【How difficult is it to chase love】——You're my one and only

When he heard the news of Lee Donghae's illness, Lee Hyukjae had already arrived in Paris. Who knew that not long after he got off the plane, the agent called.

"Hyjae, Donghae is in the hospital now." The manager's voice sounded tired when he called. The background sound was the metal sound of the hospital bed moving and the voice of the nurse calling.

"What's wrong with him?" Li Hezai immediately stopped, stopped on the streets of Paris where people came and went, the suitcase heavy on his heels.

"Cold. Isn't it very cold recently, I have a cold."

"I see." Hanging up the phone, Li Hezai's hand holding the phone hangs beside his legs, and the puddles on the roadside reflect the gray sky, which is as dull as his mood at the moment. Li Donghai was sick, but he was not by his side, but in Paris, hundreds of miles away from him. Li Hezai looked at the ground for a long time, and finally moved, dragged his luggage, and continued to walk towards the taxi stand.

A few weeks before departure, they had a fight. In fact, it wasn't the first time they had quarreled, but this time it was especially fierce.

When he entered the hotel room, Li Hezai pinched Shangen. He clearly had a cleanliness addiction, but he didn't even take a shower and didn't want to change his clothes. He just lay rigidly on the hotel bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze. He closed his eyes and returned to the night he quarreled with Li Donghae.

That night, Li Donghai came to his house for dinner. After dinner, they played cards, and they played until the early morning. So Lee Donghae went to Lee Hyukjae's cloakroom to get a set of pajamas, then went into the bathroom to take a shower, and then climbed onto Lee Hyukjae's bed naturally, looked at him and said, "Go to sleep."

Lee Hyuk Jae remembered that he smiled, went to take a shower, and just sat next to Donghae and turned on the TV boredly. Turning around, I happened to see their interview, and the host asked about the topic of marriage. Lee Hyuk Jae's body began to tighten. Donghae was very sensitive when it came to the topic of marriage. He had forgotten what he answered, but the interview seemed to make Donghae unhappy.

Li Hezai glanced at Donghae timidly, and secretly prayed that he had fallen asleep, but when he looked over, he found that Donghae's eyes were bright and he was staring at the TV. So Lee Hyuk Jae didn't have the guts to pretend to yawn, turned off the TV, and muttered, "I'm so tired, go to sleep."

Unexpectedly, Donghae grabbed the remote control in his hand, turned on the TV again, and stared at it without saying a word. Li Hezai was startled, so he had to continue to tighten his nerves, quietly turned his face, and secretly watched Li Donghai's reaction.

"Watching TV." Li Donghae glared at Li Hejae with no emotion on his face. He stretched out his hand and pushed Li Hejae's face away, making him face the TV directly.

When the interview was finally over, Li Dongguan turned on the TV, lifted the quilt and slid off the bed, put on his slippers and walked out of the bedroom. It's not an exaggeration to say that Li Hezai was panicked. In less than a second, he jumped out of bed and quickly followed Li Donghai out.

"Where are you going?" Li Hezai watched Li Donghae change out of his pajamas and put on his own clothes and coat. He looked like he was going to leave right now. He even had the car keys in his hand. Looking for someone for half a day.

"Go home." Li Donghai's voice was icy and cold. Although his face was still expressionless, he was clearly angry, and he wasn't acting like a spoiled brat, he was earnestly angry and not good at coaxing him.

"It's very cold outside so late, you'll catch a cold, stay and sleep." Li Hezai took the car keys from Li Donghae's hand. He knew that Li Donghae was angry and must not let him go now. If he were to leave, he would enter a cold war. , The Cold War must be a jump, and he can't stand it.

"Why do you care so much?" Li Donghai suddenly looked into Li Hezai's eyes, his voice trembled a little, his anger suddenly disappeared, and it all turned into grievance and sadness.

Li Hezai knew that Li Donghae was very emotional and highly sensitive. Li Donghae's thoughts jumped very fast, and his emotions changed very quickly. Often he couldn't keep up with Li Donghae's jumping speed of thinking, so he was at a loss for a while and could only stay stunned. Looking at Lee Donghae there.

"Hezai, we're going to get married in the future. It's not good to keep hanging out together." Li Donghai took a step back, his tone suddenly became calm, but his eyes turned red, and his wrinkled eyebrows revealed that Li Donghai is now I want to cry. Usually as long as Lee Donghae cried, Lee Hyukjae would soften his heart, but not this time.

"What do you mean?" Li Hezai's voice became cold, and the tenderness in his eyes faded a bit, as if he was about to get angry.

Li Donghai sucked his nose and continued to say regardless, "You don't have to be so nice to me, you'll be tired too, you also need to spend time looking for the other half, I've been clinging to you, I didn't think much of it before, but now we're all three It's been a dozen years, and it's different." Li Donghai's voice was unusually calm, and he usually stammered and said incompletely, but today it was smooth and well-founded. Hearing his flat, monotonous voice and pretending to be calm, Lee Hyuk Jae couldn't help but get angry.

"What's the difference? What's the difference? What do you mean now, you want me to find a girlfriend, don't stay with you all the time?" Li Hezai clenched his fists, the veins on his hands burst out, and his voice was several times louder. He didn't know why he was so angry, but when he saw Li Donghai draw the line, he automatically assumed that he had to find the other half and that they were going to separate without even asking what he was thinking.

"Otherwise, how are you going to get married? What are you so fierce?" Li Donghai's eyes finally filled with tears, one by one, and his voice became louder unconsciously. Why did Li Hezai kill him? He knew that Lee Hyuk Jae wanted to have a family and he had been ignoring it all this time because he liked being with Lee Hyuk Jae too much, but now he can't be so selfish anymore. Li Hezai is very smart, he clearly knows what he said is right, why is he so fierce? He was the one who said he wanted to get married, and he was usually the one who said he was clingy, but now I want to keep a distance, why is it still him who is angry. Didn't you just say it in the interview? He said he wanted to get married before thirty-five!

"Who said I'm getting married! Do you know me well, Li Donghae?" Li Hezai laughed in anger, but there was no smile in his eyes. Not to mention the number of times Lee Hyuk Jae called him by his first name and last name in private, he could count on one hand, ranking first in the things that Lee Donghae hated, no one.

"Don't make trouble, how old are you?" Li Donghai looked at the person he had been with for half his life and was suddenly exhausted. The tears in his eyes could not be restrained from falling, which made Li Hezai upset and flustered, and wanted to soften his tone to coax Li Donghai. , But hearing Li Donghai's words, his anger burst into his chest again.

"Stop making trouble? What do you mean?" Li Hezai stared at Li Donghai. He was someone who had been with him for more than ten years, but he didn't understand him at all at this moment. He knows that marriage has always been the most taboo topic for the two of them. Although he has not explored the reason, it is vaguely clear that if he does get married one day, his friendship with Donghae may come to an end. Why? He didn't know, or rather, he was afraid to know.

"Literally." Li Donghai grabbed the key in his hand, walked directly to the entrance, and began to put on his shoes.

"Li Donghae, don't leave until you finish speaking." Li Hezai walked up to him and tried to hold his hand, but he avoided him with a blunt movement.

"Hejae, I'm tired." Li Donghai didn't look at Li Hezai, but Li Hezai knew that Li Donghai's tears were still falling, and his life was hanging by a thread.

He knew that Li Donghai was not far from breaking down and crying, but he still couldn't think of a way to keep him, and he was still angry, and complicated emotions flooded his heart. I want to come back again."

Li Donghai paused and left.

Lee Hyuk Jae lost sleep that night, and he didn't even know how to talk to Lee Donghae. How did they get to this point? I have always been accustomed to Li Donghae being by my side. Even if he said in the interview that he wanted to get married in the future, it was just the ideal family life he imagined before, which does not mean that he really wants to get married. Why is Lee Donghae so angry? Li Hezai closed his eyes, in fact he knew, how could he not know what Li Donghai was angry about, how could he not know why his reaction was so big.

Does Donghae also have that kind of aching pain when approaching each other? He also felt that his heartbeat was so loud that it burst his eardrums, his hands were shaking almost uncontrollably, and his scalp was numb, but he didn't want to back away? Did he know the current between them, something he had never felt in anyone else?

After that, there was no news of Li Donghai, he did not update his instagram, he did not reply to Li Hezai's messages, and he did not even answer Te brother's phone. Li Hezai sent more than one message. At first, he simply asked "Did you eat?" and "Did you sleep?" Later, when Li Donghae didn't reply, Li Hezai realized that Li Donghae was really going to talk about it this time. It couldn't be done, so Li Hezai made up his mind to pass on "Let's talk", but Li Donghai still didn't reply, and he didn't answer the phone.

If it wasn't for the agent who would update the personal schedule of their team members, if he hadn't specifically asked the agent about Lee Donghae's recent daily life, Lee Donghae would have disappeared from his world like the world evaporated.

Lee Hyuk Jae was very angry, but there was nothing he could do. What does Lee Donghae want him to do? He has decided to talk and can tell Li Donghai clearly, I am sure I love you, I am not getting married, I just want to be with you, but why didn't Li Donghai even give him a chance to talk? Has he been declared a hopeless lover before he confessed? Has Li Donghai really decided to give up, give up everything between them, return to the so-called normal life, find someone to marry, have children, and start a family? Is this what Lee Donghae wanted?

The variety show came to an end, and he finally relieved the burden of being the host. He and Li Donghai have not spoken for almost three weeks. It is the first time in more than ten years that they have lost contact for so long. Even when China and South Korea were separated, they would make a phone call every two days. Even if it was a long distance, he would always be willing to spend the money. Why didn't you find out that your relationship had changed sooner? Why didn't you realize that Lee Donghae was the only one earlier?

After applying for a vacation from the company, Lee Hyuk-jae bought a plane ticket to Paris, sent a message to Lee Dong-hae that he was going on vacation, and hoped to have a good talk when he returned to Korea. He no longer expects Li Donghai to reply to the message, and he may have to wait until Li Donghai wants to talk before contacting him. Li Hezai squeezed the mountain roots again, and turned over to wrap his body in the quilt, making him feel more secure. The smell on Li Donghai's body is nectarine blossom, with a hint of honey and citrus fragrance, sweet and sleep-inducing. It has been a long time since he was in his arms. Li Hezai thought about the nostalgic smell and fell into a deep sleep.

The doorbell of the room rang, not the waiter politely ringing it once or twice, but an uninterrupted, frantic sound like it was broken, ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong, making Li Hezai a person who did not get up. All want to kill.

As soon as the door was opened, Li Donghai with messy hair stood at the door. Lee Hyuk Jae was suddenly dumbfounded, thinking he was dreaming.

"How...how did you come?" With misty eyes and a hoarse voice, Li Hezai didn't fully wake up, and he didn't know how to deal with it for a while. Lee Donghae is here? "Aren't you in the hospital? Are you cured of your cold?"

"Yeah." Li Donghai waved his hand indifferently, and got into the room through the gap beside Li Hezai, without the slightest embarrassment of not speaking for a few weeks. They never seem to be embarrassed. Even after quarreling and losing contact for so long, they are still very familiar with each other, with a deep sense of intimacy.

"What...why did you come here?" Li Hezai watched Li Donghae sit on the bed, closed the door, walked to Li Donghae, reached out and touched his forehead. It's not hot, his eyes are very clear, and he doesn't seem to have a fever.

"Don't you want to see me?" Lee Donghae looked into Lee Hyukjae's eyes, his hair was probably ruffled by the wind, and was draped on his forehead.

"No... I miss you very much." Li Hezai whispered, reaching out to brush his broken hair, his fingertips lingering and not wanting to leave, he hadn't seen Li Donghae for a long time, his Donghae. He wanted to lean down and hug him, but he didn't know how Li Donghai thought about their relationship now, he didn't dare.

Li Donghae let him brush his hair and looked up at Li Hejae, there was some kind of light in his eyes. Li Donghae, who is often distracted, is the most attentive when looking at Li Hezai.

"Haehae, I've thought about it, I don't want to get married." Lee Hyukjae took a deep breath, looked at Lee Donghae seriously and said.

Lee Donghae frowned and replied, "That's not what I meant, I'm not angry because you want to get married."

Li Hezai nodded, squatted down and looked at Li Donghai who was sitting, "I know, I haven't finished speaking yet. I don't want to marry anyone, I like you and want to be with you...Is that okay?" Only then did I realize that my palms were sweaty, and I was not nervous at all when I was on stage, but now I am so nervous. What was Li Donghai thinking about during this time? Could it be that he didn't like him that much for a long time, and if there was no ambiguity, it was really just a tasteless and hopeless ambiguity?

Li Donghai opened his mouth and stared deeply at Li Hezai, as if he didn't know how to react for a moment. After a while, he regained his senses, the corners of his mouth curled up, and he smiled softly.

"Lee Hye Jae, I ran so far to see you, but you stole my lines... I don't want to lose my temper and feel wronged, and I don't want to step back and let you get married. If you want to get married, you have to marry me. I like it too. You." Lee Donghae's words were heavy, his eyes were bright and happy, and he looked at Lee Hyukjae, smiling and he suddenly wanted to cry. Reaching out his hand and holding Li Hezai into his arms, Li Donghai took a deep breath and exhaled, and his breath warmed Li Hezai's neck.

Li Hezai was stunned for a while, he held Li Donghai with his backhand, and he couldn't believe what Li Donghai said.

"When there was no contact, I kept thinking that I made the right decision. We should take the right path, not to worry about parents and not to affect the team. But Hejae, I really miss you. I miss you, but I can’t miss you. I dare not reply to your message, because I can’t help but keep going back, and I can’t help but not like you... In the end, I couldn’t help it, you said that you were going to stay in Paris for several times. I can't hold on for that long, I have to see you." Li Donghae spoke slowly and firmly, but Li Hezai could feel his body shaking.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't hide from you like this..." Li Donghai couldn't help crying, Li Hezai would be a good husband, he knows how to love people so much, what girl wouldn't like it? But no, he doesn't want to give Hezai to others, he is very selfish and can't let go, Li Hezai can only be his.

Li Hezai held Li Donghae for a long time, reached out and stroked his back to calm Li Donghae's breath. Li Hezai's heart seemed to be bubbling, and he was so happy that he was rolling in marshmallows, his whole body was soft, and he knew the air was sweet without breathing in.

"Haihai, I figured it out not long after you left. I only like you. You are the only person I want. I only want to talk to you in love, and I just want to marry you." Li Hezai said softly, Hold the person in your arms tightly.

"Am I... bad?" Li Donghai was silent for a while, spit out this sentence leisurely, looked up at Li Hezai's eyes, and the wet end of his eyes made Li Hezai's heart move.

"Bad, so bad that you hide from me for so long, so bad that you don't even dare to say what's in your heart, you just want to push me out to others. You're so bad, only I can stand it, don't ever leave, just stay by my side Let's go." Lee Hyuk Jae continued to kiss, the first official kiss between them, Lee Dong Hae's lips were so soft that he was about to sink in. He knew the meaning of Donghai's question, but he was as bad as Li Donghai, and he just wanted to take the person in his arms as his own, without giving any of it to others.

Li Donghae was breathless from the kiss, and reached out and patted Li Hezai's chest to let him go. After breathing down, he put his hands on Li Hezai's shoulders and said in a low voice, "I never wanted to give you to anyone else."

"Then don't." Li Hezai looked at the person in front of him, reached out to gather Li Donghai's broken hair on his temples, and gently kissed his soft earlobe. "Never give me to anyone else, I'll get angry."

Holding Li Hezai into his arms, Li Donghai took a deep breath, the smell on Li Hezai's body had a soothing effect, making him feel at ease instantly. On the days without contact, he couldn't sleep well or eat well. Li Hezai had sent a message, but he wanted to cut off the relationship, so he didn't reply to the message, but in the middle of the night, he thought of Li Hezai and couldn't sleep.

In fact, long before the interview, he thought about the relationship between Li Hezai and himself. He had been with him for more than ten years, and he didn't know when it started. Li Hezai and himself became one, and they were as close and inseparable as twins. Li Hezai was very kind to himself, but Li Donghai felt that it was because he hadn't found the other half, so he put all his energy on himself, which was some kind of spiritual comfort, just like some people keep pets.

He vaguely knew that Li Hezai was not as simple as he was to pets, but he didn't want to think about it. After all, Li Hezai wanted to get married and start a family, and he wouldn't focus on pampering himself all his life. So Li Donghai made up his mind, or just enjoy it now, and break up when it really can't be delayed. Li Hezai must know what he means, he doesn't like him that much, at least not as much as he likes him.

Watching TV that day, Li Donghai once again felt the desperation of the interview at that time, and his heart was so painful that he couldn't breathe. He knew that he couldn't drag it on. He liked Li Hezai too much, and he would lose his life if he dragged it on. So he left, even though his whole body was about to shatter when he heard Li Hezai's words "you go now, don't even think about coming back", he braced himself and left his house.

In the end, after suffering for several days, Li Donghai still lost to his own endurance. He thought that Li Hezai was about to dry up, like a deep-sea fish thrown into the desert. He couldn't tell whether Li Hezai was a stream flowing into the sea or an oasis in a mirage. In short, Li Hezai was the only hope in the desert. He was his own. The guiding light, you have to get close to him, or you will die.

While thinking about it like this, he fell ill, so he endured a headache and booked a flight ticket at the hospital, and flew over overnight to find Li Hezai. He had to let Li Hezai know that he liked him. Although his head was dizzy and he couldn't even figure out what to say, he knew that he had to meet this person. Good insurance brokers know which hotel Li Hezai is staying in, good risk they can talk about it.

"Li Hezai, you bastard, you confessed so late." Thinking that he had taken antipyretics on the plane but still had a headache and couldn't sleep, Li Donghai suddenly felt distressed about the anger he had suffered in the past three weeks. People who are pampered and proud are always Unscrupulous, completely forgetting that he ignored Li Hezai for so long.

"I was wrong, forgive me." But Li Hezai was just willing to spoil Li Donghai. Li Donghai's unreasonable complaints were coquettish and belonged to him. He didn't want Li Donghai to do this to others. No matter what kind of Li Donghai he is, he can only belong to him. Li Hezai sighed, it's okay to have no principles, how can he be so domineering towards Li Donghai, it's too irrational.

Li Donghai also sighed, lying on Li Hezai comfortably, feeling that his muscles and bones finally softened, the fatigue of this period of time finally disappeared, and his head no longer hurt. Li Hezai has a magic power that makes him feel like a cat that has finally found a nest after wandering for a long time, and can sleep in peace. So Li Hezai heard Li Donghai's even breathing, and the kitten in his arms slowly fell asleep.

Li Donghai's brows were flat, and the corners of his eyes were still wet. Li Hezai wiped it off with his hands, hugged him gently, put his head on the pillow, and gently covered him with the quilt.

Looking at Li Donghae's child-like sleeping face, Li Hezai smiled softly, the fluff on his face was covered with platinum under the lamp, and the whole person looked bright. When looking at the person you like, people always naturally reveal a gentle but shining soft light. He leaned down and kissed Donghae's forehead, softly said I love you, then turned off the light and embraced Donghae from behind to sleep.

It is like a treasure, but you are more charming than a treasure; like the sun, but you are warmer than the sun; beautiful like a shooting star, but you are more eternal than a shooting star. You are my starlight every night, and my sunshine every day. You are what I think about day and night, how lucky you are, and you are the one who accompanies me day and night.

"Extra - Kiss"

When he woke up the next day, Lee Hyuk Jae found that Lee Dong Hae was staring at him, only a thumb away, so Lee Hyuk Jae leaned forward and kissed him. Li Donghai's face was a little pink, he laughed silently, buried his head in Li Hezai's arms, and said coquettishly, "I'm so hungry."

Lee Hyuk-jae realizes that they haven't eaten for almost a day and immediately calls room service.

"I want to eat seafood." Li Donghai looked at the menu and ordered food, resting his head on Li Hezai's shoulder, and finally determined the relationship. They are as sticky as they are now, and they can't be separated like gummy candies.

"Okay." As soon as Lee Hyuk Jae picked up the phone, Lee Donghae added, "I still want to eat spaghetti."

"Okay, any more?" Li Hezai pinched the tip of Li Donghai's nose and rubbed his head against the other's hair.

"I still want to eat fried chicken." Li Donghai laughed mischievously, his eyes flashing lively, watching Li Hezai's helpless smile.

"This is Paris, where can I get you fried chicken? It's not on the menu."

"Then why don't you kiss me?" Li Donghai leaned forward and kissed him before Li Hezai could react.

Lee Hyuk Jae laughed like a fool. He liked Lee Donghae's jumping thinking, that Lee Donghae often spoke unreasonably, that Lee Donghae made strange requests to him, and that Lee Donghae's nonsensical and sudden romantic behavior. He is often ridiculed by the team members as a love genius, but in front of Li Donghai, he is just a silly boyfriend who wants to be nice to his lover.

"Let's kiss again." Lee Hyuk Jae leaned forward and kissed Lee Donghae. You don't need to be a genius, you should never pay attention to skill and talent when it comes to dating. It's not that you can't help yourself at every step. At this moment, he just wants to hold the person in his arms, respond to his outrageous requests, and by the way, kiss him more.