【Miscellaneous】【Prose】Eternal

I translated Swift's <evermore>, and there is a sentence in it: "That this pain would be for evermore. The pain will last forever." A piece of snow fell quietly in a foreign land, and the scar is always there.

What is eternity? Is there really eternity?

***

What is eternal in me? Or what eternal things have I seen? I started to think.

For a melancholic, depression is eternal, and the feeling has no end. It does not mean that there is no light at all, but that it is extinguished by itself when there is a little light. I don't know why I'm doing such a stupid thing, I think uncontrollably, and I confirm my situation without thinking. I feel very incompetent and ashamed, but I can't live well and recognize myself in a confident way. I remember that my teacher once told me to find out my sensitive source and things that I can rely on, stay away from those unstable energies, and get close to those warm enough. But why do I feel that when I am sad, everything is my source of sensitivity, but I can't find enough warmth. Without living water, it feels like nothingness.

What about love? Is love eternal? I often hear people say that relationships are to be managed. At first, the joy of dopamine is maddening, but then gradually fades away. How to keep a good love? Turn into affection? But sometimes why is family-like love not as good as the beginning? I lay these down, like a sincere Meng Tong, really inquiring.

Children's childhood recreation, the words of famous books, names and deeds on tombstones, parents' love for their children, sleep in the afternoon... So many things in the world are so long, but is there really one thing that will never change? It seems a little too naive for me to ask. After all, what if you know it, what if it really exists?

***

Plant a seed in your heart and wait for it to sprout and grow into a big tree. Repeated planting and growth, visible, is this eternity? Doing something boring constantly, like the man who lights the lamp in The Little Prince, lights the lamp day after day. The seemingly intermittent light, when viewed from a distance, is eternal.

Or, is this also life?

***

There are many questions in this miscellaneous journal. I don’t like to leave a lot of doubts. Those questions that I don’t fully understand are irresponsibly thrown to the reader. For that, I apologize.

But anyway, I wish you all the best.