may never be reborn.

I would like to shamelessly say that I am an above average and very smart person. This is not an absolutely good thing.

Above my average, in the vernacular of the capital of this society, it is education, experience, achievements, and success stories. This is a bigger scam in society, but fortunately everyone is a fan of the authorities, so under the premise of this fanaticism, universal values are full of meaning. Just the black words on the white paper of these resumes can tell the difference between closeness and distance, who is in which position, and this is often the case. So I have to feel that if it is not really "reasonable" advice, I am grateful for your patronage.

What is "justified"?

I divide it into subjective and objective.

There is nothing to say about subjective things. You like pink, and I think cats are cute, irrelevant, and unreasonable. There are all kinds of people, and there are millions of personal preferences, ideas, and feelings. This institution has brought me into the dark, but it can be a godsend to someone. If you want to add ink and ink to subjective matters, it must be the residents of the authoritative area. Einstein can laugh at light, Hawking can point fingers at scientific papers, Homan scoffs at the current development of physics, even as a physics professor at Harvard, I think it's not unreasonable. what are these? It is the academic classification under this social class. You can speak with confidence, and I am humbly supporting.

Objectively speaking, there is nothing to say. The color of the moon, there are 12 months in a year, and the facts are related, there will be a distinction between right and wrong.

My shackles stem from this.

The supervisor detained my report. It was not that the content was wrong or that the content was biased, but that he felt that the writing was not good.

What is bad text?

He said: Your writing is too colloquial, too literary, too academic, too difficult.

He said: Your subject is not defined, your verb is not explained, your object is not explained, others will not understand. Who are humans? who are we?

He said: You write too deep, too broad, too focused, too divergent. Too in-depth and focused, it is too difficult to understand, high school students can't understand! If it is too broad and too divergent, there will be no problem awareness, and no one will know what you are talking about!

Under his statement, the whole article will be revised.

I consulted many people for advice and read the text to friends of various groups. We are well aware that the problems mentioned by the supervisor are all crimes other than war, and they are not problems.

I was stared at by the abyss without knowing it, but I had to look straight at it. I am not a person who runs away. I used to be a coward and bully, and I am now, but I try not to run away, because if I turn around and run away, the mad dog will chase after me.

Then welcome to the circle of this struggle, where you can only keep arguing with each other without end.

At this point I was terrified, and I was about to become the self that I hated so much again, and I was about to break out of depression. I really hate it! I hate arguing with others, because the rules of the game are not on my side, and my own justice is not the justice of the world. I hate to take the effort to explain my ideas to others, everyone is an individual, please don't force me to follow you. I hate all that I am, what I look like, what I do, what I am. Because every drop of rain fell, I thought I deserved death.

But he is in charge and he has power.

And breaking free is a luxurious dream.

I think as I continue to do things in this institution, I cannot avoid this problem.

I know where my abilities lie, I don't need the sweet words that the white rabbit said to the caterpillar, because this is not Alice's tree hole. But creation (even the creation of words), for me, is myself. Whether the writing is good or bad, I can bear it in general, but I can't physically wear a coat that I don't agree with. If this coat must be worn, then I can be the queen's flamingo, and it will continue to function as a croquet stick.

Majority approval is the weapon and strength of this society. I need it very much, but I am not sure if there is a "chance" to have it.

But I don't want to fight anyone, I'm who I am, and you feel threatened, power affected, that's not my problem. Just to protect yourself requires strength and weapons. Before that, I was wearing handcuffs and shackles, like most people, waiting for the green light to move forward at the intersection.