"Talk about her"｜My imagination of the feminist community

Q1: Please introduce yourself!

I am naked.

Last fall, I explained in an article why I wanted to name myself in Matt City Nakedko.

 Naked, naked, easily associated with sex or taboo.
Born naked is an attempt to resist sexualized/objectified nudity.
Naked, if you imagine "I" as a woody plant, it implies that there is a wound in my body that cannot be healed.

In addition to being naked, I have also been an active member of the Discord communities of Matters Lab and The Space, where I am Chi.

I am also a sexual assault survivor and have been working with a counselor once a month for about two years.

I like sex and are very interested in any sex-related topics, whether it is sex workers, sexual pleasure, sexual power relations, comprehensive sex education , sexual assault/sexual harassment issues, etc.; and the source of all these interests comes from ——My experience of being a sexual assault victim.

I once had a hookup experience, which I call an "experiment" caused by pain ; because of these experiences, I realized that what my injured self longed for was not entirely a physical relationship that could bring sexual pleasure. More important than that is stable emotional support in a close relationship. Therefore, in addition to sex-related topics, I am also very interested in various types of (intimate) relationships!

I don’t plan to get married or have children, but I am happy to get along with the younger generation and learn from each other: )

Q2: When did you realize the importance of women’s issues?

For me at this stage, awareness of the importance of women’s issues can be divided into two levels.

One is hazy and inserted, stemming from watching the hard work of motherhood in my native family life, and the various requirements, expectations and advice accumulated from my childhood from the elders around me as a "female", whether it is I was asked to be careful when going out late at night, not to wear a miniskirt, to learn how to cook before anyone asks for it, to sit properly, not to talk back, etc., etc., etc., "the family is too rich to prepare" - and the names of female ancestors cannot be written with the name of the god. cards, although the main ritual laborers were often "outsiders" who married in.

The second level occurs when after realizing that one has been sexually assaulted, one feels intense pain and confusion, and therefore wants to have a deeper understanding of sexual and emotional relationships as a cisgender woman; however, in the process of exploration, However, I discovered that my deep-rooted potential habits were contrary to the feminist values ​​​​that I recognized in my head, so I realized that this might be a lifelong dialogue and exercise.

To me, the first level is more like lashing out with anger; the second level is closer to realizing the issues hidden in oneself through interaction with others, and at the same time using love and The language of acceptance is the process of returning the focus to "me".

Q3: Women’s communities that I have joined so far and my thoughts on them

Not quite sure what the definition of a female community is here. Almost all of my closest friends are cisgender women or members of the LGBTQ+ community, but there is no solid connection between them. At most, they have an online conversation group where we occasionally share their daily routines; with friends In-depth conversations, whether online or offline, almost occur in one-on-one situations and rarely occur in the form of social groups.

However, a few years ago, I organized a "short-lived" small reading group in my hometown. Although the group was not entirely female, there were one or two discussions on women's issues. Although I could not completely speak freely during the process, there were occasional discussions because of Moments that resonate with similar life experiences are precious and healing experiences.

Q4: Want to join "Left and Right Talk About Her"?

After the short-lived reading club mentioned above went dormant for a while, I tried to start another offline women's community. I mainly wanted to explore topics that are considered taboo by most people or are not easy to talk about, such as menstruation, lust, and society. The censorship of (female) bodies, nudity, sexual violence, etc. in group media; however, due to the deterioration of my mental health at that time, I lost the energy to go out and interact with people, and started writing in Matters instead.

I saw the appearance of "Left and Left Talk Her" a while ago, and the little fire in my heart was ignited again, but at the same time I was worried about whether my three-minute hot personality would become the person who ran away after drawing the cake (ha).

Q5: Are there any women’s issues that you particularly want to talk about but can’t find the space for?

I think that as long as it is a topic that ordinary people think is not easy to talk about (such as the ones I mentioned in Q4), I want to try to build a safe space to discuss it with my partners; but at the same time, I also understand that even though we are both " "Women", everyone's growth experience is different, so the range of acceptable topics is also different. Therefore, I think that before deciding what topic to discuss, the more important first step may be to understand what the boundaries are. For example, I personally am not very comfortable with talking about sexual violence at a high intensity. If I feel How can I safely mention it to my partner when I feel uncomfortable?

Q6: How do you currently practice attention and action on women’s issues?

The most significant action in my life in the past six months is probably to participate in many workshops, exhibitions and performances related to feminism issues, and then seize the opportunity to communicate with others during the activities; relatively small and daily actions, one is Reading, and secondly, when communicating with others, in addition to directly raising my confusion, I also practice observing the power relationship in the words or actions of myself and others. For example, when I interact with a heterosexual man, do I feel like the relationship is stuck in a heterosexual script, or am I able to interact with him comfortably and equally?

But recently, I have realized that my mind is limited, so for me, the more important basis is to start from observing my own feelings - as a cisgender female individual, how did I feel during this incident, and whether I suppressed my feelings. Feelings etc.

Q7: Is there anything you want to say or resonate with other members?

Hmmm not yet because I'm not a member yet. (I'm too lazy to answer)

But I am very grateful to the members who initiated it. I think this is a great action. No matter how far we go, we have at least walked a part of the way together. I am also looking forward to this journey, whether I will be a bystander or a participant.

Q8: What are your thoughts on the future of " @leftsayher"

Having your own private community allows you to express your thoughts safely and safely, but at the same time, you can also speak out to the public, gently and firmly, whether in writing or in other forms.