Small talk shorthand/Nothing to say 2020.

This is not a retrospective. (emphasis first)

I just received a questionnaire from Matters that I have barely used in the past six months, and I was shocked that I hadn't sat down to write anything for so long.

At the beginning of the year, I gave myself a lot of expectations, about writing, about reading, and about understanding myself. Looking back at the end of the year, I feel that this year is really a year without words.

The half-year-long career void left me in the cracks between emotions and life pressure every day; when everything settled, I finally calmed down, and as I said before - I can't write without emotions.

There was no way to write a reply on the questionnaire: "Because I have nothing to write about", so I had to write an essay as a confession and confession.

Another thing that keeps me socially away is that I miss that loneliness. The change in the biological clock caused me to lose the lonely time at 3:00 in the morning, when only the sound of my own heartbeat existed, so I stayed away from all the external world, leaving only the two o'clock and one line between work and home, closing myself in During this fifteen-minute walk.

Every day, every day, only in these fifteen minutes after get off work, I am completely myself.

Writing is a personal thing, and I, who lost my privacy, stopped writing because I had nothing to say for the past six months.

Brief vernacular - life is always the same and I'm not thinking, so I'm silent.

Probably, that's the reason.

The painting on the cover is a combination of acrylic paint and meditation that I went to a class. It is a painting of a child who was still in his womb at the time and is now almost two years old. I like the blue with sunshine in the deep sea very much. He is the only light in my dark days. So far, he is the most beautiful redemption in my life.