"The greatest regret in life is being led away by fear"

There are regrets in life, mostly because there are some things that I once wanted to do, but because of fear of the uncertainty and bad influence that the action may bring, I did not do it in the end.

But have we ever wondered, do those fearful, terrifying outcomes really exist?

mark. Twain once said, "I'm an old man who knows there's a lot of trouble in the world, but most of it doesn't happen."

Don't leave life to the end, you have millions of reasons not to do so; if you want to live a life without regrets, the first step is to not let your inner fear become a stumbling block to your dreams.

🙋 So what can we do?

Before telling the method, listen to this person's story...

Well-known best-selling author Tim Ferris faced the same question in 2004, but he unexpectedly got a simple answer.

At the time, Tim was running his first business, earning $70,000 a month. He seemed like a beautiful man, but he was actually caught in an abyss that couldn't be escaped - he couldn't get rid of his company.

He didn't have his own time, and to keep up with the company's growth, he had to wake up on stimulants, fall asleep on tranquilizers, and work 14 hours a day, 24/7.

When he found out that the situation was not right, he tried his best to overcome the fear of "if he doesn't work 14 hours a day, the company will fall apart", so he finally made a decision - buy a plane ticket and take a month off in London. long vacation.

🙋 How did Tim finally overcome his inner fear?

At first, trapped in his own fears, he hesitated to take action, but eventually he was inspired by a famous quote from the philosopher Seneca, "Most of the fears we feel are imaginary. " We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

Based on this idea, he developed a "Fear-Setting Exercise" , in which the fear in his mind was written down on paper in black and white, and it was visualized, not just in the mind. murmur.

But he never imagined that this exercise not only made his trip to London go smoothly, but also turned the original one month into a year and a half of traveling around the world, and also laid the foundation for his famous book "Working in a Week 4" Hours" foundation.

🔹 Now, let's overcome fear and make a brave decision through the "Fear-Setting Exercise"!

🙋Why learn this exercise?

Because the fear in our minds can make us…

✅ Zoom in on possible negative outcomes after taking action

✅ Ignore the possible benefits of taking action

✅ Underestimating the hidden costs of inaction

🚫 Finally... let's "NO"!

Since we already know that "the accumulation of many inactions is the regret before death" , why not face it earlier?

🙋 When to use this exercise?

🔹Facing an important decision, I don’t know what to do with Hershey…

Whether it’s a problem at work or in personal life, it may be asking someone you like, ending a relationship, asking for a raise, thinking about leaving your current job, etc. This exercise can help us face the fears in our hearts. , to find the most suitable solution.

🔹When you actually vaguely know what to do, but you can't get past the level in your heart...

Have you ever had a time like this when you knew what would be better for your future, but your mind was always filled with doubts and "what if", "what if I...,...?" As a result, you hesitated for a long time. , still haven't taken that step.

At this time, instead of letting the "question" and "fear" in your mind run wild, you should take the initiative to face them, "dig" them out of your mind, and write them down on paper. If there is an impact, how big is the impact? How much impact will it have on your life now? Will this effect last? Or is it short-lived? How likely are these things to happen?

🙋 How to do this exercise?

The "Fear-Setting Exercise" contains 3 pages, each with its own purpose.

👉 Page 1: Visualize your fears, imagine how to avoid and remedy them

👉 Page 2: Imagine the benefits of "taking action"

👉 Page 3: Assess the cost of "inaction"

Page 1: Visualize your fears and imagine how to avoid and remedy them

It is divided into 5 steps.

1. Take out a piece of paper, draw three columns, and write "Define", "Avoid Prevent" and "Remediate Repair" as the headings.
2. In the "Define" column, write down the "all" fears in your heart for the choices, actions and actions in front of you.
   After doing this thing and making this decision, are you worried about...? Write down all the doubts and worries in your heart, imagine all the details carefully, and translate the fears in your mind into concrete words as much as possible.
3. In the "Prevent" column, write down what actions you can take first to "avoid" the worry from happening?
   Whether the action is big or small, write it down.
4. In the "Repair" column, write down the "remedial" methods you can think of at the moment "in case" the thing you are worried about does happen.
5. Evaluate the magnitude and intensity of the overall impact on a 1–10 scale

Below, I will use my own example to illustrate. Suppose I go back half a year or more, and I am still considering whether to leave the workplace, become a freelancer and run a personal brand. My first page may look like the following.

Page 2: Imagine the benefits of "taking action"

Imagine what good results are possible if we take action? Either intrinsic (confidence, fulfillment...) or extrinsic (financially...) benefits?

The following is the same as my own, when deciding whether to leave the workplace as an example.

Page 3: Assessing the Costs of "Inaction"

If you don't take action, where will you be and how will your life be in six months, a year, three years?

It is equally important to assess the appalling costs of inaction, not just the potential risks of taking action. If after the assessment, it is found that inaction and going the same way will 100% bring regrets. At this time, "inaction" is the biggest risk.

Take myself as an example below.

Going back to the example of Tim Ferris, why did he decide to buy a plane ticket, fly to London, and take a month off?

Because through this exercise, he found that the decision to "leave the company and take a month off" may bring him a negative impact of 1-3 points (out of 10), but it may bring him a good score of 8-10. The result, and this good result, is likely to change his life!

Therefore, he made this "simple" decision, bought a plane ticket, flew to London, and "bravely" took a month off. (Because of space limitations, if you want to hear Tim Ferris tell his own story, you can refer to this video )

Tim mentioned that in his life so far, every "big success/breakthrough" and "catastrophic failure" avoided in the end can be attributed to it . Do "Fear-Setting" at least once every season Exercise”” .

He said: "It's not a panacea, you'll find that some fears are 'deeply planted' in the corners of your heart; however, you shouldn't put them out in the sun because of that; likewise, this exercise It doesn't make all difficult decisions easy, but it does make most choices easy. "

Jerzy Gregorek, a well-known weightlifting world champion once said this:

"Make easy decisions and live a hard life; make hard decisions and live a simple life."
“Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.”

The biggest regret in life is being led by fear. If you want to overcome and overcome it, you must first define your fear.

Remember, most of the fear we feel is imaginary.

Don't let the suffering in your imagination cause regret in reality.

Thank you for always seeing this, I hope the above sharing can give you a little inspiration ^^

I'm Dr. J, your #growlab .

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