When I live up to other people's expectations, what do I actually live up to?

It was many years ago: before graduating from college, I had passed the interview and got my first job effortlessly as a Chinese teacher at B Middle School. In any case, this is a legitimate occupation, but at that time, many teachers and friends would be surprised by my job, and they would ask many questions: "Why do you want to work in this school?" "Why don't you continue your studies?" "If If you want to teach, why not go to A Middle School?”

People's questions bothered me for a while. I obviously found a job faster than most of my classmates, and the salary is not low. Just because the school where I teach is not a famous school in their hearts, it seems that I have lived up to everyone's expectations. This trouble has lasted for many years. Teaching in B Middle School has been enjoyable from beginning to end. In addition to letting me know what the learning difficulties of grassroots children are like, I can also feel the pragmatism and flexibility of traditional teaching organizations. Teachers and friends have opinions on the school where I teach. Of course, there are historical reasons. I may be disappointed that I did not join the A Middle School, which serves the children of the powerful, but I have been doing my best in my teaching position. I met good students and good colleagues. If I didn't have the work experience in those years, I might not be able to cope with the challenges in different environments in the future.

However, I had an even more tragic experience of disappointing the teacher. It is said that I was admitted to a newly opened business organization, so I happily reported the current situation to a teacher I highly respected. Unexpectedly, I still lived up to his old man’s expectations. He asked me why I was working in such an organization, and I humbly Said that he wanted to study hard in a new working environment, but the teacher said at the time, "What can I learn in these places? If I want to learn, I will only learn badly? I will not learn well." Great psychological shadow. It took me many years to realize that the teacher admired students who were engaged in academic research or working in the cultural sector, and someone like me, who was professed for a living, really lived up to his expectations.

Although I have worked very hard and never gave up writing, in fact, at every stage, someone will come out and give me some advice or advice inadvertently. Someone wanted to "encourage" me to enter the literature prize, so they said to me before each competition: "You've never won a championship, so you really shouldn't stop participating." But I think readers just want to read interesting articles, whether from The Hand of the Champion, it doesn't matter at all! When I published a collection of short stories, some people said I should write longer works. When I wrote a book of more than 100,000 words, some people told me that the city still lacked 300,000 to 400,000-word literary masterpieces, as if it was my responsibility to fail these expectations. When I was young and arrogant, I did feel sad for the "gossip" of others, or worked hard. The result, of course, is never being able to meet the demands of others, and often feeling like they're not doing enough.

In the past, I really valued the opinions of teachers and friends, but later I found out that they were just talking casually without considering my actual situation at all, and they did not understand the situation and difficulties I faced when making decisions. , maybe it’s just that I can’t see it! Their expectations for the younger generation may be a traceable path to success: studying for a degree, teaching in a famous school, winning literary awards, writing works recognized by foreign literary critics, Once they got out of such a trajectory, they would have conditioned reflexes and couldn't help but point their fingers. Unfortunately, fate did not arrange these good things for me, and I could only slowly learn to accept my fate without complaining.

Once I figured it out, I regret not that I have suffered a lot of grievances, but that my teachers, teachers, and friends are not strong enough in empathy and vision.

In recent years, I have not easily disclosed my work situation to others. If I am not a close friend, I will not talk about the details of my life. First, I don’t want to listen to opinions and suggestions. Second, I try to avoid being compared. Of course, more importantly, I I don't care what other people think and think.

When I fail other people's expectations, it can also be because they have failed my trust and respect. I know that there must be good people around everyone, but who said that good people will never do bad things and speak bad words?