Illness Notes | If you lose the symbol of femininity?

The sick notes that I really don’t want to open are still recorded.

Ironically, I've written a few articles about how men and women are not differentiated by external symbols, and how I hated Eve's sin for being the first woman to make me bleed and suffer every month, I also said that I would never want children in my life, "it's not your nature to be a mother"... Are these all going to be slapped in the face?

I see a doctor on a regular Thursday morning, and it has been nearly ten hours since I learned that I have breast cancer around noon, but I haven’t digested it well, and I haven’t searched the Internet for relevant information. As early as two weeks ago, when I was unwell and the doctor said that I had a tumor, I was pretty sure that I had breast cancer. This is not something worth talking about, but I am always very sensitive to "bad" premonitions. Perhaps when I heard my teacher say, "How many percent of the world's people (the data at that time was astonishing) may have cancer", I believed that I would one day get it.

So for the first week, my task was to tell the doctor that I was not feeling well and have him examine me;
In the second week, obediently went to "sample" just to confirm that there was cancer;
The third week is to get the doctor's personal confirmation.

The script is indeed going according to what I want, but my aunt told my mother a few days ago that she thinks I should be fine, and the hospital should call me if there is something wrong I also have a small expectation that maybe the same as what my aunt said, but on the one hand, I feel that if this is the case, the hospital will definitely say it when I check! Moreover, I have already made an appointment to see the results after a week, and they also said that the situation will not be bad for a week or two, so they should not be in a hurry to notify.

Today, I deliberately arrived at the hospital a little later, and only about seven people waited. Originally, I wasn't nervous at all, but the old gentleman next door suddenly played a quarrel video, which made my heart beat a little unstable. When it was my turn to go to the clinic, I suddenly forgot where I had put my health insurance card in my mind, so I found the inner pockets of the two bags.

As soon as I entered the clinic, the doctor said, "I remember seeing your examination report. Well, it should be breast cancer!"

At this time, the doctor just opened my test report. He still wanted to try to speak in a relaxed tone. He thought he was trying to appease the patient, but maybe that was his habit of speaking? He added, "Sure enough, it's breast cancer. But you are very lucky, you found it very early, and most people don't find it at this time!" Not so good, try to minimize going to the hospital.

Later, the doctor took out a piece of paper and wrote down my various test indexes. In fact, I had no idea at all. I only knew that he said that I was in the second stage, so don't worry, but because "I am very young", I will take medicine to control it in the future. ten years. In the first week, I felt particularly "you are still young". Later, I checked the data and found that the most common age for breast cancer in China is 45 to 55 years old, which is earlier than that in Western countries. Young and to have menopause.

As soon as I heard the "menopause needle", I was very sensitive and asked the doctor, "How many years will it take?" He said it was about two to three years, but there was still hormone therapy. I thought about it and said, "But after the treatment, I will probably stop menstruating. …”.

The doctor said helplessly: "Yes, it should be gone during this treatment. Have you considered freezing your eggs? "

I obviously feel that menstruation is annoying every month, why are you so afraid of being stopped? Later, I thought that if I could decide on my own not to have menstruation, I would probably vote for it, but as a woman, I don’t want to be deprived of my original nature—the ability to reproduce, even if I don’t want to.

I never wanted to have a child, but suddenly thought that I was not qualified to have a child and felt a little sigh. After returning home, what I was most worried about was this, and I began to wonder if I should discuss with the doctor whether the menopause needle must be shot? What are the effects of hormonal therapy? Although the doctor said that his patients looked all right... I also knew that I should cooperate with the doctor's advice for treatment.

I don't know how to end this article. Today's mood is a little clearer than the previous two weeks. I feel a little lost! I know that I won’t die. This kind of treatment is really not a big deal, but thinking about the need to take medicine for ten years to control, what effect will the medicine have on me, can I still travel as I did before?

To say what it really feels is that the patient is very hard and still needs to remember the necessity of various courses of treatment that the doctor said, to think about what needs to be done in a short time, or to consider their own economic factors to choose an appropriate course of treatment, but I almost I don't remember what the doctor said.

Written at the end: After the diagnosis of breast cancer, I can justifiably terminate the cooperation with the MP.