What do you think of "the teacher said that if there is chaos abroad, you will be beaten in the street"?

Two days ago, my friend Xiaobai immediately posted a status, and by the way, he went to the private group of the three of us on the empty podcast to share. The first reaction I saw at that time was thinking:

"Assuming this child is my child, he repeats the words of the teacher in the school to me, how should I respond?"

The same question, I want to throw it to everyone who is reading the article, suppose your child tells you the above, how would you respond to the child?

I especially want to talk about this topic seriously, because it involves education issues, most of my readers are 25-30 years old, and some friends of my age are married and have children and become young parents, and Many are about to become parents.

Although I have no parenting experience, there are many common sense and judgment skills that I think should be possessed, but many parents do not possess. I think the importance of family education in the environment in which children grow up is even more important than school education, but the role played by teachers and schools is often the "authority" in the eyes of children, with strong convincing power, most of the time children Those who are willing to listen to the teacher may not be willing to listen to the parents, because the child thinks that the teacher is far more knowledgeable than the parent.

This is indeed the case, but if parents have no way to identify whether the concept of “authority” passed on to their children is appropriate, cannot give children more adequate information and opinions, and even parents’ own cognition, knowledge and information screening ability are not enough, they will not be able to judge for all teachers’ knowledge. Words are obedient and unconditional supporters, then the child will absorb all the content from the "authority" without thinking, and the critical spirit will be strangled in the cradle sooner or later.

Regarding the conversation between this child and his friend, the first thing I felt after reading it was that the child had a strong "fear" of the United States. The "fear" stemmed from the teacher's description, such as going out to the country and becoming a crippled person, being beaten in the street, and being a person A large amount of negative information about the United States has been ingested in the cognitive information base of the United States, and this information will form a concrete scene and picture in his mind, so just mentioning "America" will naturally produce a conditioned reflex - "The United States is very chaotic. ', let alone a child.

It may not be easy to shape and change the cognition of adults, but the plasticity of children is much stronger than that of adults, and their cognition is still in the unset stage, so it is far easier to influence a child's cognition than adults. Why some terrorist groups train children to be killers.

Of course, I believe that the attitudes of the people who have been to the United States or studied or worked in the United States and the people who have never been to the United States or have never been abroad are very likely to be completely different.

Before sharing my own coping strategies, I would like to share with you a dialogue and discussion on this matter with Ai (boyfriend), Chinese people have their own perspectives on the world, and foreigners also have their own perspectives on the world. own perspective. (For a little clarification, the use of "Chinese" and "foreigners" in the article only refers to the distinction between the two "Teacher, Ai", and does not cover all groups.)

At that time, after listening to my retelling, Ai sighed, covered his face with his hands, and said half-jokingly:

"I am not so afraid of living in a place like Latin America. Why do Chinese people have such deep fear?"

I explained to him that the international relations between China and the United States have been tense in recent years, so the contradictions and frictions have been relatively severe, and negative news about the United States can be widely seen by the public on many domestic media platforms and self-media platforms. These include American school shootings, the issue of legal gun ownership, Asian Americans who were attacked and killed by racial hatred in the United States, and of course a lot of news about the United States smearing China. It is undeniable that these are facts, and the public is exposed to such reports on a large scale. , it is not surprising to have negative sentiments and impressions of the United States.

Are the teacher's words completely wrong? Not necessarily, after all, the teacher is also a reader of a lot of relevant news. If the teacher has no overseas experience, especially long-term life experience in the United States, it is not surprising to draw such a one-size-fits-all conclusion.

After Ai listened, he asked me:

"Are you sure that China is really that safe? The video you showed me the other day in a barbecue restaurant beating women on the street? And the news about the mother who was chained and gave birth to eight children a while ago? Is there any more news? Also, I've also heard that if you were a girl, born in rural China, what possibilities do you think you would encounter in your life?"

Although I personally don't like the United States, after all, the United States has made Latin America's economy like shit, and Latin American countries are manipulated like pawns in the United States, but I know very well that these people will definitely get serious punishment for committing crimes in the United States, not to mention the United States You also know how strong the law protects women, and American public opinion and the media will follow up and report on a large scale. Do you think these Americans will tolerate those things happening in the United States? I am neither American nor Chinese, and I only look at these two countries from a neutral point of view. "

After he finished talking about the recent news events, he started to tell me the relevant history of China that they had learned in their textbooks, including some events in the more famous world that would not appear in Chinese textbooks. For example, the photo of 64 Tank Man appeared in in their textbooks. Therefore, I'm not too shocked by what he said, after all, we can't let other countries teach their citizens the content of Chinese textbooks.

Just imagine, if Chinese teachers are accusing the United States of all kinds of social problems all day long, the United States is bad and terrible, and American teachers are promoting all kinds of "real social news" in China and amplifying it to the whole of China, in order to make partial generalizations. From the perspective of seeking truth from facts, it seems that both parties are understandable. Everyone is describing the truth, but can the two sides describe their perception of a "country" in an "objective" way?

As for people who grew up under two different systems and different rhetoric, as long as they adopt full acceptance instead of questioning authority and personally verifying the conclusions, then when these two types of people meet, they will only bite the other's weaknesses. Endless attacks and tearing.

Americans hate China, Chinese hate America, and most haters have never really understood each other's country, culture, or even set foot on each other's soil. Except for hatred, I don't think it will increase. Any sympathetic, pluralistic, critical, holistic view of an issue.

So, how should we view and respond to these "dangers" in the eyes of children?

Ai told me a story.

" No place is absolutely perfect and safe. My dad never told me where I was dangerous. One time we were driving and a money carrier was driving very strangely in the back of our car. My dad was very calm. He said to me, 'Let it pass, there might be something wrong with the car'. When the car passed us, at the next intersection we heard gunshots."

I asked him in surprise, "Why aren't you all afraid?"

However, Ai waved his hand and said indifferently: "What is this, the survival mode of Latin Americans is to learn to observe the surrounding environment. I spent my childhood in Japan when I was a child, and only went to Latin America after middle school, from safe places to dangerous places. , and my dad never cared about me. Every time before I went out to play, he only told me "Take care. You know what to do".

That's what I've always told you before, sometimes you're in a particularly safe place that's not necessarily good for your growth. If you feel that only your own hometown is the safest, then it will be harder for you to step out and see more possibilities because of fear, because you feel that there is no place in the world that can give you a sense of security, only here (you hometown).

Were you worried before you came to Latin America? what about now? How do you see your life here? Every time I go out with you, I will tell you not to take out your mobile phone on the street, especially in unsafe areas, and look after your own bag. "

In fact, in the past half year in Latin America, I have been to many neighborhoods, both poor and rich. My feeling is that there is more safety than danger, and once we go to some mixed places, he will always let me put Hide valuables before leaving the street. I remember one time we were in a taxi and I was playing with my phone in the co-pilot, and he would tell me to use my phone in this area.

In most cases, he only told me what to do, what possible dangers would appear, how to identify dangers, and how to look at the surrounding environment, but he seldom said to me "xxx is super dangerous, it happened there. A robbery shootout, what would happen if I went there..." Words like that made me psychologically terrified.

If I really want to go, he will also accompany me, choose the time of day, take me there, and when we pass through some local dangerous areas, every time he will sternly tell me to prick up my ears and open my eyes Be alert with big eyes.

Looking back, I have my own opinion.

I think as a parent, when you hear your child express this kind of content, you might ask your child a few questions:

1. When the teacher mentioned "disorder abroad", does he mean that countries other than China are in chaos, or does he mean "the United States" in particular?

2. Has the teacher ever been abroad? Have you been to the United States yourself? Have American life experience?

3. If the answer is "No", then you have not experienced it, but only heard it. Is the conclusion useful for reference? Even if the news factual evidence is conclusive, can individual news events be listed together as probabilities of the entire United States? Can further conclusions such as "American chaos" be drawn?

In the same way, if foreign children come to a conclusion similar to "China's chaos" after hearing that an American teacher has listed negative social news in China, are you willing to accept the process of deriving such a conclusion? If you don't accept it, how would you refute the foreigner's point of view?

4. If the answer is "yes", the conclusion drawn by the teacher that "people from China will become crippled when they go to the United States" is obviously unreasonable. After all, the teacher did not become a crippled person, and he was your teacher, didn't he?

As for the teacher, if he has witnessed the shooting and being beaten in the street, then he can understand his fear and external expressions, but we also need to investigate the views and opinions of more Chinese living in the United States.

Because when a person has an unpleasant experience with something, the brain tends to only choose to see the bad side. Just like if you have a bad first impression of a person, and the difference is entirely due to the negative evaluation of others, then even if there are many bright spots in him, you will choose to ignore it and ignore it. This is the origin of the stereotype.

If you want to have a more comprehensive perspective, then you might as well do more interviews and investigations. You can use the teacher's experience as a sample reference, but you should also look at the attitudes and opinions of other Chinese living abroad, which is more helpful You know all about "America".

Finally, you are about to go abroad. I understand that after accepting a large number of negative descriptions of the United States from teachers, you will also have corresponding negative evaluations and resistance to the United States, but sometimes the conclusions of others cannot be used directly as your own. Opinion, this is a kind of laziness and shortcut, and when you produce second-hand conclusions, do you think it is rigorous? Is it persuasive? Can it stand up?

Therefore, in any case, I hope that you can take the existing conclusions of others, retain some opinions, and at the same time go to the United States to test and feel for yourself, and the critical thinking skills you have acquired will be far better than those who come without thinking. It is much more powerful, and I think you don’t want to lose the ability to pursue the truth in the future because of jumping to conclusions.

Also, even though America is dangerous, I think introducing danger in moderation can help you grow better, hone your ability to observe the environment and strengthen your sense of self-protection. If it's too comfortable, you'll embrace the comfort at a very young age and rest on your laurels. Book wisdom is important, but street wisdom is equally important.

Sometimes growing up and living in an environment that is too safe may not be an absolute good thing. The acquisition of street smarts often comes from danger, and fear will prevent you from doing a lot of things. Of course, you can also choose to be conservative and safe. After all, life The control rests with you, not me.

Finally, people who grow up in different cultures and environments have really different perspectives on problems. I always think that whether it is a child or a parent, more contact with people from different cultural backgrounds will help open up their original perspective and thinking. Great help.

Life is full of opinions and opinions, but the question is how do you judge the same and opposite opinions as yours? If you, as an adult, choose to accept the opinions of others without thinking, how can you guide the people around you and your children to think more deeply?

Although Ai and I often have conflicting opinions, we rarely agree with or completely deny each other's opinions. Basically, we will supplement each other's opinions, and supplements can be "superposition" or "rebuttal". , this process of dialogue just helps each other to think more deeply about many things.

Afterwards, our discussion came to a successful conclusion in one of his greasy remarks:

Latin America is dangerous.

The only dangerous thing is that you fall in love with me.