【Away from Anxiety】Walk to the place where the water is poor, sit and watch the clouds rise

Write on the front: (I love talking nonsense)

Recently, I have been writing community activity articles. Because of the recent community activities, I have aroused the emotions that I placed in a small corner in my heart, and suddenly swept in like a tsunami. At this moment, I really want to share it. There is a kind of itching in my heart, and it has been itching for a long time, and I will be very anxious if I don’t share it. I want to say hurry up and hit it when I feel it now, or it will inevitably be depressed if I put it on my mind.

I’m actually a very anxious person. When I’m anxious, I start to pick my nails unconsciously; I’m serious, I never had very beautiful nails since I was a child, because I had a bad habit of biting my nails when I was a child, and I even licked my nails. My parents scolded me many times, but I couldn't get rid of this habit. Whenever I was anxious and nervous, I would start biting my nails. I remember that the pressure in middle school was so intense that I gnawed my thumb until my classmates saw it. Fear, and even anxious to grow white hair.

Later, for some unknown reason, after I entered high school, I gave up the bad habit of biting my nails and switched to picking my nails. I often bleed my hands, but I didn't care much. So the habit is still there, I didn't realize I was picking my nails so often. Until one time, in a general education class at a university, a friend next to him suddenly said, "Why are you picking your nails again? I found out that you are picking your nails very often. When you were a child, were you not satisfied and cared for when you were eating a pacifier? "

My friend suddenly said this sentence, which made me pause for a moment, and began to think back to my own appearance as a baby. Super love to cry in the middle of the night, and they all cry very fiercely. As long as we don't hold you, you cry; as long as we leave you, you cry; I also like to eat pacifiers. When the pacifier is pulled out, I cry very much. Love to drink milk and beg for it every few hours.

Hmm... Looking back on this memory, I feel that my friend's words seem to make sense, but I have no impression at all. I only know that my mother is complaining about this period of parenting. I can only comfort my mother, I don't know I am a baby on such a locomotive (wry smile).

Back to the topic, so I'm going to fix my bad nail-picking habit due to anxiety. Whenever I am very anxious and irritable, and there is a dark cloud over my head, and it will not go away for a long time, I will immediately go to nature to ask for a pat.

At this time, I will be very fortunate that I live in the country, and I can see the vast and beautiful sky as soon as I look up, as well as the lovely little flowers and grass. Because I live in a city where I'm super anxious, because when I'm facing a lot of high-rise buildings, cars, motorcycles, and people, I feel suffocated and irritable, and my temper will change. Getting worse, desperately wanting to escape from it all.

Therefore, when I am irritable, I like to climb to the top floor of my house to see the changes in the sky. This habit was cultivated since I was a child in my country. Maybe it is because I often look at the sky with empty eyes (sluggish), so I often gather with a group of friends to chat. I don’t feel it. When it comes to topics of interest, my eyes are indifferent, and my mind drifts to which cloud. Sometimes because I often offend people like this, I feel like I don't fit in with the group. (Sorry, I'd love to try to fit into the group, but socializing is so tiring!)

This is the sunrise at the bottom of Dawu Mountain. It was taken on the top floor of my house. I got up early for a walk that day and went to the top floor to take a sunrise photo (I took several pictures to make a moving picture), and I found that it seemed to be taken that day. A small crooked moon. Whenever I get up in the morning, I really enjoy my time alone, where I meditate on the truth of life and the like (it’s just crazy).

This is the sunset photo from yesterday evening. The burning clouds are super beautiful. I quickly climbed up to the top floor to take a photo, and I specially selected the angle to capture the little crooked moon. In other words, every time I go to the top floor to look at the sky, the sunset and the clouds, I feel like a bird, flying freely on the clouds. (Those worlds in the world have all been thrown out of the sky)

This photo was taken a long time ago, and it was also taken on the top floor. I forgot when it was taken. I love Jesus light very much. I remember that when I was taking a photography aesthetics class in college, I heard the teacher explain that it was called "Jesus light". And every time I go out, if I suddenly see this scene on the side of the road, I can't help but pick up my phone and take a few more pictures with the light of Jesus.

The impression in this picture is that not long after I was discharged from the hospital, when my friend came to visit me with Japanese specialties, and we were chatting on the country road, I quickly took a picture of what I saw, and I remember my friend said, "You really are. I love taking pictures of clouds! I often see you sharing on Facebook.” (My Facebook is now abandoned, laughs)

This is also a sunset photo taken on the top floor. I also forget why I took it. Anyway, I took it on the top floor because it was very beautiful, and when I finished shooting, I would stay on the top floor in a daze and watch the sunset gradually turn from red to purple, and then to black. , because that is very healing; sometimes, some kind of inspiration will suddenly appear to solve some thousand-year-old mysteries that I can't solve in real life.

The last photo I shared was taken in a hot summer in July a few years ago. I remember that I had just listened to a Beethoven pastoral concert that day, and I was in a very refreshing mood. When I was riding a bicycle on the road, I found the blue sky was beautiful and beautiful. As pure as a sapphire, as pure as the sea, even my heart has been sublimated. I decided to take a photo to record my emotion when I listened to Beethoven's "Pastoral Symphony". I also brought it back to the concert poster. Home collection (because the design is super beautiful.)

That's my way of staying away from anxiety, thanks for watching :D