Diary is it enough?

November 10th.

Whenever I have pain and try to forget it, it's when my memory wanes. Sometimes I can't even remember what the person in front of me just said. When someone scolds me, I have no regrets at all: otherwise what do you want from me?

Receive a text message from mom

In view of the fact that I have been really decadent recently, like a wandering soul, I was scolded today, and I was also implyed that I was not prepared enough for class at night.

After class, I received a text message from my mother, except to say once again how irresponsible I am to myself. Later, she said that we really haven't gotten along well for more than 20 years. She felt that while I was going home to work, she felt very good to be together when we could be together. Thinking about it slowly now, she can only provide me as a safe haven now, but if it is too long, it will be difficult for me to return to work. If I want to think about it, I have to do it.

I cried again in the car, after all I said something ugly last time...

I said, "You couldn't accompany you before, at least now you don't have to ask so much."

There was also a time when I fell on a bike and broke my coffee, I would rather call my friends to take me to eat and drink, but not tell my family, because at that time I would rather believe that outsiders might love me more. It's just that after so many people talk about love, I haven't felt happiness because of it. Instead, my mood is prone to ups and downs, and often I can't stand it first and stop.

I know exactly why I lost all motivation, I just can't articulate it.

Every day, I keep flashing past memories in my mind, and peeping at people who no longer exist on my mobile phone. At the same time, he is very angry with himself, he is angry at himself lying at the bottom of the pit and can't get up, and he even wants to give up everything because of his rotten self. All by their own choice.

enough! But how to get out?

I'm like watching a bad movie, always chagrining at the position of why I pay for the crime. After the show, I was still obsessed and even wanted to reason about who made me waste my time! Or it was like staring at the little ditch that tripped me up, thinking it was a huge black hole.

Every day I have been thinking about how to let go, forcing myself to let go, GOOGLE all the ways to let go.

I never thought about it, I haven't accepted this in my heart yet...

He is gone for good!