friendship

Reflecting on the difference between this hastily ended "friendship" and the previous one. The cause is always the same, I have been bombarding each other indiscriminately, with a desire to talk without knowing the boundaries. This is probably a taboo in foreign countries.

Everything went to the end of destruction. Maybe the stories that happened to me are always like this, and that's what makes sense. I'm always waiting for someone else to say that cruel thing. Happy date? nonexistent. Everything gets ugly.

I'm always screwing up everything. why me. Why am I so unlucky, so incapable of speaking, and so incapable of respecting human boundaries. I tried and failed.

Even though the psychotherapist kept trying to persuade me to use mindfulness to see the full picture of events - it was just two people's styles that didn't fit. But the number of times it is inappropriate is also self-doubt. Am I not suitable for lovers and loving friends?

Why am I always bombarding people with information. There are always endless forced embarrassing words.

I don't know. never understand. Is there something wrong with my family of origin, or am I experiencing something twisting me.

Maybe not all normal looking people deserve to be loved. I don't deserve it. (Although not equal to the other is worth it)

I am also tired. The distaste for her has been there since the date and the feeling of worrying about gain and loss is not what I want. When I think of the friendship events that can happen in the Netherlands that we will never meet, I can only feel that we are familiar with each other again and again. It happened once in Canada, and it is still here.

When people are sad, they don't want to eat at all. Only those who can cry and eat can live. Faced with a mountain of homework and tasks, I think I'll probably just keep on doing it while crying.

Those heartless words are all in my heart. She was already very good, but in the end it drained our friendship. Some people are probably only born to date or be strangers, and now there is a prefix, strangers who hate each other. I have always hated and loved people close to me. That's probably a form of female friendship, too. It's not romantic, it's tit for tat. Or we are so similar and opposite that we end up never seeing each other.

Always here is an adverb of degree, not an adverb of time.

If possible, I would like to exchange for a permanent friendship. How many people are willing to go back to those emotions that were once tiresome and hateful.

PS: I won't crash, my kernel is hard enough and knows what it wants. But the providence of God keeps reminding me time and time again not to deviate from the track. I had no way out for a long time, so there was no mention of any suffering. The fading of friendship is then nothing, before those grand political tribulations. We're just heading in the right direction towards the end. If this is a good dream, wake up before it turns into a nightmare.