Taking your parents abroad? Is it filial piety or catching up with fashion?

A few years ago, I posted this on the square grid, and was challenged by one of the authors of the community. He CUE me in a very warm tone: "How old are my parents? Can I still leave? If there is a chance, I still want to travel abroad together and leave good memories!"

Then the author disappeared, I don't know why? I didn't respond at the time. It's not that I look down on him, it's that I don't care about him at all.

Xiong Xiong found that this article was not published in Matt City, so I revised it and posted it.

A lot of times, people feel strange not to follow the trend, and they feel unhappy after following the trend, especially some concepts and behaviors that may first involve "social goodness and customs". For example, Taiwan's extremely perverted culture of giving up seats, and for example, "taking elders abroad" and "filial piety trips", which were popularized by bloggers and self-guided travel before the epidemic.

On the Internet, if you search casually, you can find teaching texts such as "Strategies" and "Precautions" for taking elders and parents abroad. It tells readers what things to pay attention to in order to reduce friction with elders on the journey, basically nothing more than It seems that you want to see that it is very hard for your parents to raise you, so just swallow it when you are unhappy for a few days. Then even the media copied it and turned it into a news report.

And those who instigated (ㄒㄧˇㄋㄠˇ) everyone to take their parents to go abroad, as your performance of filial piety, the reasons for holding are probably nothing more than:

In the past, it was your parents who took you abroad to play; your parents worked hard or spent money to raise you; take your parents abroad while they are still moving; do your filial piety in a timely manner;

(Only five are listed, 10,000 words are omitted below)

In fact, what is called "filial piety" is a very complicated subject. My family is very cute, and I have a harmonious relationship. I can understand each other even when I go abroad, instead of the boundless accommodating of the elders. The memories of traveling abroad can be really wonderful.

But each family has different love and hatred. They love and kill each other at home, but they don't follow the trend that is not suitable for them. In order to make others feel:

You are so filial, take my parents abroad; my children are very filial and will take me abroad; or take my parents abroad to make my parents feel that I am filial

If you bring your parents to bring your parents, it is similar to getting married for the sake of getting married. In the end, it just brings more unpleasantness.

Some friends can't help but ask me, I have been traveling alone for more than ten years:

You don't even want to take your parents abroad, do you?

I really don't want to or not! Because I don't like it very much, the kind of people who say they have no opinions and are very easy-going before going out, but after going out, they have a lot of opinions. It just so happens that my parents are such people. At home, I already feel that you are not good enough. I know too well that these two old people go abroad, it will not be worse, only the worst. Therefore, this kind of popularity is good for others to catch up.

Then, I also often encounter friends who take their parents abroad, and the atmosphere is very bad along the way. If there is a chance to meet, I will inevitably pour out my resentment during the trip:

I ordered a high-end restaurant abroad, and I wanted to make them eat better. My dad thought it was too expensive. Choosing to eat cheaper, he finds it unpalatable.

My dad said at first not to spend money on a ride. He told him that walking around the West Lake in Hangzhou would be very tiring. He still insisted on not taking a ride. In the end, I leaned on his foot to invite blisters.

My mother insisted that she must buy XX. She took her to many stores and couldn't buy it. She began to feel that I was leading the way.

Hearing this, I can only say to my friends:

That's not your problem. Not every family is suitable for a plot like "The Journey of Filial Piety". Especially like we have a pair of parents who are usually difficult to love and get along with each other. Anyway, we should spend money to buy experience, and don't force the elderly to take care of them in the future.

Oh, by the way, I advise you to go on filial piety trips in exchange for fishy friends, try not to complain in the online discussion forum, maybe you are just simply sharing your experience, so that villagers who want to take their parents out can be psychologically prepared. However, the villagers can't read minds and don't understand your family background, and in exchange, they may scold you for being unfilial.

The filial piety and justice demons in some travel forums are really scary! If the left sentence is unfilial and the right sentence is not filial, time and space seem to be going back five hundred years.

Every time I see villagers who share unpleasant parent-child travel experiences and are scolded by a bunch of netizens who don't know them at all but think they are just, it's really innocent enough. Well, Taiwan is a society that likes to kidnap with morality and does not respect individual differences. This is the case with giving up seats, and traveling with filial piety is the same. They like to use the same ruler to measure different people and things.

I believe that there are many people who simply do not want to have common memories with their families, and try to avoid them if they can. Not all families can, or want to see travel as a shared memory.

Take my family as an example, the two elders only know that they often take their children abroad for the Spring Festival before retiring, but they have almost forgotten where they are going. Most of my memories of going abroad with my family are often admonished:

Be generous when you go out; spend money to take you abroad to ask you to have an international outlook; you must speak English when you go out, otherwise what are you going to do with English?

Making short-term travel dogmatic and utilitarian, and not relaxing enough to be trembling, parents feel that taking you out is so that you can be talked about by them, which is tired enough. Is it possible to play superficiality in Phuket and try to speak English with the starfish at the same time? What's more, I once had the rare experience of being strangled by my father on the plane during a parent-child trip!

If the experience of parent-child travel in the past is easy, enjoyable and unburdened, when I have the financial means, I am also willing to try filial piety travel. The problem is that those memories are too bad. wake up! There are no "common memories from the trip", especially when the parents have Alzheimer's upper body one day, all the memories are fake. My soulless dad has been demented for several years, how can I still remember when he strangled my neck on the plane, maybe after he finished strangling and smoked an afterlife cigarette, he would have forgotten about it, let alone lost wisdom.

Traveling with parents has always been a choice and experiment. It is not a "social good custom", nor should it be kidnapped by morality, or used to show off other people's filial piety, nor is it an infinite value.

Therefore, I have never taken my parents abroad, but I have never regretted it. I do not regret this honest decision now, nor will it in the future.

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