Perth Diary 5025th day, in the name of love, your life belongs to me

In fact, there are many explanations about love in both traditional Eastern culture and Western culture, but philosophy is more general to encourage people to pursue love, including Russell himself, who is also a person who loves to overflowing.

What I gradually figured out is that the yearning and pursuit of love will bring many hardships and setbacks to people, and people can learn the philosophy of life that best suits their own reality from these irreplaceable difficulties in other aspects, and all These philosophies of life ultimately point to the same key:

Human selfishness gives birth to love for oneself, love for oneself enables people to learn to love others, and correct love for others can help people grow themselves, embark on their own happiness, and finally complete the closed loop of selfish love for oneself .

And any way that tries to cover up people's original intention to love themselves first, in the end all life realizations are falsehoods that are divorced from reality and avoid inner cowardice.

When it comes to love, there are too many expressions of love, the love of parents to their children, the love of children to their parents, the love between brothers and sisters, the love between ignorant teenagers, the love between partners, the love outside of marriage, Even the love of one person for another strange being.

When it comes to the expression of love, there are true and false. In the name of love, life kidnaps, depends on, and parasitizes each other.

Even under the conventions of religion, traditional customs and culture, the way of false love is given a moral weapon.

We gradually accept that everything has two sides, a good side and a bad side, but in fact, many seemingly irrefutable sacred words also have two leftward interpretations.

For example, the love between parents and children, when parents give birth to children, whether the life of the children belongs to the parents, whether they should obey the orders of the parents until the parents die, how to treat your own children, whether our children should copy us The way to love parents, if not, where should this chain be broken, from you and me, or from our children, if we don’t, where will our children learn the way to truly love their parents.

If parents' love for their children is possession, then the departure of children will be an education for parents to express their love correctly.

Between lives, there should be no expression of love belonging to each other, and if there is, it is wrong.

If you love someone, if the purpose is to give back, then this person had better learn to love himself correctly first. If the love others give you has a price, do you still want to accept this kind of love? You have to think about yourself What kind of love should be given to others.

I think Western-style love education is closer to the nature of animals. I have heard that young eagles will be pushed out of their nests to learn to fly. I can’t verify whether it is true, but from the perspective of natural evolution, I think this kind of love can be endured. Can stand the test of cruel reality.

Parents prepare as many material conditions as possible for their children, but only delay the time for their children to develop their own wings.

The love between parents and children has been covered in my previous articles, and this is also my practice and personal experience of struggling to break away from the influence of my original family.

The 473rd day of Perth Diary, the great love for others achieves the happiness of the individual itself

After leaving the family of origin, we have the opportunity to start to deal with love, or love, with other same-sex and opposite-sex in the right way.

If the love of parents and children that gives life does not yet have the attribute of mutual possession, let alone those who meet each other halfway along the journey of life.

Whether a marriage contract or even a joint birth of children can give each other the right to restrict each other's freedom, under the constraints of morality and religion, but the restricted desire maintains the stability of each other's form, but reduces the opportunity for individuals to continue to grow .

My view on growth is that although not everyone can, people can and can only grow from mistakes, and making mistakes based on the most primitive desire in the heart also gives people the most profound growth experience.

And whether you can break all the constraints of the world under the domination of your inner desire, you need to be driven by courage. This returns to the definition of individual psychology that courage is the key to happiness. Breaking the constraints of the world may be condemned by everyone around you. , but from the perspective of the growth of life itself, it has positive significance.

Therefore, whether those who establish a partnership relationship have the protection of marriage, they have the power to control each other's lives. If so, such a relationship is undoubtedly the grave of love, and it gradually becomes a helper under a cohabitation relationship that helps each other. .

I think that in the name of love, mutual restrictions and restraints are realized, so many people gradually lose the ability to love again, dare not and no longer believe in love.

The way to love you without restricting you and giving you freedom, I think is the only way that can make all kinds of love relationships grow healthily.

Restriction can only be the restriction imposed by oneself, but it cannot come from the restriction of other lives, because it comes from the expression of life's pursuit of freedom.

Self-restraint, but it cannot be a weapon to restrain others, is the way of selfless love.

People can love themselves selfishly, but they cannot love others selfishly, because this expression of restricting others is no longer love, but the desire to dominate and possess.

On the road of selfish love for oneself and selfless love for others, one always maintains the yearning for love, adding countless difficulties to one's own life process, and these difficulties also breed opportunities for life's own growth.

So all these loves have contributed to the growth of the individual, and the growth has not disappeared because of the departure of other lives, and finally achieved the road to happiness of the individual itself.

But no matter selfish love for yourself or selfless love for others, both involve the correct method or not. Selfish love for yourself requires self-discipline and restraint. Selfless love for others is always in the way of helping the other party to grow, but not trying to possess or restrict the other party. , Self-promotion to obtain more ways of growth, in order to maintain the stability of the relationship and mutual attraction for a long time, I think it is also a true expression of the cruelty of reality.

I think this is also the reason why the expression of love in many philosophical thoughts is more to encourage people to pursue love, and love can give people growth, but there is no reason for any restrictive expression of love.

The yearning for love in an ideal form gives people real setbacks, but it also gives people opportunities for growth. Love that considers real conditions is not love, but a compromise under realism under the cloak of love.

In the name of love, I don't want to possess you, but I want you to be free and happy.