We, who are about to turn 30, have both expectations and fears about marriage.

I've known Xiaoyu for ten years. From a young teenager to a marriageable age, time is really merciless! Our topics have also ranged from chasing dramas, browsing the Internet, falling in love, cramming before the final exam, to expectations and fears about marriage, and even worrying about the problem of aging in the future.

Xiaoyu intends to register her marriage with her boyfriend who has been in a stable relationship for six years, but on the eve of the marriage, she is anxious and worried that once she steps into the marriage, looks after her husband and raises her children, she will put all her energy into her marriage. How can a middle-aged woman who is divorced get back on her feet when things go wrong? Because of the many negative examples around her, she went from longing for marriage to facing anxiety before marriage.

In fact, I understand her feelings very well. We all come from families where our parents are divorced. We have seen the various grievances our mother has suffered in order to support the family since childhood. Women are inherently weaker than men, and they have to spend more effort and strength for the happiness of their children. On the one hand, we yearn for a happy family; on the other hand, we are afraid that the story of our parents will happen again in our marriage. Sometimes I ask myself: "If I already have a child in the future, but find out that my husband is having an affair, will I have half the strength of my mother to handle and adapt to this matter?" I don't think it's easy.
(Of course men and women are equal, and relatives also happen to men. This is purely a statement of personal experience, not sexism! :))

The only thing we can do is to cultivate our ability to survive, not to stop learning, and to be ready for emergencies at any time. Of course, marriage is one with two sides, and happiness is the best outcome. Risk assessment is to minimize harm. This is not a negative thought but a plan. There are some friends around me who have completely devoted themselves to the family after marriage. The focus of their lives is on their husbands and children. The love has gradually faded away. In the past few years, they have derailed from the workplace and interpersonal relationships, and even lost themselves. When faced with emotional discord, When a third party intervenes, their world completely collapses, and they don't know how to live a strong and independent life for a while, which is really distressing.

The most perfect thing in life is not only to meet your caring partner, but also to have the ability to take care of yourself and support yourself. Life is changeable and unpredictable, the only thing you can control is your ability to deal with crisis, and this part can be improved by learning. When you have a partner who holds you in the palm of your hand and becomes your arm to take care of your worries, you have to remember in addition to being grateful - these things you don't need to do, not you "won't" Do. Maybe one day he encounters a low ebb, and you have the ability to lend him your shoulder. You only temporarily put away the peaks, and when you need to bloom, you are always ready to shine. This is the happiest thing ever!