Such a summer when standing still and sweating

After entering the summer, the body and mind from hibernation to spring are awakened by the white light of the scorching sun. In the whole spring, except for the sudden job to make up for the income, I have been living a life without doing anything, such as cooking, eating, exercising, reading, watching movies or dramas, and those who do not suffer from insomnia but do not sleep well or get enough sleep. hours, every day.

The anxiety and depression that I have had in the past ten years in this time of spring and summer, and those indescribable feelings that often came out of my mind, like being put into a vacuum package and constantly being squeezed by air. , are put aside in such idle but busy days. Those who always want you to think positively or who constantly blame you for being too lazy have never been more difficult to understand than your inability to deal with these signals released from your body and mind. You have to take time to get used to it. Seasons, from the air, from the outside to the inside, have different changes. You have to spend a little more effort than others to adjust to the physical and mental changes brought about by the changes, so that you don’t always feel tense and often feel pulled and pulled. fractured state.

Maybe it's because it's a child born in summer, and I'm afraid that if I don't leave my mother's body soon, I won't be able to see the hot sun, so every year when I enter summer, the energy bar in the game is replenished with 100% energy, as long as I see it The sun shines even in the eyes , no matter how hot it is, no matter how hot it is, no matter if it goes out, it is always sweating, no matter if it gets wet when exercising, no matter how dry it is, it will always be like living in a tropical country like summer all day long.

My mother was always nagging me: "Why don't you wear long sleeves before going out?"

I also forgot what age I was last time, I feel that I am no longer young, I should give up sleeveless clothes and wear sleeved clothes well, so that I look like an adult (otherwise I often look like a dead child) Or you should get rid of the flip-flops on your feet and wear decent, branded, like-dressed shoes. But in summer, I can't wear any clothes that make my body hot, and I don't bother to think about "how to dress to be an adult". I still buy sleeveless clothes with whole drawers again and again. In the summer of 2019, it is normal to change two pieces in one day.

When asked by others, "Do you like shopping for clothes?" I always try to find reasons for myself: "No! I make clothes myself! It's normal to have more clothes." But in fact, I have a whole cabinet of colorful , Short-sleeved or sleeveless clothes with a youthful pattern, I can wear clothes that I can choose and go when I go out, but in fact, going out is nothing more than going home for dinner, going out for rehabilitation, exercising at night, or just shopping in markets and supermarkets. . (Who to wear it for? XD)

The epidemic has indeed made me more like a sunny otaku. I clearly love the scorching sun, but I just refuse to go out or go out. What are you going out for? It's terribly hot (although I love the sun.) What are you doing out there? There are people everywhere (although there are not many people in the epidemic), what are you doing when you go out? Exercise or grocery shopping. (The only places I hang out are the food and sports fields.)

When I was 27 or 18 years old, single-lens cameras were on the rise. First, I bought an entry-level camera, and then I spent a lot of money to buy a camera group of more than 100,000 yuan for the sake of "maybe I can rely on photos to eat in the future". If you have nothing to do with your camera, you can take pictures anywhere, especially on days when there is "big sun", especially when playing with a single-lens film machine. (Although the negatives are all expired, it took a long time to wash after shooting)

But I really can't remember. Is it because I didn't want to go out because I didn't want someone I want to go out with, or because of the epidemic? I think I have a certain disease that makes me comfortable not going out to play or socializing because of the epidemic. Even the habit of going north to find friends for dinner, chatting and exchanging life status in previous years seems to have been accustomed to it during the epidemic. (I remember everyone who said "Come to Taipei to find me!".)

In the years when I was still taking pictures, if I saw anything going on in the city, I would pick up my camera and leave. My life was always full. I went to this market on Saturday, to that lecture on Sunday, to this rock and roll during the day. District, which restaurant to go to at night to take pictures of other people's restaurants (not to eat at all, but to take pictures.)

A few days ago, I saw a camera manufacturer have a new camera experience announcement event, and I remembered that I also went to see the new camera at the end of 2018 (didn’t buy it.) I opened the registration form excitedly but didn’t fill it out, until one day on the browser. I found that the window was still there, and I didn't complete the form, so I filled it out and sent it out according to the steps. It’s not that I really want to see a new camera (I didn’t plan to buy it anyway), it’s just that I haven’t been out for a long time. It seems that I should go out and take a look, as if I’m still alive in the world!

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Everything in North Kaohsiung seems to be a memory from N years ago. If you don't go to the dome to watch a concert, eat Din Tai Fung in a department store, or go to the high-speed rail station to take a ride north, there is almost no chance to step into the north of Kaohsiung, which is divided between the north and the south of the Taiwan Railway Kaohsiung Station.

It’s been a long time since I took Gaojie to the north. When I left the station, it was like my first time to a new and unfamiliar place. I was even stranger in Taipei once, so I had to ask the customer service of the department store: "I haven't been here for a long time, I remember you have a place to eat underground, where should I go?" After walking for a while, I regained my past memories: "Ah Yes, it's here."

There are more people outside than I imagined.

From the MRT carriages to the high-speed rail station, and the food court in the department store, it was crowded (but not too crowded). I lowered the brim of my hat and pretended that I was tall enough to be invisible in the crowd as long as I didn't make eye contact. I brought my camera, but didn't want to take it out and take pictures! Maybe we should shoot a series of "post-epidemic BA.4/5 before", to take pictures of "seemingly normal" and the world is still in a pandemic state.

On the way back, I was able to walk back to the MRT station smoothly. The platform was full of people, the weather was too hot, and mass transportation was still needed. Otherwise, a lot of sweat would have evaporated after riding a motorcycle back and forth to the north, leaving crystals on the surface of the skin. And this was the memory of my motorcycle from Hualien to Taitung on the east coast in those years when I put on sunscreen without covering anything.

Summer should have been a good time to bask in the sun. It's just that the warming earth is too hot these days! It was so hot that I finally put on a long-sleeved jacket on top of a sleeveless vest in such a summer when standing still would make me sweaty, or I continued to stay at home all day long because of the epidemic, and became a day and night out. animal.

But also because of the epidemic, the habit of wearing a mask has become a must, and the spots on the cheeks have faded.

But after all, I belong to the child born in Xia. The sun took me away from hibernation and the restlessness of spring. Even though my back was sweaty, I still loved this sunny summer.

20220725. Cold water that is hot to the home is always warm. Kaohsiung. journal

Photo: 20210820 Kaohsiung Light Rail Jichang Station, Canon EOSM50 (Wow, I really want to buy Canon R10~~, but I have sorted out the old camera lenses, and then continue to take pictures of the world with them. That is to say, it should really be sorted out Photos, if there are no photos, you can take a text~)