【2020 Matters Annual Questionnaire】

Dec 30, 2020

There are only ten days left in 2020, share an event that you didn't expect to happen this year at the beginning of the year? How has this event changed your life?

 Mom broke her shoulder while going down the stairs in early October.

Our family seldom has a party. Usually, we don’t go out to eat, or people who go out to buy food come back to eat or order delivery. My sister never cooks and insists never to cook, she only cooks instant noodles and dumplings. I'm not much better, probably to the extent that I can fry a few more dishes, and it's still unfamiliar that I have to compare the recipes before cooking.

As everyone knows, after my mother was discharged from the hospital, she was very picky about her diet. She said that she had to eat very healthy because her vitality was severely damaged, so she directly listed several rules.

Can't order delivery
Every meal must have three dishes
Dishes cannot be repeated for each meal
At least two kinds of fruit

Although October is just after the peak work season, it is not so busy, but there is still a fixed amount of work to be done every day, so it is really difficult to achieve these conditions (especially the dishes cannot be repeated), especially in the first week. When I hit my menstrual period, I was so busy that I could only sleep three hours a day, and my menstrual cramps were so painful that I had to take painkillers. I collapsed several times after my sudden menopause, had strange things growing on my body and was depressed for days.

In 2020, what gives you the deepest sense of meaning?

 Have a deeper understanding of life.

Including the epidemic throughout the year, after learning the news of the end of the third uncle cancer in July this year, I went to Tainan twice. The first trip was to visit the doctor and the second trip was to attend the memorial service. When I attended my third uncle's son's wedding two years ago, I saw him wearing a suit and tie and smiling happily. Two years later, we met on the hospital bed and entered the tower in two weeks.

More than once this year, I heard the news that some people who do not smoke or drink, work and rest normally, and have good exercise habits are suffering from cancer. It seems that what is destined to happen is to happen. Predict what lesions will suddenly appear in the body, and never know whether tomorrow will be the last day, and every gathering may really be the last. Being able to continue to plan for the future at the end of the year is something to be grateful for, and every day that I can live well is so precious.

The global epidemic is still severe, please record an epidemic event that you think is worth remembering.

 Real-name mask policy.

Our family usually has the habit of buying masks, but I don’t often go out for work at home. I can buy ten pieces and I can use them for several weeks. I just bought a big box before the outbreak, which can be used for a long time. But as soon as the news said that the epidemic was a pandemic, my mother panicked. Every day I was told to go to pharmacies and convenience stores to find masks, but I went to many places and couldn't get them.

One day when I went to buy breakfast, I saw a girl talking on the phone with a big bag of masks in it. There were all kinds of masks in the bag (all kinds of masks for adults and children), just when I was still wondering how she could collect them. When there were so many kinds of masks, I heard her say to the person on the phone, "I can't even buy a mask ~ hurry up and help others buy it!"

I just looked at the big bag of masks in her hand that was so full that it was about to overflow, thinking that a friend who worked three jobs a few days ago said that she didn't buy a mask and could only share it with her colleagues. One mask was reused to the limit. Dare to lose... If the government hadn't introduced the real-name system policy, how many people would have stockpiled like them?

How has travel restrictions in 2020 changed your relationship with others/the world? Is there any person/thing that you must see/do when the epidemic is over?

 Meeting others comes with unease and guilt

As someone who seldom goes out, the travel restrictions didn't affect me... um... that's what I wanted to answer.

In early December, I met a friend in Kaohsiung, after four years of meeting. She was getting married, but I had to take care of my mother and couldn't go down to attend her wedding, so she sent me a wedding invitation while she was on a business trip to the north. We had Chinese food together before she was about to hitch a ride south, and we had a good time chatting like we did in college. The four-year gap didn't seem to exist ~~, but we were all talking about getting married and having children~~ . I didn't expect that a local case suddenly appeared a while ago... The day after the news came out, my friend immediately sent a message to apologize to me, saying that she should not invite me out for dinner. sorry in.

At first, I couldn't understand her guilt, because the routes were different, we all wore masks well, and we tried to avoid crowded places. Meeting her was also my own choice, so I have been comforting my friends not to be too Worry, no need to feel so guilty.

Later, I suddenly remembered that I went to the hospital this month to visit my friend who just gave birth to her second child, and I played with my eldest daughter for an hour while she went to the nursery to breastfeed. If I did bring the virus to them, I would be Are you a sinner through the ages? Just imagining it makes me feel terrible. I instantly understand my friend's guilt, and I am still very, very uneasy and guilty.

As we grow older, people meet only less and less every year, and every meeting is precious. So I don't have anything special I want to do after the epidemic is over. I just hope that when I meet my friends, I don't need to feel uneasy and guilty anymore.

Talk about a conflict you encountered in 2020 that was difficult to resolve. The conflict here is: You feel your beliefs and actions are in conflict.

 Something to do with family.

It is obvious that he has watched his family all his life, but his values are much different. It can be said that conflicts arise after only a few words, and it is almost impossible to communicate. When I was young, I was afraid of losing my friends and I was always wronged and didn’t realize it. When I grew up, I experienced a lot of interpersonal pain and became sober. Now, I have an attitude towards those around me, even if I have known each other for many years. Friends do the same. Of course, being a stranger must be sad, but in the end I will silently accept the result.

But the family can't do anything about it. No matter how many times we quarreled, how angry we wanted to strangle him, and swore that we would never pay attention to this person again in our life, we would still pull our faces down and talk to each other in the end, and the vicious circle would never end. This is an intractable contradiction.

Share a moment when you "suddenly understood what I was against."

 Very difficult question to answer.

Empathy is a difficult thing, because people always think about themselves first, their feelings first, and defend their own values first. I thought I had many moments when I "suddenly understood" someone or something. After thinking about it carefully, I realized that most of the time I didn't really understand it, I just felt like I understood it, or I tried to imagine it, and I thought it might be Because of this, it will be like this. I should only have moments when I respect the other person's idea or position, but I don't understand.

Frankly speaking, it is difficult for people to understand each other without really experiencing the situation the other party has experienced, whether it is their position, thoughts or feelings.

How has your relationship with your body changed compared to a year ago? Do you like your current body more?

 I don't seem to like my body.

I have been frail and sick since I was a child. When I was a child, my health insurance card could cover the H card for one year (it seems that this will reveal my age).

Then I don't know if I was born in the wrong country, as long as I am alive after twelve o'clock, I have been a night owl since I was conscious. But in the past two years, I felt that it could not go on like this. When night owls only got more and more sleep, they would be more and more tired. Every month, they were challenged to adjust their work and rest, but each time they only succeeded for a few days and then failed. Breaking the work, it's just a little after writing the questionnaire... This year is coming to an end (I really want to cry)

After 2020, have you found something about yourself that you cannot stop?

 read various articles

I originally wanted to write about reading, writing, chasing movies and other things that I have done for most of my life, but I found that those things are not unstoppable, but can be stopped for a long time and then start again.

The most common thing to do this year is to read various articles, whether it is political current affairs or popular entertainment, no matter how busy I am, I will find time to read one or two articles, probably to know what is going on in the world today, or if I like The author has not updated the article or the like. I like the surprise of accidentally passing by a good article, as well as knowledge that should have been known and missed news. The place to spend the most time reading articles is of course Matters. It should continue to do so next year.

Please share with us your favorite song, favorite book or most memorable movie of 2020

This year, I often think of a certain song and listen to it for a whole month. I thought for a long time that it should be the summer of Liang Duoyi ft. Wendy. As long as I hear the sound of water, my heart will be calm, and so is the mountain in the MV. Although it is a very sad song.

One of my favorite books is of course the very boring "Vegetarian" .

The most impressive movie is "Dongzhu: Poetry of the Times" .

Yoon Dong-joo is the most beloved poet in Korea and an independence activist. He was born in a big era, and he has a passion for writing, but he can't fully display his talents on manuscript paper. He was arrested by the Japanese police, the words he wrote were misinterpreted, and he was sentenced to 2 years in prison for participating in the anti-Japanese national independence movement. In the end, he was tortured to death by the Japanese army in prison.

It is expected that the film and his poetry collections, as well as the creation of later generations with classic poems, will be sorted out in the next Korean note.

Let me share one of my favorite poems first.

 I wish I could be worthy of the sky before I die Even the wind that blows through the leaves can make me feel bad I should love all things that are dying with the heart of singing the stars and walk on the path I was given star

Finally, could you please represent your 2020 with a photo.

Buy new clothes to earn a nest, and the colors match unexpectedly. There was a warm pack on his clothes, fearing that the old uncle who had bone spurs all over his body had a backache.

This year, I go out less than last year. I have it company when I work from home. We are together almost 24 hours a day. Every time I look back, it is very healing~