I didn't learn anything at school in my third year of college

In the third year of college, the content of discussions among classmates changed from what to eat for lunch to research institutes, school grades, special topics and selection; teachers began to ask you what you want to do after graduation and what you plan to do. Facing the anxiety of going to school and employment, I began to think, what have I learned in the past three years? What are the skills that will allow me to find a job after graduation?

No. I found that I only learned half of everything: I knew formulas but didn’t know much about principles; I took many classes but thought my knowledge and numeracy might be on par with high school graduation; know how to use it.

I know why. I know why I am last in the class.

Because I hate having to memorize a lot of things that can be found on the Internet in exams; I hate that the education system benefits people with strong pen and paper calculation and memorization skills; I hate teachers who only read formulas in class; I hate my classmates telling me that I just need to set formulas; Hate that scholarships are given to high-achieving students and indifferent to those who work harder but fall short.

Maybe it's because of my own personality that I'm disgusted with all things that are forced and prescribed. Outside of class, I dare to say that I love learning and trying all the unknowns, but when I entered the school, I was tired of the system that only had lectures and exams and lost interest.

Right now, I feel dazed and anxious because I know so little about the expertise and industry, and even hate to communicate with people. I just want to live in my own little circle and do what I want to do. Luckily than most, I know exactly what I like and dislike. I know my strengths, and I'm still curious and thinking.

But what does this get me? Maybe there is only optimism left.