confused solution

"What's confusing you?" I said.

"I've been through everything, but I still don't have an answer," said Z, who had traveled the world solidly.

"Why does it have to be an answer? Do you think that having an answer will solve the problem?" I pressed.

"I don't have an answer in my heart, won't it make you feel confused?" Z was silent for a while, then asked indifferently.

"Yes, but it took me a lot of time to understand that confusion is also a state, and it is understandable that it is still a process of life. Just like we have to hit a bottleneck, hit a wall, to know that we are stuck. Confusion is also So, from this point of view, being confused is a good thing.”

"Sounds like this, do we have to be endlessly confused like this for the rest of our lives? Isn't this very painful?" Z seemed unable to accept such an answer.

"I understand that you don't want to be stuck in confusion all the time, because there must be a lot of struggle. When the confusion reaches a low point, we must return to the more essential things and experience every moment seriously. You can understand, things That’s how it is, it doesn’t make much difference whether you’re lost or not.”

"I don't quite understand. Can you give an example?" This explanation aroused Z's curiosity.

"You don't wonder why you have to breathe when you breathe. If you have to wonder about breathing, you may have coveted a close encounter with death for a long time. In life, we sleep, eat, dry our clothes, and do the dishes. In those seemingly pointless moments of everyday life, your cells are doing everything they can to die and regenerate step by step, but the brain is not.”

"What you're trying to say is that everything is caused by the brain?" Z asked.

“Although our perceptions can lead us beyond the dimension we are in, we are also bound by our five senses. When we suffer, whether we can face and detach will form a huge gap. The reason why souls can be in heaven or hell in one world Walk."

"In a nutshell, it means constantly talking to yourself and changing your mind?"

"More precisely, you have to keep checking, what are the blind spots of your thinking? Otherwise, your thoughts and beliefs may be biased. Get caught in 'is it my fault?', 'this must be OO's fault!' and so on. the binary distinction, but you have to find a grander objectivity.”

"Well... what about emotions? How should we view our emotions, even if like you said, we need to be aware that our emotions contain sadness, but when the time comes, even if I realize that I am sad, I will continue to fall into it. Ah. Anger too, I don't want to be angry sometimes."

"Emotions are a wake-up call, you can see it as the immune system of the mind, but everyone's system processes are different and cannot be generalized. Constantly staring at where emotions occur, where they come from, and you have a real understanding of them Afterwards, when it visits your heart again later, you don’t rush to blast it out, but you can really understand that it’s actually a part of you.”

"Although I still don't understand it very well, it sounds a bit negative to a certain extent? So we should give up the pursuit of controlling our emotions and let it be at the mercy of it? What is the difference between this and those mediocre people who let their passions control themselves? "

"What do you think mediocrity is? You still have such troubles in a life that is already complete in the eyes of the world. In my eyes, it is mediocre. Because even though many people have recognized your value and life, you are not As if dismissive."

"I'm not dismissive. I'm so grateful for the help of so many people and what I've been through. I just don't understand why I'm still not satisfied. I know in my heart that seeking peace may be the answer, But do I really just want peace? I don't always feel like that."

"Why are you so desperate for an answer?"

"...I don't know." Z said helplessly.

"I think it will be easier for me to have the answer. It's like a game where you already know where the end point is and what conditions are met, you can break the level."

"Maybe. But doesn't the fact that you don't have the answer in your heart make you feel scared? How do you know that all your efforts are not wasting effort, or even going in the opposite direction?"

"This is really difficult, so you need to increase your awareness of yourself to avoid your own life and walk into a dead end. As long as there is still time, you can start to find the answer at any time. The real fear is , it should be time. And you never know how much time you have left."

Z was silent and said nothing more.

Be confused, it's alright.