Nan Sheng’s first half of life

My cousin from my hometown suddenly called me and asked, do you remember Nan Sheng? His wife called and asked to borrow money. She took out an online loan to repair the house. Later she found out that it was a loan shark. Before I could get there, someone came to the door.

Before I could answer, my cousin sighed again: Oh my life! Nansheng refused to accept the fact that God would not care about him, so he fought on his own. Freedom, marriage, wealth, any of them were not fought to a bloody end? In the end, reality will not let him go, this is fate.

Following my cousin’s words, I recalled Nan Sheng—Nan Sheng was a childhood friend who was both familiar and unfamiliar to me. He was born in the rural area of ​​Wengyuan, Guangdong in the 1980s. He has the unique simplicity, shyness, and stubbornness of a country boy who refuses to admit defeat. In my eyes, he is almost the epitome of a generation of rural youth.

1

I clearly remember that when I first met Nan Sheng, he was covered in a coat that was worn by an adult so that the original color could no longer be recognized. The pockets of the coat were torn and the sleeves were long and drooped, which was very funny.

I couldn't help but laugh, and I pointed at him and said to my aunt, "He must be wearing his father's clothes." Looking at him again, I shrugged my head, my face turned red, and I bit my lower lip.

My aunt married from No.15 Village in Kunshan, Wengyuan, to Zhoupi Town and opened a small grocery store. There were always red, yellow, and green candies and plum blossoms on the counter, which tempted me as a child to run to my aunt's house during winter and summer vacations. If you eat too many candies, your mouth will taste sweet. The one on the left says "Auntie is good" and the one on the right says "Uncle is good". They are very popular in their hometown.

Nan Sheng was 12 years old at the time and was a newly hired boy in the grocery store. I am 6 years old and the youngest child in the family. In addition to looking at and selling goods, Nan Sheng is also responsible for taking care of me and playing with me.

Nan Sheng is shy, obedient, and sadly sensible. I was a naughty and playful person. I would either go to the rice fields to catch birds or go to the river to fish. Every time, he would say, "Don't go, Aunt Jiang (my aunt) will be worried."

I always make reasonable excuses: "Yes, that's why I want you to accompany me."

He would always try to dissuade me: "I can't go, I'll give you candy, but you won't go either."

But whenever I set off angrily with a slingshot or a keg, he would quietly follow behind me. When I have fun, I either come home too late, or I have some minor accidents, either my hands are cut or my shoes are washed away by the water. If there are too many situations, my aunt will scold me, but Nansheng always takes the responsibility for me.

One time I went to the back mountain to poke a bee nest. The plastic bag on my face was not tied tightly, and the bees found the opening and stung me all over my face. It was painful and frightening. I cried so much that tears and snot ran down my face and I returned to my aunt's house.

My aunt looked at my red and swollen face, picked up the broom and spanked Nan Sheng on the butt without saying a word. Nan Sheng refused to hide or escape, and let the broom hit him without making a sound.

I was so frightened that I burst into tears and explained: "It's not Nansheng, it's not Nansheng, it's not Nansheng!"

Later, my aunt helped me apply medicine and told me: I have to play with myself and don’t provoke Nansheng. He is not your kind. It’s been hard enough, so don’t make it worse.

Of course, I didn't understand it at all at the time. I only remember that in the simple and happy time of my childhood, there were blue skies and white clouds, fields and mountains, green grass and wild flowers, small rivers and fish, and Nansheng.

2

After I entered elementary school, I followed my parents to study in a city two hours away from Zhoupi. But whenever the holidays came, I would go to my aunt's house.

Auntie's grocery store expanded its storefront and started a small wholesale business. Nansheng gradually became busy, moving, recording and delivering goods.

During the holidays, my cousins ​​also helped my aunt sell goods and collect money, and I helped Nan Sheng take down the orders and order the goods. Nan Sheng never said thank you. Every time he would just say: "I can do it myself. You can rest."

The night in the town returns to tranquility from the hustle and bustle of the day. A dog barking will lead to another dog barking, which can be heard far away. My cousins ​​and I always like to buy ingredients to cook midnight snacks. But after a tiring day, most of the time no one wants to go out. So, it was either rock-paper-scissors decision or Nan Sheng died.

When I lose, I always grab Nan Sheng and ride my bicycle in circles on the streets of the town. Once, Nansheng rode to a small village next door in order to find cheap and fresh mountain snails. On the way back, the night wind blew away the heat of the day, and it was very pleasant to see stars twinkling when I looked up. We walked side by side, and Nan Sheng suddenly said: "It's so comfortable, I really want to keep walking."

Nan Sheng has never been good at expressing himself. "Okay", "Okay", "Listen to you" and "Just come" are almost all his daily conversations. It was the first time I heard emotional words like "comfortable" and "want" from his mouth. I couldn't help but be surprised: "You also have something to 'think' about. Tell me, what else do you want to 'think' about?"

Nan Sheng was stunned for a few seconds. It felt like some secret had been peeked into. He lowered his head and replied: "I want to make money and find a good doctor for my mother. I also want to continue going to school like you. Don't tell others. .”

I have already learned from my aunt that Nansheng's family is very poor and he has two younger sisters and one younger brother.

Before coming to work at his aunt's house, his father went to the unlicensed small coal mine in the next village to dig coal. One day it rained. In order to dig more loads, his father went into the pit in the rain. When he was lifted out on the third day, he had lost consciousness.

When seeking compensation, the coal boss left the 500 yuan and a watch he had with him and promised to sell the coal the next day to compensate. Nan Sheng's mother believed it, but she didn't expect that he ran away that night and transported all the coal away overnight.

The compensation has not been received, the coal plant has been closed, and the men of several families have lost their jobs. After the funeral, someone complained about Nan Sheng’s father: “When a person dies, he drags others down.”

Nansheng's mother asked the village committee to help find the coal boss. The village chief shrugged and said helplessly: "He is not from our village, and he has escaped. Where can we find him?"

There were four mouths waiting for food in the family, but only the mother was a labor force. There was no time to grieve, so Nan Sheng, the eldest, had to drop out and work as a waiter at his aunt's house to help support the family. He worked for more than ten years.

He couldn't read, had no holidays, toys, and a willful childhood and youth, but Nan Sheng never complained - at least I never heard him complain. He seems to accept everything that fate has given him, and even the seemingly natural "thoughts" of you and me dare not speak out openly.

3

The worry-free holidays passed quickly. When I entered high school, my aunt's grocery store expanded again, opening three stores, and she also started wholesale in the town. My cousin and cousin, who don't like studying but have good business acumen, each took charge of a store after graduating from high school, with Nan Sheng helping out in three places.

As the pressure of the college entrance examination increased, the holidays and frequency of my visits to my aunt's house also decreased, and I had even less time to see Nansheng. I learned more about him from my aunt, cousin, and cousin. It is said that he is now on his own, able to load and deliver goods by himself, and has also tapped some customers.

When I was in college, Nan Sheng called me several times. At first, we talked about some interesting things about the holiday. He said that his cousin was looking after the store during the day and fighting in online games at night, while the cousin secretly talked about online dating; I talked about the school newspaper reporter team, the campus radio station, the new books I read and the activities I participated in. , talking about a boy with slender fingers who can dance on the guitar strings...

The more I talked, the more silent Nansheng became.

I don’t know when to start. We carefully chose the topic of chatting, but in the end there were only simple greetings and his deep and quiet breathing. We talked less and less, so I hung up the phone in a hurry, and he didn't call again. Nansheng and I became more and more strangers as we walked.

College life is rich and colorful, which makes me yearn for small town shops as much as when I was a child. It is only during the Spring Festival that our family goes to my aunt's house to visit relatives.

Walking by the river where Nan Sheng and I once caught fish together, I realized that the river was really narrow and could be crossed with just a short step; the fields that once seemed to be endless were actually less than five acres; I used to imagine that there were water monsters and I was so scared. The terrible well is only two or three meters deep.

Every household has access to tap water. The abandoned wells are surrounded by weeds, and moss grows wantonly on the buckets.

Even during the Spring Festival, Nan Sheng was very busy. When we met occasionally, we would just exchange a few words. Nansheng was either loading goods in the store, liquidating in the warehouse, or going out to transport goods. The vehicle he drove changed from a small four-wheeler to a large truck. He became stronger, and his dark skin was shining. With a box of goods, he squatted for a moment, grabbed it with both hands, turned around, and arrived at the truck with clean and neat movements. So serious yet so helpless.

It is said that when he became an adult, Nansheng also wanted to go out to work, but his mother's frail body could no longer take care of his sister and brothers. A bucket of water at home had to be fetched by Nansheng early in the morning; Nan Sheng chopped it overnight; his younger siblings had to go to school, so Nan Sheng had no choice but to stay in his hometown and take care of his family while working.

In the years when youth should have been in full swing, Nan Sheng was burdened with a burden that people of his age could not imagine and bear. It is said that those who pay honestly will always be rewarded, even if it is not proportional. I think fate should also favor Nansheng.

4

In my memory, when I saw Nan Sheng again, I had graduated from college and became a reporter. My cousin was getting married and had a banquet, so I rushed back to attend the wedding.

The business of my aunt's family was going smoothly. Not only did they run a store, but they also opened the only large furniture store in the town. My cousin and cousin have already separated from my aunt's house, and Nansheng has also moved from his aunt's house to his cousin's furniture store, with a monthly salary of two thousand. My cousin was busy getting married during that time, and Nan Sheng became the busiest person in the store.

I was helping my cousin prepare a wedding dress, and when we talked about Nansheng, my cousin joked: "Nan Sheng has always liked someone. However, that person is a scholar and a reporter, so how dare he expect that."

I was speechless and dumb, not knowing how to answer. The haziness that once existed has never been revealed.

In fact, I know that the bags of sweet potatoes and peanuts at home before the Chinese New Year were sent by Nansheng, and the handfuls of red sugar cane at the door during the holidays were also sent by Nansheng - even though I studied abroad most of the time, everything was taken over by my parents. .

"Oh, this is fate. Not many children in rural areas have such a hard life as him. They suffered at a young age. The store did well. He could have saved a lot of money, but his mother's health was not good enough and she had three heads. The medicine will be prescribed in five days. His younger brothers and sisters still have to study. I don’t dare to think about relationships or the future." The cousin added that Nan Sheng is a talented person, he is honest and willing to endure hardships, and God should not treat good people badly. .

It was already nine o'clock after dinner at my cousin's new house. It was dark outside the house in the town. I was thinking about how to get back to my aunt's house. At this time, Nan Sheng came on a motorcycle, "I'll take you back."

I was a little hesitant. He walked to the motorcycle and took out a red plastic bag from the back compartment of the car. When he opened the plastic bag, there was a layer of brown paper. When he opened the paper, he found a pair of gloves. Those are the gloves I gave him years ago.

Watching him carefully put on the gloves like a treasure, I felt touched and sad. The simple joy of childhood flooded into my heart.

Jumping in the car, in the wind, it seemed like I was back in time. That happy and innocent time, the cool and pleasant night breeze, and the figure stretched by the moonlight.

"You know, I want to write your story in the future." I tapped his shoulder and looked at his back. This back had carried me countless times when I was a child. He was once so thin and small, but now he is extremely strong and generous.

"What's there to write about?"

"You are the epitome of a generation of rural youth."

"What shadow?"

"No, just focus on the road and ride the bike. I'll tell you when I become a great writer!"

5

Returning to the city where I work, I quickly plunged into the busy life of a journalist. I have less contact with Nansheng. I occasionally chat with my cousins ​​on QQ, and through greetings and gossips with my aunt on holidays, I learn about Nansheng's situation intermittently.

Nan Sheng's mother started helping Nan Sheng seduce his wife a few years ago, but Nan Sheng always said it was not the right time. Because of the question of whether to go on a blind date, the good-tempered Nan Sheng had a big quarrel with his mother and did not go home for several days. Nansheng's mother was so angry that she couldn't get out of bed for a week.

Nansheng had no choice but to give up and start a blind date.

Nan Sheng's mother visited many villages and asked many matchmakers, but the girls in those villages either went to the towns to work early or were already married, so few could take a liking to his family background. Nan Sheng also always does things perfunctorily and ignores the people he is dating.

My cousin said that after a lot of effort, a few villages away, a lame girl took a fancy to Nan Sheng's honesty and willingness to endure hardship. She ran to Nan Sheng's house with pork and chicken for three days and two days, causing Nan Sheng to be troubled. They didn't dare to go home, so they had to lay down on the floor in the shop.

Unexpectedly, less than half a year later, my cousin called me and asked me if I was free to go back to attend the funeral: Nan Sheng's little sister took her brother to play in the water. When she came back, she had a high fever and went to a barefoot doctor for an injection. Later, her brother foamed at the mouth. , disappeared within a week; although the little sister was alive and well, she seemed to be a little slow to react after recovery.

Nan Sheng originally wanted to go to court to sue the barefoot doctor, but the doctor came to the door with his family's bankbook and the whole family. He begged, knelt down, cried, and prayed, "I'm sorry for you, but sue me." I will be sent to prison, and my whole family will also die, can you bear it?"

The doctor said that he must do his best to give Nansheng's brother a decent funeral and save his soul. He also promised that he would never use fake or inferior medicines to treat people again.

My cousin and I attended the funeral. When I saw Nan Sheng that time, I almost didn't dare to recognize him. He has a shaggy beard, dull eyes, and high cheekbones. He seems to have lost more than ten kilograms overnight. He mechanically guides the visitors. His mother is like a walking corpse, sitting blankly in the mourning hall. Who cares about this? She didn't even respond. The girl from the neighboring village who had a crush on Nansheng was busy coming and going, just like a family member.

After the funeral, I saw Nan Sheng under the longan tree in the back hill of the village.

The longan tree is so big that even two people holding hands cannot hold it. Nan Sheng hugged his legs and leaned against the longan tree, resting his chin on his knees and looking into the distance. I know that psychologically, this leg-hugging movement represents injury and helplessness. I walked over and patted him on the shoulder. He looked back at me, his eyes bloodshot, filled with sadness, exhaustion, and a sense of helplessness.

"Nansheng..." I patted his shoulder, but couldn't find any words to comfort him.

Nan Sheng lowered his head, and slowly heard a soft hum. His shoulders trembled slightly, like a wounded trapped animal. After maintaining this state for nearly half an hour, Nan Sheng suddenly stood up and said, "Can I give you a hug?"

Without waiting for my answer, he hugged me tightly, so roughly that it was almost suffocating. But soon, he quickly let me go, "Thank you. I have to go back and see my mother."

By the time I calmed down my breathing, he was already far away at the end of the path in the back mountain.

That was the last time I saw Nan Sheng.

6

Later, my cousin told me that Nansheng’s mother had been in a state of depression since the death of Nansheng’s younger brother. She couldn’t do without the medicine jar every day. Nansheng worked while taking care of his mother and stupid little sister, and most of the money was spent on medicine. . The girl from the neighboring village was very active. She ran to Nansheng's house every day to take care of his mother. Nansheng couldn't persuade her to stop. One time, the girl was helping Nansheng wash clothes by the river. She accidentally lost one of her gloves in the wash. Nansheng had a quarrel with her and didn't go home for several days. He stayed in the shop again.

That time, Nansheng's mother came to her cousin's shop, scolded her son, and threatened him to drink pesticide if he didn't go home. Nansheng had no choice but to move back home.

The girl bought a new pair of red gloves and brought them to the store to find Nan Sheng. The girl said that red represents luck. He has to go out to deliver goods and load goods, so he needs good luck. Red brings peace.

A few years later, my cousin said that Nansheng's mother was in much better health. Nansheng's eldest sister was admitted to a university outside the province and received a poverty alleviation scholarship. Nansheng's financial pressure has also eased.

So, Nan Sheng left his cousin's furniture store and used the little money he saved to rent a small store in the town. He sold vegetables in front of the store and snacks in the store. The business was okay.

Life improved, and Nan Sheng rented a house in the town and brought his mother and little sister from the countryside to live in the town. In the village that once had nearly a hundred households, there were less than thirty households left, and it was deserted.

After working alone for a year, my cousin said that Nansheng expanded the store and rented two storefronts, one selling fruits and vegetables and the other selling groceries. Business is getting more and more prosperous. Soon, his store recovered its investment and began to make a profit.

And my family also started to receive some fresh fruits and vegetables from Nansheng Express.

The cousin said that Nansheng had discussed with her that she wanted her mother and a girl from a neighboring village to look after the store, while she went to the big city to have a look and have a try. But after Nansheng's mother knew what he was thinking, she refused to let Nansheng leave. The girl from the neighboring village also became angry and refused to visit the store. Nansheng and his family had a cold war for two months.

But Nan Sheng did not give in.

But just two weeks before Nansheng was about to leave, his store was burned down. The arsonists were a group of gangsters in the town who were collecting protection money everywhere. Nan was stubborn and refused to pay. The gangsters chose a night when Nan Sheng was not in the store and set a fire. Except for a warehouse off the street, the contents of the two stores were reduced to ashes. The fire cost Nansheng nearly 150,000 yuan.

Nansheng went to the police station and the police filed a record, but they never caught the gangsters. Nansheng wanted to sue those gangsters, but there was no real evidence and the court would not accept the case.

My cousin hurriedly called me and asked: "As a reporter, can you help expose him?" I asked more carefully, what are the names of the gangsters, how old they are, where they usually commit crimes, how often they commit crimes, and are there any other victims? My cousin didn't know anything about it. Through various connections, I contacted the local media, but the other party refused to report it, saying, "It's too minor and negative."

Because he was tracing the cause of the fire and the situation of the gang, Nan Sheng was hooded and beaten by a group of people at night. Nansheng wanted to continue looking for the police, but was stopped by Nansheng's mother and a girl from a neighboring village. My cousin sent me fruits to express my condolences, and I happened to see Nan Sheng’s mother sitting on the ground crying: "Who told you to go to the big city? Go, go, go! This is your root, your life, leave, ancestors You will be punished!"

Nan Sheng also cried: "I have lived for you for more than ten years, why can't I pursue what I want once?"

"What do you want? What do you want? What qualifications do you have to think about it? When I die, I won't be able to control you if you leave, but I'm not dead yet!" Nan Sheng's mother also threatened that if Nan Sheng happens again Just mention it and she will drink the pesticide immediately without any hesitation.

Nansheng couldn't resist his mother and finally stayed at home. He vacated the house in the town and asked his mother to return to the village with only about 20 households left. She opened a small grocery store and grew some vegetables while selling goods. Nansheng himself returned to work in his cousin's furniture store, slowly paying off the debt caused by the fire.

7

Three years later, my cousin came to Guangzhou Chimelong Zoo with her son, and I played with him. My cousin talked about Nan Sheng again. He finally paid off his debts and went back to his hometown to marry the girl from the neighboring village. The marriage was a bit shabby, "It was just a three-dimensional table with only two relatives. Neither I nor he informed me."

After the marriage, Nansheng's wife gave birth to a baby girl, and Nansheng's life seemed to be headed again. While running a grocery store, he drove his motorcycle as a part-time worker in various villages, working hard without complaint, and thinking about building a new house on the old house.

Building a new house requires money. Nansheng's wife heard from a young man who came back from the city that online loans were fast, did not require mortgage, and had low interest rates, so she secretly asked the young man to help with a loan of 50,000 yuan behind Nansheng's back. She also heard from the young man that the more people there were, the lower the loan interest would be, so she roped in her sister for a loan of 50,000 yuan.

Unexpectedly, a month later, the loan lender came to collect the debt, and the young man who collected hundreds of yuan in "handling fees" disappeared. Nansheng's mother was so angry that she became seriously ill again and lay in bed every day unable to get up.

The interest kept piling up, and the money was used in the house and could not be withdrawn. The debt collectors came to the door again and splashed red paint on the door and wall of the house. Nansheng was helpless, but still refused to borrow money until his wife called his cousin's house.

The cousin who had just built a second five-story villa in the town lamented: "How come Nansheng was left behind by this booming development trend of the times? He refused to accept it. God did not favor him, and he did not complain." , fight on your own, work harder than any of us, and work hard without complaining. But in the first half of your life, why have you been slapped hard by reality? What will you do in the second half of your life? "

I am speechless. As a reporter for so many years, I know clearly that Nan Sheng is not the only one left behind by the times.

This is a true story in memory, first published in NetEase's "Human World"

http://renjian.163.com/17/1221/16/D66LPIJ2000181RK.html