Mothers and their place of origin: Behavior and psychological analysis of 25 types of mothers. Understanding yourself can solve parenting and interpersonal problems

I always think that if a person wants to understand himself, having a child is definitely an excellent opportunity, because this child and we will definitely not be the same mold engraved from the appearance to the inside, in order to understand this new world. Children who are young must be dabble in brain science, psychology, parenting, etc. While absorbing knowledge and looking for parenting skills, they will inadvertently discover that it is ourselves who need to be clarified the most . If we do not know our own Mental state and behavior patterns, then it is difficult for us to objectively and rationally find the most suitable method for raising children.

Since the early days of pregnancy, I have created a group of mothers, mainly inviting expectant mothers who are almost pregnant to join, sharing their pregnancy with each other until the birth of the child, and meeting and communicating together. In addition, I also joined various kinds of Every mother has a different identity background and different personality. When they communicate with each other, they often inspire many interesting and novel sparks and laugh at them, but they also disagree from time to time and the atmosphere is tense, but it is wonderful Every once in a while, there will always be mothers who leave the group without warning, which makes other mothers who stay in the group feel confused and speculate about the reason for leaving.

Adler once said, "All troubles are troubles in relationships."

Of course, mothers do have differences of varying degrees with each other. Whether it's the surface war of words or the behind-the-scenes arguments, it's common to hear about it. The reason is simply that they can't understand each other. Maybe some people will say that Wouldn't it be better not to make mother friends? This is easy to say. If the child has not yet gone to school, it may be possible to do it, but after the child goes to school, he also makes friends, whether it is necessary for school-related contacts, or because of the children's good friendship and have to make friends with mothers It is easy to cause negative thoughts or conflicts because of their many differences. The purpose of this book is to try to unravel the knots of mothers. It lists 25 groups of mothers in the form of a control group, and then uses These mothers speak from their own perspectives, and analyze their strengths and weaknesses from an expert's perspective.

"When we meet mothers whose strengths and weaknesses are the opposite of our own, it is, in a sense, an opportunity for us to grow," the authors said.

A mother is actually a very easily injured creature . While we shoulder the social vision and the hard work of parenting, we are all eager to get the affirmation of others. Because of the love for our children, it is easy to dislike the parenting style of others. Anger, the author reminds us not to focus on "why did that person do that", but on "why did I react to that person's behavior" and turn the urge to criticize others to ourselves, Master the strengths and let go of the weaknesses by taking a hard look at your own process.

Taking my own motherhood as Gao Miner as an example, there are almost no mothers who have the same experience as me. Whenever I share parenting experiences with others, I always see the other person’s expression of listening to fantasy, as if we Raising different creatures, if it is a mother with rich parenting experience or a strong personality, she will tell me with a little accusation that I am too concerned about the child's behavior or that the parenting style I have adopted is not strong enough, etc. Even though I keep stressing that I have read many The books written by experts at home and abroad are still deaf to these mothers. I turned from anger at the beginning to understanding. After all, they have not experienced my parenting process and naturally cannot understand my feelings. Why should I care whether they agree or not? Woolen cloth?

Many experts and books on the market will encourage mothers to be brave enough to be themselves, but I think the premise of being yourself must be to truly understand your own strengths and weaknesses and to be aware of who we are when we get along with others , including when we interact with our children, All of them may present a face that we have never thought of. Because of having children, we recognize ourselves better, and because of having children, we want to become more mature adults. Maybe we also unintentionally understand the parents we couldn’t understand back then. , and perhaps reconciling with them silently in his heart.

A mother is not just a child-rearing role, but a growth path that finds herself and moves towards interpersonal harmony.