[November Archives] Written after getting used to it

Anonymous sophomore

11.11

I was disturbed by the sound of police cars early this morning, and then received the news that the school announced the suspension of classes.

The police entered the school and fired tear gas in the graduate student dormitory. I watched the live broadcast, one shot, one shot, and another shot.

I couldn't sit still in the dormitory, so I went to Bridge No. 2 with my friends. We deliberately didn't wear black clothes, but we brought our Hong Kong ID cards. Students on the front line use umbrellas as shields. Umbrellas have been a symbol since 2014, but is it really useful? Can it be used as solid armor? Suddenly something burned and there was gunfire.

Sitting in the room all afternoon watching the live broadcast, two students were shot, and four people were taken away by the police. Suddenly, various telegram groups were spreading the news that the police were going to search the dormitory. Everyone was very nervous, but it was later proved that this was false.

It was hard to be alone, so I watched the live broadcast of No. 2 Bridge with my friends, as well as Lin Zheng’s press conference at 6 p.m., but I couldn’t help but turn it off after watching it for less than five minutes. The friend went back to the dormitory and closed the windows, because their dormitory was facing the No. 2 bridge, so as to prevent the smoke from tear gas from drifting in through the windows.

11.12

Second day of suspension.

Get up in the morning, turn on your phone, and the screen is full of news of the explosion. The police stayed at the No. 2 bridge all night, and then started to advance again after 7 o'clock. The demonstrators resisted and released tear gas. The moment I saw these news, I felt a little dizzy, that is, the feeling of "ah, I have to live like this again".

After reading the news, it was noon before I knew it. I ate at MC at noon. I waited in line for a long time, and finally spent 34hkd to get a small plate of dark fried rice noodles, and suddenly collapsed.

At noon, I went to Baijia with W to buy some water and biscuits, and I wanted to give them to passing students to help take them to the front. We debated for a long time whether to use Mandarin or Cantonese, and finally spoke Mandarin. The boy looked at us with a look of surprise, and then said, "Thank you", thinking to himself, "At least I did something."

Afterwards, W and I went to the MC rooftop, intending to take a look at the situation on the No. 2 bridge. There were also a few foreigners, and one of them even took a telescope. There was no movement for a while, but suddenly the police started to release tear gas, one after another, and the entire Xia Dingji playground was immediately enveloped in gray smoke. Smoke floated over, eyes became painful, cheeks were hot, and after a while, he coughed and couldn't breathe. We ran to MC's café, everyone's face was very red, and then we went to Shan Heng G's bathroom to wash our face, and saw red bloodshot eyes in our eyes.

On the way back to the dormitory, there were many people transporting supplies and prying bricks on the pavement, all in a state of "preparation for war".

When I opened WeChat, I saw that most of the mainland students in the circle of friends seemed to have "fleeed" and left. Most of them went to Shenzhen, and many of them flew home directly.

11.13

I didn’t fall asleep until four o’clock last night. I was woken up by a call from my mother at nine o’clock this morning, saying, “Your aunt almost cried and called me to say that your school burned to the top of the mountain. Do you want to come back?” Only then did I realize that it was because of the report by the Global Times, which described the mainland students as if they were being hunted down. Then I explained the current situation to her, and then persuaded her to stay in CUHK.

Replying to concerned messages from friends from all over the world until noon, the hand that pressed the phone almost broke. Suddenly realized that now it is like a war, and the students who keep fleeing are seeking for asylum.

When I saw smoke rising from University Station, I found out later that it was the demonstrators who lit the train... Thick black smoke floated over the Harting Kee Stadium, and the Telegram said that there was a helicopter hovering over it, which was unreal.

My American roommate asked me if I would accept an informal interview that a friend of hers from the journalism department wanted, and I said yes. He is a very polite and well-bred black boy. He came to our dormitory to chat with me about China. I had accepted several interviews before, and suddenly realized that I would be labeled as "Hong Kong's awakened mainland student". This label always attracts the attention of others, like North Korean defectors. He's polite and nice, but I still don't like it from the bottom of my heart when people see me like that. The word Awakened is uncomfortable enough.

At noon, I made a phone call with my high school friends and cried for a long time. I felt that I had accumulated a lot of pressure during this period, and I vented it out in front of them. The positions of the three of us have always been very different (but I really hate the word "position" now), but that day my friend told me very seriously, "I don't care if you believe in fascism now, I just want you to be safe."

The school's cafeteria and supplies are running low, and roommates go to the university gymnasium to pick up food at noon. "It's like an earthquake," she said.

I had to take the IELTS test on Friday and Saturday, but it seems that it has been ruined.

The school informs that the semester is over. My friend seriously asked me if I wanted to stay, and I said I don't know, I want to stay, but I don't know what's the point of staying.

In the past few days, the dean and some teachers of the college have been staying in the college every night, so that students can talk to them at any time if they need it. I wanted to look for them in the afternoon, but when I got to the door, I was suddenly scared and didn't dare to go in, so I called W out to chat. At that time, Xinya was empty and cold, and it seemed to be two worlds from the mountain. We were discussing whether to go or not, and finally decided to leave.

A day with the most swearing.

When going down the mountain, I found that the surveillance camera of the LSK elevator was stuck with a sanitary napkin.

The inside of LSK has completely become a material station. All kinds of materials are piled up in a mess, just like a battlefield. When crossing the road, I heard a shout of "Excuse me! Be careful!", and the next second the school minibus passed in front of me. It was students from CUHK driving, and the bus was covered with slogans drawn in black paint.

We met a few white girls standing on the side of the road. We talked to them and learned that they were exchange students. We told them that it is very dangerous now, that the conflict will break out, and it is best to leave early. They said, It's ok, never mind. Walking past the Shan Heng minibus stop, I saw a faint fire, very dazzling in the dark night.

A little hasty to leave. I could only take a few clothes, a computer, a SLR camera, and valuables.

So she didn't have time to say goodbye to her roommate. She found a fusion ticket in a hurry, wrote some messages on the back for me, and then gave me the poster of her favorite Korean star. I gave one of mine. The doll was given to her, and we hugged and parted. Thinking that she will return to the United States tomorrow, we may never see each other again in my life, and it is a bit sad to say goodbye in this way.

Gather with fellow students and walk to District 39 together. This journey is really long. On the way, I send a message to the professor who has a good relationship with me to say goodbye. He said, hurry up, "CUHK is very dangerous, it will definitely be cleared, pay attention to safety." It was like fleeing, so embarrassed. The alumni drove us to Shenzhen Huanggang Port in a private car. No one spoke a word along the way. Looking at the lights circulating outside the window, this place suddenly became very strange.

After getting off the bus, thank the alumni, get on the bus, and pass the customs. I forgot to delete Facebook, WhatsApp, and Telegram on my phone, and the photos were not cleaned up. Fortunately, they were not checked. After passing the customs, everyone dispersed. I was very confused standing at the port, and I received a message from my friend S, who asked me to go to her place.

S waited for me until three o'clock in the morning, and we hugged each other as soon as we saw her, we couldn't help crying.

11.14

Stayed at S for one night and went to meet other friends the next day. We made an appointment to meet at the shopping mall. There was a set of protective equipment at the entrance of the shopping mall, with the words "riot police" written on the shield, and my heart tightened.

Walking in a shopping mall full of material desires is like stepping on clouds.

When I saw a large group of students who had just arrived, some of them left after eating, and there were only three of them left. A friend doesn't speak, then bursts into tears.

I took the bus home in the afternoon, wobbling for three hours, waking up and sleeping and waking up again. In the evening, I received a message from the teacher of Daying and the teacher of the professional course, asking if I returned to the mainland safely.

The testing ground of humanity. Some people pick me up to rest at three o'clock in the middle of the night; some people keep bombarding me with news every day, "Where are you safe? Is there food?"; some people say "I don't care if you believe in fascism, as long as you are safe"; Shouting "No matter what, I will take this car."; someone broke up with me. After this time, the remaining friends are all I want to cherish for the rest of my life.

I talked with my family for a long time in the evening. He talked a lot and was asked a lot. How can there be so much suffering in the world? It's so heavy I can't really bear it.

11.16

The past few days have been unreal, spent most of the time in bed, but only sleeping an average of four or five hours a day. Either watching the live broadcast, or staring at the ceiling, not knowing what to do, empty and confused. I don't have the strength and don't want to turn on the computer to prepare for IELTS or do research. I don't know what the meaning is.

I remember W said, "In the past, during the earthquake, I didn't want to get up and continued to sleep, so now there are countless gunshots."

When everything today has become commonplace, the world seems absurd.

Finish.