The first failure that contains pure joy

⁣04.17.2020

 In the first submission, the irresponsible experience that the No. 1 Middle School Women's High School Joint Literature Award did not have a name

Pain and happiness. ⁣

⁣ Literary prize like a dream passed by like a dream with sunshine at noon, yet so profound. ⁣

⁣ Writing poetry is to challenge myself, or try to understand more about the style I am afraid to face on exam papers, and also to commemorate the waiting and missing since the beginning of last semester. ⁣

⁣ Those feelings that have expired and have been gradually returned and returned, emotions that cannot be expressed, the sour and rotten atmosphere and messages in the chat room, there is nowhere to put them, and they cannot be stuffed into the frame of prose, so they have to be thrown into poetry. , let it ferment over time, hoping that it might turn out something. ⁣

⁣ Maybe it’s like what Mr. Pan Bolin said, I just happened to understand every moment I was writing that I wanted to commemorate this long, silent, insufficient and incapable, and fruitless feeling, so I was shortlisted. ⁣

⁣ Writing poetry for the first time, voting for a literary award for the first time, being shortlisted for the first time, chatting with a writer about my own works for the first time... Too many firsts happen here, I actually want to brew each Impressed at the moment, the original storage allows me to occasionally sip a few sips of unoxidized enthusiasm when I want to get drunk. ⁣

⁣ Although I must admit that I am full of sadness, after all, I have written the story for half a year, especially I think the result can be said to be a fiasco... But when that emotion is blurred by another kind of excitement and tenderness, it turns into a so-called moving color, which has a negative impact on literature. , to the author to comment on the teachers, and the life. Even if you skip a mock test, it's still worth it. Even if it doesn't have a name, it's still worth it. ⁣

⁣ I saw a lot of beautiful poems, read a lot of words and sentences that caught me off guard, and heard very succinct and clear comments (but the judges unexpectedly did not use the sharp words that may appear in the mouths of classmates. very friendly). ⁣

⁣ And important small talk. The conversations the teachers gave at the end redefine and organize my feelings about many literature and creation. It's hard to describe the feeling, it's a bit like repainting some clear, not dazzling, and almost gentle colors on a gray cement wall. ⁣

⁣ The author's conversations that can only be seen through mobile phones in daily life are staged in close proximity, which is satisfying. I also envy those creators whose poems can be read by poets, and I really want to be one of those creators. ⁣

⁣ In short, as an observer, I am very satisfied with the wonderful two hours and the love of creation from so many people. ⁣

⁣ Even if I finally get this result, there is still a soft place where I can store the joyful emotions like winning an award; for the first time, I no longer complain about others, I feel myself and the annoying self, proud and arrogant. I finally shook hands and made peace within my body; I felt that even though the posture of my fall was so ugly, I was willing to stand up and wipe my face without hesitation, and continue to do this thing that I have insisted on for a long time. ⁣

⁣ I want to keep writing, I want to meet more good people and things in the text, I want to thank the whole literary award for lighting me up again.

 ps
   I think Mr. Lin Dayang is really a very gentle evaluation teacher. ⁣
⁣ Full of tenderness, you can clearly feel the teacher's words in comments or small talk, like campfire or winter sunshine, just like his words (kindness or healing I can't choose which one to use). Even if I didn't win the award, I don't feel very sad and have the urge to destroy the world. It really has a lot to do with the teacher's remarks. ⁣
⁣ There is a paragraph that I think is particularly pertinent, and the commentary on literature may be briefly recorded by the way. As a reader, being caught off guard by the inexplicable emotion between the lines is actually the most impressive and moving one. ⁣
⁣ Then I was really happy today that I was able to get the autographs of the teachers. I felt that I started too late and couldn’t ask more questions. I’m really sorry for being shortlisted this time. )⁣