Discussion Lessons | The Road Less Traveled: A Journey to Mental Maturity

The first time I came into contact with this book was on December 17, 2019, when I participated in the " dialogue reading "

At that time, it was the 4th time that I participated in this activity. The first 3 times were because I participated in the discussion of "investment and financial management" books. Just absorbing the knowledgeable materials given by the "leader" has already made me very happy. There are obstacles, let alone the writing of discussions after the meeting.

Recently, because I was sorting out the computer, I reopened this discussion experience after I sorted it out, and it was like re-reading this book, so I would like to share it with you who have the chance to read this article and want to live out the self-worth of life.

A little digression here, because I am really not good at books in the "financial field", but after participating in the "dialogue reading" held by Jiaqingjun, I really have a different harvest in this field, okay It is a pity that the related activities in Tainan District have been suspended. Otherwise, I really want to continue to participate. The amount of gold knowledge in just three hours is beyond expectations, but this may also mean: "There are no shortcuts to learning, and the rhythm of reading still has to rely on Enjoy it slowly and carefully.”

-------------The following officially enters【Discussion experience】

Rethinking it seriously, the conversation 3 hours later, the most impressive thing is still the question at the beginning

"Have you ever lied?" or "When was the last time you lied?"

This opening question made me delay for 5 seconds.... and asked, "Then... what is the definition of a lie?" In this way, we discussed the "black and white lie" first, and then further derived the author's idea.

<Self-discipline_The first rule>

"maintain balance"

You can't lie under any circumstances, but to tell the truth, you have to consider many levels

To be a mature person you need to do

→ 1. Be able to understand the other person's "mood"

→ 2. Check if the other person is "ready to accept the truth"

When the above two items are met, you can say "the situation you feel" and "what you want to convey to the other party", rather than just wishful thinking as in the past.

During the discussion, I also realized that the biggest lie in the world is "liaring to myself" , but when I heard this conclusion, I found that the most common thing to do in daily life is "deceiving myself"

Frankly speaking, I don’t know when I started wearing a mask every day for a long time, and I didn’t even have a good look at myself behind the mask.

Unexpectedly, the following discussion topic also extended to "What kind of people do you think would want to see a counselor?"

I was horrified right now, but that's exactly what I was facing at the time

→ For a while: "I've been struggling inside"
→ I don't know if there is a problem with "my mental state" → But there are some things: "I have been hiding in my heart" I can't figure it out

But through the conversation, I discussed the turning point of my own experience, and I seem to be more sure that I am actually "lying to myself" in every "moment", and it is precisely because I have not learned "how to get along with myself".

→ That's why: "Wandering" don't know where to go?
→ Easier: "stimulated" and "influenced" by external factors, resulting in "uneasy mood"

Ever since I heard that "eyes are the window to the soul" , I have always believed that "when people get along with each other, you can see the true thoughts of each other through their eyes."

In life, it is constantly used as the basis for experiments, and it has been tried and tested. But sometimes in retrospect, I don’t seem to treat myself this way. Now, if I were to use this method to honestly face myself in the mirror every day, what would it be like?

Oh my God! It's really hard to imagine, and I'm also a little afraid to do such an experiment. Why is it afraid? It should be because I'm afraid that I don't have the courage to face the true appearance of the naked body and mind.

Amazingly, after answering this question, I started to think, should I see a "psychologist" or a "psychiatry " ? Or what I need is actually "give yourself some time to re-examine how to get along with yourself"

After the whole event, I seemed to find out "I need to change and what is the direction to move forward", but I have tried the medicine prescribed by the doctor (the diagnosis was autonomic nervous disorder at the time), and I also experienced rejection during the medication (similar to : The state where the body is "forced to shut down"), although I regret this decision, I am also glad that I had the opportunity to listen to the voice of my body and stop taking the medicine.

Later, I found out that it was a tug-of-war with my body "Should I choose to believe in myself?" or "Follow professional advice?"

I thought: maybe through
1. Have a real conversation with yourself.
2. Make a complete record <br class="smart"> to have a chance to get the real answer!

I don't know if this counts as a way to correct the mental map?

Summary and extension <br class="smart">Through the author's point of view, it seems that I am gradually revising my mental map. It turns out that the effort and effort required to become a mature person is really beyond ordinary people's imagination, and it is no wonder that this is A road less traveled.

In this book, the three main cores, "self-discipline", "love" and "religion", actually seem to be independent of each other, but in fact they are interlinked.

〒 Four elements of self-discipline

(1) Maintaining Balance No matter what the situation is, you must learn how to keep yourself balanced. Everything is one and two sides. A state of comfort and balance.

(2) Facing the truth Facing the truth honestly, there is no difficulty in the imagination, but we are always afraid of accepting the truth and choose to escape. Facing it bravely can completely eliminate the crisis situation.

(3) Taking responsibility After facing the truth, it is another matter whether there is a way to take responsibility. Perhaps in many cases, one will choose to pass the responsibility on to others, but in retrospect, many times an event occurs. It is caused by many factors, and learning to take responsibility for it is also a manifestation of self-discipline.

(4) Delayed gratification If you are unwilling to spend more time, how do you get to the moment of success? Often times, you will be satisfied by the "easy feeling", but forget that this easy-to-get happiness may be at your fingertips at any time. All will disappear, and what is too easy to get will never be cherished. Only by accumulating and building it bit by bit, can you see the results through the extension of time.

〒「Love」is「willingness to expand oneself for the growth of oneself and others」

What is the expression of love? The author mentions three major points to support the so-called "love".

(1) Listening can be divided into several types, but if you truly achieve "selective listening" or "concentration", then you can truly hear what the other party wants to express and give the other party the support they need.

(2) The biggest key to investment is on the basis of "trust". If there is no trust, it will be difficult to continue. Moreover, after investment, there will definitely be "criticism conflicts". Directional thinking "starting point" and "constructive".

(3) Choice For love, we must make choices. Under limited time and space, we can only give love to one person or a few people. Where should we place our love, who should we give, and how much we should give? All these are needed. Only through choice can a decision be made. Once you choose one side, you must have the psychological expectation of bearing the relative result.

〒"Religion" is "view on this world"

This is the first time I have heard this definition, and I think it describes it very well. In daily life, one can often hear a certain religion. It seems that one must respect the so-called dogma to be a true believer. Through the author's definition, it makes sense in many situations, and it will not be bound by formal and academic constraints. It turns out that "religion" is such a thing, and even "miracle" makes sense. There is no such thing as a monstrous being.

feedback

First of all, I would like to thank Jiaqing Jun for preparing every conversational reading with great care. This participation is different from simply understanding knowledge in the past. You can also echo each other through personal experience, and the harvest is more than originally imagined. more.

After participating in a few games, I found that chatting can indeed shorten the time to acquire knowledge, but if you don't do the compilation in real time, you may forget the gains of the current discussion after a few days, which is a pity. This time, I also tried to semi-force myself to practice feedback and write my discussion experience. I also learned that there is no difficulty in my imagination. Maybe it takes more time to organize at the beginning, but at the same time, it has been proved that the content of this discussion is

There is nothing that cannot be done, only the difference between willingness to spend time to do it or not.

I also accidentally noticed that after I left school, I wasted my ability to rearrange and compile the data. Through this activity, I felt very good to know what direction I still need to work on. I like this summary with "Entropy". To describe it, it turns out that "growing up" is a journey full of "responsibility" and "loneliness" .

Although I still can't see the end of the future, I still feel hesitant about the road to go, and I am even fighting with my body now. Because it is different from normal people's work and rest time, even the doctor thinks that it needs to be treated with medicine. Adjustment, but for me, who is currently writing this article, I feel that it is not so important to adjust to a normal routine. As long as I can maintain basic health and not get sick, what about being different from others?

After participating in this conversational reading, I set myself a small goal: "Every day in the future, at least before going to bed, I should use the most real eyes to communicate honestly with myself, and listen to the inner voice. "

Because I always ask others for energy and advice, not only will I fail to learn to grow, but I will also lose my balance.

postscript

After discussing this book, I learned that the purpose of "love" and "marriage" may be to find someone who has "independent space" and a "mature and trusted partner" who can "work together to face each other" A problem for the rest of my life", a sense of freedom and happiness that can be enjoyed without making any special changes

In order to know my original appearance, since then, I have started to take time to look at myself every day. I never thought... When I look at myself sincerely, the feelings it brings are so rich, and gradually I realize that

Being a person who is "the same on the outside" is so comfortable and so at ease. Finally, thank you for being in front of the screen. After reading this with patience, I wish you all the best and peace, and cherish the moment together. If you happen to read this book, you are welcome. Leave a message to share and communicate :)