Life | If you don't solve a problem, you will always be a problem

In real life, are you often afraid of conflicts and disputes with others? You always feel that there are more mistakes than words. Therefore, when you need to express your views or interests, you will always choose to be courteous to others or be forced to accept them. In the end, it is yourself who is tired. Gradually your voice was drowned out, and others chose not to ask your opinion anymore... You were ignored, regarded as a transparent person, you hated this place, and tried to leave. Going to a brand new place, facing a group of people I don't know at all, thinking I can start over, but the same thing happens again.....

You start to doubt yourself, you start to feel helpless and depressed, you start to feel like you're worthless... when you start to resist, start trying to be yourself, and find opportunities to express yourself, it's repulsive...

In response to the above situation, today I would like to talk about the "defense mechanism" :

The "defense mechanism" is the objective law that the psychologist Freud revealed and summarized the human suffering mechanism in the early days, and the defense mechanism is the lies that humans lie to themselves in order to avoid suffering.

Defense mechanisms can also be understood as protection mechanisms , which, as the name suggests, can bring us protection! But once we rely on defense mechanisms, there will be many negative effects: citing the above-mentioned situation, we always think that peace is the most valuable, and unnecessary conflicts can be avoided, that's right! But in the long run, the defense mechanism will be solidified and become our instinctive response to difficulties, greatly limiting our original ability to express and seriously ignoring our inner voice.

Over time, solidified thinking is formed in the mind: contradictions in expression + dilemmas caused by contradictions -> talking less is the best solution

🌟 ( American psychologists call the escape phenomenon of burying your head in a sand pit like an ostrich and blinding your eyes to safety when encountering danger or setbacks as the ostrich effect)

Although faced with long-term thinking patterns that cannot be changed for a while, we still want to believe that we have the opportunity to change:

 Know yourself well, know your defense mode, try hard to recall the things that have brought you pain in the past and have not been solved well, try to face the difficulties with a new attitude, do not escape, and slowly break through little by little, change the inherent Thinking mode, let yourself have the freedom to speak and choose again~~ Change can bring about a turning point 💪

Hi, this is Li Xiaofei ❤️Thank you for reading till the end 🙇‍♀️

If you have any ideas, please leave a message to me 💡

As long as there are readers, I will continue to write, thank you~ I hope you will give me more advice and encouragement ❤️

Welcome to support me in continuing to write: https://liker.land/joannayeonle/civic