The meaning of money ┃ Stockholm, Sweden

I can't stop thinking about the meaning of money.

Money, which embodies and defines the value of many things, also discards many things that are difficult to measure. Especially when an accident happens and the loss of money makes me unbalanced and weightless.

Three days before the theft, I came to Stockholm and was able to stay in the cheapest backpacking hostel in all of Northern Europe. Let the soul, who always communicates with people a lot every day because of hitchhiking all the way and living in the sofa owner's house, can temporarily settle down and return to a state of being alone and comfortable.

The day after my stay, I reunited with my Swedish friend, Mikael, whom I met in Darjeeling, India, after his 10-month honeymoon with his wife last week. Wandering around downtown Stockholm with Mikael, talking about how the world is a virtual possibility and we're all just game characters of our own choosing.

Mikael accidentally saw his ex-girlfriend where we were having coffee together. So Mikael, who wanted to calm down, and I analyzed what was going on inside of me, who was still trying to avoid that moment. We used metaphysical and eloquent conversations to let the whole afternoon pass by at the flick of a finger.

After returning to the inn, I met Hiroto. He started in Denmark and started a one-month trip to Northern Europe in the opposite direction to me. He was originally a running coach and part-time Airbnb’s second host. He recently quit his job to become an engineer.

While chatting with Hiroto about his journey, Mikael sent a message.

Originally, Mikael's mother-in-law was worried that other people who didn't know the visitors would cause unnecessary trouble, so she gave up the idea of inviting me to perform at Mikael's father-in-law's birthday party. But now my mother-in-law has let go and let me go to the show tomorrow. Even if you don't know what will happen in the next moment, it is a traveler's privilege to always be able to meet sudden changes.

On the morning of the birthday party, after having breakfast with Hiroto, we went out to see Hiroto off. He was going to take a bus to Oslo. We walked for more than ten minutes to the bus terminal, but we couldn’t find the car he wanted to take. Well, two people were running around in the station, and they finally caught up before the driver drove away. It was a close call.

We bid farewell in a hurry and look forward to meeting again in the future.

After sweating all over, he returned to the inn to take a shower, and stayed in the room leisurely until noon before slowly preparing to go out to the meeting. Mikael's father-in-law's house is 14 kilometers away from the city. The banquet is at 3 pm. Even if you have to arrive an hour early, as long as you get on the bus smoothly, I think it is more than enough.

Seeing that an income is about to come into the account, I opened the inner bag of the bag before departure to confirm the current total amount in the wallet.

"what?"

The stack of banknotes originally placed in the zipper bag looked thinner, and upon closer inspection, it was found that all that remained were small-denomination banknotes.

My mind went blank.

The brain quickly understood what was going on, and even as the body began to search the bag over and over again, it knew it was just a ritual. After rummaging through the backpack, I froze in the room for a while. I know I have to go out now.

I put the guitar on my back and went to the downstairs counter to tell me about the theft. The female counter said that 3 people checked out today, but anyone could be the culprit. She looked regretful, but didn't know what to do for me.

I slammed out the door, walking to the bus stop, my mind racing at full speed, wondering when the money disappeared. When I woke up in the morning, I left my bag in my room so unprepared, and then took it to Hiroto when I went out for a ride. The experience of living in an inn tells me that the inn is always safe. Even if a special magnetic card is required to enter the room, I am still too careless. I never thought that my roommate would be a prisoner.

When I jumped on the bus, I wanted to use the only 100 and 20 SEK left in my zipper bag to pay, but because the bus could not get change, I had to give up decisively. I got out of the car and walked to the highway, trying to hitch a ride with my thumbs out. After 5 minutes, another bus stopped to let me in and kindly took me halfway.

As soon as I got out of the car, I ran up and tried to hail a car when a car passed by. After 15 minutes, a car finally stopped and took me to my destination. I finally caught my breath and arrived at the banquet hall at 2 o'clock on time.

As soon as I saw Mikael, I decided to tell him about my situation. After he introduced me to the venue and his parents-in-law, he let me rest by myself, and paid me in advance to give me some time to continue. Precipitate what just happened in the mind.

Before 3 o'clock, the guests had already arrived, and I also started performing outside early. Everyone gathered in the courtyard to chat, I tried to integrate the notes into the surrounding words, and carefully focused on the music, not to concentrate too much attention. At 4 o'clock, the hostess rang the bell and began to ask today's protagonist, the father-in-law, to speak. Then when it was Mikael's turn to speak, he introduced me and then asked me to perform a song in front of everyone. I didn't expect it in advance. In this situation, I just intuitively sang "Forever young" by Kazuo Takehara.

"Rather than hiding under the eaves to avoid the rain, I would rather run to the sunny street"

After getting some applause, I went to the banquet hall with everyone to start our meal. The process of a birthday banquet is somewhat similar to a wedding banquet, with speeches from relatives and friends interspersed in the middle, and a few small games that can be played together. The people at my table knew that I didn't speak Swedish and spoke to me kindly in English. Normally, I would definitely join the conversation seriously, but I am still in the embarrassment of being stolen money, annoyed by my carelessness.

As a result, I only engage with people when necessary. Time passed, and the banquet continued until 8 pm, and everyone began to slowly leave the venue. I say goodbye to Mikael and Anna and head back home. I know when we will meet again, but I still haven't said anything properly.

On the return journey, I successfully hitchhiked back to the city, and I spent another hour walking back to the inn.

I checked the mailbox to make sure that the card was not stolen, and then I saw a message from Hiroto that his passport was missing, and asked me if I could help him tomorrow and ask the counter staff.

After replying to the message, I can finally rectify my mood.

After recalculation, the total lost money is 340 euros and 500 SEK, which adds up to 13,500 Taiwan dollars, which is not an amazing number. But more than the numbers themselves, I was the only one who understood how hard-earned that money was. I want to cherish that money so much, and spend the hard-earned money on my trips, all from the kindness of strangers.

On the bright side, fortunately, it happened this morning, otherwise, even the reward for today's birthday party would be taken away. Fortunately, the $500 in the same zipper bag was not taken because it was wrapped in an invoice and could not be seen as money.

But at the same time, all his efforts to save money in Europe amounted to zero. And I can't face myself, the fact that I've failed people's goodwill.

After the incident, I tried to reduce the amount of cash on me as much as possible. Two weeks later, I came to Munich, Germany. With the help of my friends, I bought a plane ticket to return to Taiwan in half a year, and spent all my money before leaving Germany.

Today, my life is still full of bills and firewood, rice, oil and salt, and I am still living under the aegis of capitalism. But I deeply realized that the reason why money surpassed money at that time was because it carried too many memories. Looking back on Mikael's smile that day, and the happy atmosphere of the birthday party, I always have a little regret that I didn't enjoy those times right now.

In the acquaintance and reunion, I stared at how time and space caused ripples in my heart. The rivers called journeys converge and flow through my life, giving me new days after another. I know that someday death will come, free me from my old body and soul. But this journey over and over again, although brand new like a sunrise, is like an old tape, rewinding and replaying constantly.

Money has its own weight and meaning. And the only thing I can take away are memories.