[Baker wants to enjoy] It's too heavy!

Since I came back to Matt City to write again, my wife has always been a loyal viewer . Although she doesn't leave a message and clap her hands every time (she often sees it and forgets it🤣), but every time she goes up and doesn't tell her, she will still be scorned🙄️, and then Open the phone and click the bell 🔔.

"Husband...Aren't you under a lot of pressure!"

Hmm... A few days ago, I had already heard this sentence suddenly popped out of the automatically shielded broken thoughts, what a dark but clear sentence! Of course, I didn't feel that way at the time, and I was even very excited because of the " Venus Springs ".

I don't know if anyone has the same experience. Writing, like many artistic creations, requires "inspiration" , perhaps from personal experience, or from other people's stories; it can be completely generated by one's own fantasy, or inspired by others... In any case, continue It is really not an easy task to capture and translate these inspirations into words. For me, when inspiration appears, it is like a "geyser" . It will pop up wildly for a period of time, maybe a few days, up to a few weeks, and it will automatically enter a " cooling time ", and the brain is often blank. I am not interested in anything, naturally it is difficult to have any inspiration. I don't feel how to write the article, and the result is a deep loss...

So every time when inspiration comes, I cherish and enjoy the process very much . Naturally, I don’t feel very stressed, and I don’t feel like I look like it, so I am very curious about where my wife comes from. The inspiration can show my pressure. big.

"Your article is too heavy!"

It turned out that she felt that the articles she wrote back these days were relatively heavy topics, not dark series such as: blackening , love is a curse , fear of the dark; but very realistic topics: war , getting along with colleagues , titles , even when it comes to family members Farewells , quarrels with my younger brother , fear of being a father ... Even the good " style writing " activities of others have been written by me as a "poor and beautiful " version.

Although there are a lot of happy content, but excluding the topics of physical therapy, buying a house, and stocks, looking back, there are really many topics that are not happy, especially the more reality, the deeper and darker it is. I really don't know that I wrote a bunch of black articles...

I think it has something to do with my own personality and experience:

pessimist

don't want to take risks

It's very common for me to " pretend the worst outcome for many things and prepare for it as much as possible ". Even before doing it, I simply choose not to do it because the "win rate" is too low ; or it is obviously a sure-fire thing. In my opinion, there will be many more possibilities with extremely low probability but " Murphy's Law ".

realistic thinking

I think it is more " rational " (although as I get older, I can occasionally write some emotional content), I try to approach many things from an objective and analytical perspective, and I will not make decisions because of emotional remoteness. Or often encounter indecision, stalemate situation.

mind that can't stop thinking

It's just " thinking a lot "! Here's an interesting example: our family is a community, and there will be a steep and long ramp before going out the gate. It's fine to walk slowly, but if you ride a bicycle up without shifting, you will blush and your neck will be thick. , because I usually have to walk this section when I go out and go home, so I don't care too much about the residents next to me.

But that day, a child who was about the first grade of elementary school rode a bicycle station at the top and bottom of the slope and shouted: "I'll just ride down, do you dare to bet with me!" Then I thought of all kinds of him The picture of riding down and hitting the gate covered in blood...

I really wanted to stop him from telling him that my brother did such a stupid thing when he was young, and as a result... "Will he think I'm weird?", "Will he be suspected of doing it if I go down? ?", "Will the people next to me think I know him?"...

bump!

The same result, exactly the same as the previous me, the him I had in my mind just now... I thought about it for a long time, but still couldn't stop him, so I just stood there, watching him fall on all fours, his nose bruised and his face bruised... Seeing this picture I still couldn't move to help him, I still stopped in place and let all kinds of thoughts pass through , and finally it seemed that I couldn't even hear the cry of the younger brother...

This kind of feeling of being hit by the five realms of enlightenment actually happens quite often ( anime: The stalk of the spell returning to the battle 🤣, if you don't understand, please leave a message below and I will explain it well 😁), although I say that my head is blank, But in fact, it is a white light formed by light of various colors passing through. If you can't see or find no basis for action, you can only stay in place...

experienced too much

It has been six years since I left the society, and it has really been a process of heartbreak and reorganization . Even a person who thinks I am so rational will feel a great loss in it. The human nature that I didn’t believe in at first has almost disappeared in the process. I don't survive...but fortunately, I have always been helped by noble people ( wife, senior colleagues... ), which made me look at all this more open- mindedly, and I am not so persistent about many things, but also have different views : too pessimistic, thinking too much Although the risk and the chance of injury are reduced, there is also no chance of "excessive compensation" and a more beautiful scenery. Of course, I also cherish the people around me who really treat me .

Based on these people and things that made me grow up, this type of article is somewhat gloomy , but I hope everyone can see the calmness and pessimism inside, at least you can find a little shadow in my article when you experience similar events - it must appear behind the light The scars, each so deep and heavy...

📝The article is over, but there are a few questions I want to ask you~

 ✔️Do you/do you consider yourself a "pessimist" or an "optimist"?

✔️How do you usually get your inspiration for writing? What do you do when you have no inspiration?

✔️Have you ever experienced unforgettable growth?

Feel free to leave a comment below and let me know what you think!

I'm Baker, I'm a physical therapist,

son, brother,

Husband, son-in-law...

When wearing or not wearing a therapeutic gown,

normal, usual,

commonplace everyday,

Joy, anger, sadness, and joy, all want to share with you;

Sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, I want you to taste it too.

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