birthday cake for fathers day

I don't know if this ability is a good thing? As for my memory, if I find a switch and decide to forget something, it can easily disappear from my mind. Like people who haven’t been in touch for a long time and have only met a few times (but they were very enthusiastic), I can almost completely forget a person’s appearance and the details of our past contacts within three or five years, no matter whether the memory is good or not. It's bad and I'll completely forget it.

I really don't remember much about the term "father", and even if I try to write down what he looks like in my memory, I struggle with my fading brain power and the ever-increasing, passing time. Like searching for some treasure buried in some long-sinking ship at sea.

One of them is "birthday". There is only one image left in my mind, a year before my father left home, he bought me a birthday cake and I sat contentedly eating it.

My sister and I don't have the habit of celebrating birthdays. There are three people in a family of four whose birthdays are around the Lunar New Year holidays and during the winter vacation. I am the only one who is in the heat of the summer. Relying on that day that belongs to my father, I have almost no memory of celebrating my birthday with my companions when I am not in school. We all have a habit of "don't like the focus of the whole occasion on ourselves", nor the social behavior of being embarrassed on a birthday, and the habit of cuddling in the corner of the group most of the time, so the "birthday" In addition to having their own rituals, most of them do not like to call the world with great fanfare or put the focus of the world on themselves in groups of three or five.

But in my memory, on my birthday before my father left home, I don't know if I had my birthday cake for Father's Day, or because of my birthday, I had Father's Day by the way? I feel like a privilege at home, only I have the right to "birthday".

After my father left home.

"Father's Day" is even more sedentary than Mother's Day. The word "Dad" takes its homonym to the day, constantly reminding that that day is the day of "the character who will never appear in the family again" . Just like Mother's Day, every advertisement and news section of Laosantai constantly broadcasts about the day on August 8, which should be grateful to my father, should be filial to my parents, and what should I do with my father? Or do something for your father? (Or all the Father's Day discounts these days.)

We do our best to smother all words about our father on days like this, and in those inescapable reminders, turn our heads away as if we never knew this man with half our genetic makeup once existed. , even with my birthday along with my father's holiday, if it can not be mentioned, it will not be mentioned, and if it can be forgotten, it will be forgotten.

Maybe it’s because my father wasn’t around and no one bought cakes, but I still maintain a certain expectation. Often before Father’s Day, I go to the bakery near my home to find a small enough flavor that I like, and order one in the name of Father’s Day. own birthday cake.

But in the case of the festival, the cakes on the festival promotion are all for the celebration of "family reunion", and each cake is terrifyingly large. I always bite the bullet and carry it home, skipping all the reminders on August 8th, and growing up the timidity of "that person" who needs to avoid the atmosphere that will condense when I mention it, and directly say, "This is me. birthday cake! It's cheaper to buy in advance." (Meaning: "It's not Father's Day, make no mistake.")

When I turned 18, I didn't know much about my classmates and I didn't have many friends. I didn't know what was wrong. I suddenly said to my mother, "Can I ask my classmates to come and eat cake at home?" Maybe it was influenced by the outside atmosphere, or It was a kind of ritual about "18 years old" that made me think of "finding someone to help me celebrate my birthday", but the result was not what I expected: "I don't have the habit of celebrating my birthday with others. That 's right!" I just don't go to work on my birthday, find a place I like, and spend that unassuming day in my own way, like the three words "Father's Day" , already after my father left home and died, no longer need to think about what to do on that day? (I don't have the habit of worshipping either.)

I also don't remember when my father was still around, would I send a text or make a call to let him hear my voice? Or when we meet once a month to collect living expenses from my father, do we spend that year's Father's Day and my birthday together on the first Sunday in August?

Not long after my father's death, my father's wife handed me a cup while sorting out her belongings. It was a white plastic cup with Snoopy's eyes, nose, and mouth, and if I remember correctly, it also had a top-hat-shaped lid. When my father's wife gave it to me, she told me, "Dad drinks from the cup you gave him."

When my father passed away, it had been 18 years since he left home and started a family again. I still can't remember what year I gave it to my father as a gift? Anyone who remembers said it was a Father's Day gift, and it seems like they got back my card with very young handwriting at the time?

My family is not on Mother's Day, nor on Father's Day, and all my family's birthdays.

It will be a long, long time before I can break free from the feeling of being unable to breathe and almost suffocating in the festivities of others on these "reunion" days. I would choose a happy and quiet way, spend my birthday in a coffee shop doing nothing, or stop buying any cakes that are discounted for Father's Day, only for those who have birthday discounts for birthdays Eat a good meal in the restaurant and continue to welcome the next age.

Maybe the "birthday cakes for Father's Day" that I bought back then were not just a birthday ceremony for my younger self, but also to comfort me after losing my father. No man would sit by and watch me eat the cakes he bought. lack!

PS Why after so long, I still couldn't help crying when I wrote the last paragraph? How wronged I was when I was a child, hahaha!

Picture: 20210924 Hold a Tea House, Canon EOSM50. Leo will take a picture when they see a lion.

if. father series