True forgiveness comes from the seeds of compassion for yourself

Being hurt is always difficult to forgive, it is difficult to forgive the other party, and sometimes it is difficult to forgive yourself how you can forgive the other party.
The hurt is always unforgettable, the guilt of hurting others is unforgettable, and the inner contradictions of hurting oneself are unforgettable.

Therefore, hurting and being hurt are actually acts of inability to be compassionate to oneself and others.

Perhaps, we may feel that compassion is a great thing. For example, unconditional love, these five words may seem like a fantasy.
Or, perhaps, we may feel that compassion seems to be something that requires a high level of ability. For example, the same body and great compassion, these four words may be difficult to understand.

However, how to get rid of hurt and hurt memories, and how to achieve <true forgiveness>, actually comes from being compassionate to oneself before it can be done.

Forgiveness is so hard, if the other person hurts us.

Yes, in terms of events, forgiveness is indeed not an easy thing, especially, when we are the victims, it will be difficult for us to let go of the current situation, memories, and events that have been hurt. As long as some external factor is related to the event that we were hurt, our memory will be immediately evoked, just like the movie will rewind in the mind again, and then you will find that in the course of our life, such rewinding The situation is, in fact, repeated over and over again.

So, how to forgive?
You have to start with truly empathizing with yourself and understanding yourself, and then go to the end of empathizing and understanding the other side.
Whether we are the one who hurts or the one who is hurt, we must first learn to be compassionate to ourselves.

Sometimes we can't let go of this injury because we don't accept that we've actually been hurt.
When we don't accept that we are hurt by love, love, people, things, and everything we can think of, we naturally won't accept that our hearts are hurt.

So your broken heart is ignored.
When the wounded heart is ignored, people will naturally have a defense mechanism, telling themselves that I am strong and I am invincible. But in fact, maybe our hearts are already fragile like a paper doll.
What's more, in fact, because of this injury, we may be desperate for someone in this world to see our hurt heart, understand our hurt feelings, and then give ourselves a hug and comfort.

But what about when there is no such person?
Can you honestly admit to yourself that I am hurt? Can you admit that you actually need love to take care of your injured self?

This recognition is actually a seed of compassion.

Being compassionate to yourself means being able to truly understand your inner feelings,
Be able to deeply understand your own heart, be able to feel your current state, emotions, feelings.

Being compassionate to yourself means being able to accept and admit that your heart is really hurt.
Because not admitting it is actually another way of being cruel to yourself.
In other words, it is not loving oneself; not loving oneself is a typical manifestation of not being compassionate to oneself.

Therefore, being compassionate to oneself is actually not difficult, it is just being able to truly acknowledge one's current state, one's vulnerability, one's need for love, and one's own injury.
Then, you can understand what it means to be compassionate to others.

When you can acknowledge your feelings, you can understand the messages, the teachings, and the unpleasantness or pain that those feelings bring to you.

When you project it on the other party, you can also empathize with the other party's pain faster, and you can understand why the other party hurts yourself or others more quickly.

Just imagine, when we are in pain, do we often have many thoughts of attacking or hurting ourselves? Are these actions or thoughts because we really want to get out of some painful state?
Is it because we also want someone to know what's wrong with us, but no one knows, so we're frustrated and angry?

So when the other party attacks, or when the other party does something that hurts him, it is because his heart is hurt, and because of his heart, no one can understand.
So there is a lot of hope that someone will understand and someone will understand his actions.

When you can understand your own heart, you will empathize with yourself, and then you will know the way to make yourself comfortable, that is, be good to yourself, be compassionate to yourself, and let yourself be more relaxed in this state;

When you can understand the other person's heart, you can empathize with the other person, and then you will know that the way to stop yourself from remembering the various pains the other person inflicts on us is to let go of these memories.

And being determined to let go of these memories is a fundamental way to forgive yourself for always entangled in these memories, and at the same time, it is also a big leap to forgive the other party for making these memories that make you tangled and painful;

Because, when you truly empathize with the other person, you can let go of many past events, whether they were hurt or hurt, and then you can start to walk in the direction of forgiveness step by step.

Therefore, every letting go has planted a seed of compassion in our hearts.
The more you let go, the more comfortable and compassionate you become.
And when you allow yourself to let go of these memories, the more you can talk about these pasts and you no longer struggle with pain, you truly forgive.
Therefore, in order to be able to achieve true forgiveness, it actually begins with compassion for ourselves.

When we can be compassionate to ourselves, we can see our highest soul essence - kindness, so you can understand yourself and forgive all aspects of yourself;
And when we can empathize with the other person, whether the other person's behavior is good or bad, and you can also see the highest soul essence of the other person - kindness, understanding the other person, understanding all aspects of the other person, then true forgiveness will happen.

Maybe we can’t forgive the hurt or things the other person has done for us for a while, but we can be kinder to ourselves first, be compassionate to ourselves first, and let ourselves let go of the memories of events that make us tangled.

When you get used to letting go of those entanglements and let go more and more, you will find that maybe one day, when you talk about each other again, you will mention it lightly, you will talk about the past with a smile, and you will be grateful Everything, thank you for going through this experience, thank you for learning what true forgiveness is and what true compassion is.

This is a life subject that everyone will encounter in the river of life, and it is also a compulsory credit.
So, looking back first,
how compassionate we are to ourselves,
How many past memories do we allow ourselves to let go?
We will know how far we are from true forgiveness.