Day 5 - My understanding and imagination of "self-actualization"

First of all, I would like to thank the Matters platform. I have gained a lot from sharing writing here, and I feel like I can realize my writing dream! After I published the last article about the spirit of the May Fourth Movement, more authors followed my blog. This is an encouragement and support for me. I also read the reports about Matters recently, and I also observed that the online community of Matters is very active, which makes me think that Matters is a very potential content sharing platform, and I also look forward to Matters doing better and better!

In isolation at home, I am making the most of this time to understand my deep needs, unconscious impulses, and various psychological confusions. I take care of myself, care for the self, through astrology, Jungian psychoanalysis, daily writing, meditation, walking, yoga, and cleaning.

I read astrology books this morning and carefully studied the influence and guidance of Pluto and Neptune in my chart. One of the most obvious messages is that I have a deep need in this life to understand the truth of life, to shape my worldview and personal philosophy, and to achieve my life goals. In order for me to learn this subject, God made me easily influenced by the people around me and fulfilled their expectations. This subject forced me to confront external influences. At this stage in my life, I am faced with how to recognize a purpose in life that comes from me, not from external universal values.

Because of the influence of education, I believe that people must contribute to society in order to truly realize and achieve themselves. The North Node in Libra and Pluto in the 7th house of Libra in my horoscope all point to learning to serve others and to have equal relationships with others. My Pluto-Sun conjunction means that my purpose in life is to align with a "socially relevant need". A few years ago, this message would have made me feel like a savior who had been beaten with chicken blood, with confidence and courage for the future.

Therefore, I chose to devote myself to the field of education, doing a job that is morally very honorable. Over time, there is a sense of self-deception, in order to maintain this divine light, I gradually become numb inside, like a dead plant. A few days ago, I finally decided to resign. Leaving this job gave me the energy to examine my values and purpose in life.

During this period of time, I was reflecting on how I viewed serving the society, put the spirit of humanity into practice, and practiced lofty spiritual values and ideas. At this moment, I believe that only by taking care of myself can I contribute meaningfully in the future.

In the past, in order to serve others, I neglected to take care of myself, so now I want to return to myself to make up for the lack of self-exploration and creativity in the process of my growth. I want to satisfy my desire to learn and develop my writing ability. My "self-actualization" at this stage of life can be called "self-education" self-education. I also hope to be able to connect with others through self-education.