The power to change your mind: Don't be kidnapped by thoughts, choose your life, and let your mind be free
let it go! Stop dwelling on the pain of the past!
Forget it! Think another way to make you feel better!
These words always appear in our ears, and sometimes spit out from our own mouths, but how can it be so easy to let go and turn around? All people who are emotionally distressed not only need company and talk, but also need someone to guide how to get out of the emotional storm, and to be able to quickly escape the next time they meet, and this book is such an important existence.
🐤 Negative emotions or thoughts are an important indicator for regulating body and mind
Most people think that negative emotions are bad and should be eliminated, but the author tells us that when negative emotions or thoughts come, it is an opportunity for us to detect, clarify, and adjust, so we should not ignore them, but make good use of them. Emotions to find the source of the problem.
🐤 Empathy is not the same as empathy
In recent years, we have often heard the words "empathy" when we hear that people want to empathize with others. In fact, empathy is to change the position of the other party, but if it was originally in our own position, there would be no empathy. Heart, will it be possible to change to someone else's position? The author reminds us in the book that if we don’t treat ourselves kindly and empathize with ourselves first, plus some self-righteous characters and specious ideas, it may be a tragedy after empathy.
I think it is worth thinking about this point of view, and think carefully about whether there are often disputes in your life that people who make fun of others are blamed for lack of empathy, and the response is: "You can also make fun of me, I don't What's going to happen!" On the surface, a person who seems to be a joker seems to be open-minded and can withstand other people's jokes, but in a way, does it also mean that he allows others to trample his self-esteem at will? When a person does not treat himself well first, he naturally does not think that others should protest that he has been violated , so empathy is not the same as empathy.
🐤 Faith controls life
The "change of mind" mentioned in this book is not to change the facts, nor to change the emotion, but simply to change the "thought" , and the thought is good or bad , as long as it makes you feel pain or trouble, then you need to change your mind. It is necessary to consider whether the information of beliefs is reliable, whether it conforms to social values, and moral viewpoints . I think this point needs to be deliberately emphasized in the book, especially for people like me who have a sense of justice and morality. A lot of the pain comes from the fact that we hold on to these beliefs too much and never think that we can convert them, and because we want to conform to certain values in our hearts to break the framework of self-imposed limitations, so please make sure before entering the course of change. Let go of these insistences first.
"The thing itself is neutral, it's the way we interpret it that determines our emotions," the authors said.
🐤 Thoughts are just thoughts, not the reality of our lives
The author tells us that thoughts are just projections of the present moment, and although they are real, they are not necessarily trustworthy . Such an argument is interesting and almost overturns our pre-existing perceptions, but when you think about it, the thoughts that pop up in our minds from time to time are inferences we make based on our own feelings, but is this really the case? Maybe we have never thought about questioning this thought, so we are naturally trapped in this thought and cannot find a solution, so before we change our minds, we must have enough courage to question whether our thoughts are true or not, and we must also be able to accept them. Thoughts do not represent the truth.
🐤 To change habits, practice with awareness and awareness
I believe that most people have heard the saying that "character determines fate". It is true that some people are more difficult to change their thoughts, and even have a firm will to their own thoughts that cannot be defended. If these thoughts don't make them feel painful There is no need to change your mind, but if it affects your emotions and makes your life troubled, you should be aware of it and improve it. Some people are easy to accept new knowledge and concepts, and they will learn to change their minds quickly, but do not believe that habits are indestructible . As long as you have the will and find an effective method, you can still solve the problem of being manipulated by thoughts after a period of practice.
🐤 Change your mind not to solve the problem for others, but yourself
Some people say that if you change your mind, you will make others cheaper, but instead let that person get cheap and be good. The person who should change your mind is right, how can it be me?
The above questions go back to what I said earlier. That person is not bothered, but we are emotionally affected by the other person and we are exhausted physically and mentally. Who should change our minds? I believe the answer is obvious.
The author said: "Our criticism of others is all about ourselves. It seems that we are trying to solve the problem for others. In fact, it is ourselves who are really solving the problem."
“When we criticize others, we also set a frame for ourselves. When we criticize others, we are also criticizing ourselves, because we also limit ourselves.”
Do you feel like you are drinking in the head? When we think others are stubborn, are we also stubborn? When we think that others "should not" be like this, it is because we set ourselves such a standard, so we also demand other people with the same standard, but do we really "shouldn't" or "can't"? Recalling the above mentioned not to consider whether the information of belief is reliable, whether it conforms to social values, and moral viewpoints , we will find that many things we think are inappropriate, objectively speaking, there is nothing wrong, but we are given by our own thoughts. Just tied up!
🐤 The important force behind the change of mind is "choice"
I like this sentence of the author very much, so I use it as a key point to share. The reason why we open this book is a kind of "choice". We want to grow our thinking, and we also want us to suffer less from tangled thoughts, so in the process of practicing mind change, we must "Choose" the material, and make the "choice" that is most beneficial to you after practice, so that you can really improve your life.
The author said: "Happiness is not something that is pursued, it is something that is practiced."
The title of this book seems to be understood by everyone. In fact, many arguments are turning our old thinking. It turns out that changing our minds is not just thinking from a different angle, but a process from questioning, reflection to inversion . The book is detailed and detailed. The steps to teach readers how to change their minds can be described as a process of first carrying out a great revolution in the mind and then re-shuffling and analyzing the cards. It is very worthwhile for everyone to understand and learn together.
Finally, I would like to thank the author, Teacher Lai Peixia, for introducing this set of steps to change their minds. I believe that many people who are deeply in the emotional quagmire can see the light of day.
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