Recently, Sun Yining released the chat records of Wang Sicong's personal pursuit of her, which attracted the attention of the melon-eating crowd. In the chat records, it can be seen that Wang Sicong continued to use his "pay" to emotionally blackmail, expecting Sun Yining to meet Wang Sicong's needs:

"You don't know how to feel sorry for others. I haven't had a good rest these past few days."

"My brother, who drove three hours to come, I said we are friends. Meeting him is my bottom line. I also drove three hours to come. Do you want me to completely hate you?"

He repeatedly emphasized that he drove three hours there and had to ask Sun Yining to see him, because "meeting him is my bottom line. Let me tell you again."

Until finally, he was rejected and began to directly say harsh words to exact revenge. He said harsh words: "Just wait. When you came to Shanghai, you told me that you were single and straight, and I also helped you to expose it. I have the chat records. Just wait. Hammer it."

Suddenly, the Internet started to have a wild carnival, and many melon-eating people began to ridicule and carnival: "Even the son of the richest man has to be a dog licker", "It turns out that Wang Sicong still suffered from being a dog licker and was rejected one day" "It turns out that money is not everything "You can buy it"... But many people have ignored the seriousness of this matter: this is actually a vicious incident of sexual harassment and gender-based violence against women.

"Dog-licking" is essentially a culture of sexual harassment

In the past Internet culture, Wang Sicong's behavior fell into the drama of "the domineering president fell in love with me".

Today's Internet has begun to have a new definition of Wang Sicong's behavior - "dog licking". Compared with the "tyrannical president", the "dog licker" is more humble, and it also makes the onlookers feel more sympathetic.

However, "dog licking" cannot conceal its nature of sexual harassment. It often creates the image of a passionate, humble pursuer who does not care about the cost and does not ask for anything in return. But if you think about it carefully, in a normal relationship, if you keep showing kindness to others, but the other party does not respond positively, or even refuses all the time, then why not terminate the contribution to the relationship?

Therefore, this kind of dog-licking culture is essentially a violation of the boundaries of relationships between people. A "dog licker" who keeps getting more and more frustrated even when we continue to refuse to interact, what is it if it's not sexual harassment?

In addition, it is not that lickers do not ask for anything in return. On the contrary, they believe that man can conquer nature and that hard work will be rewarded - they believe that a woman's defense line can be finally overcome by herself. Under this thinking logic, it also shows that they do not treat women as individuals. They believe that women have no personal will, or that her personal will is not important.

In order to achieve a certain goal, they can ignore all the expressions and appeals of this woman and continue to harass her. How can a goddess who "licks a dog" like this be a human being? In fact, it is an attainable goal and a trophy.

Licking a dog must not turn into hatred

Just think about it, what would happen if a dog licker tried hard but failed?

Wang Sicong chased Sun Yining for several months, but received no response. He became angry and committed gender violence against Sun Yining. He began to attack Sun Yining as a liar, a homosexual, and a pig-killing scam. He used his online influence to launch an online violence against Sun Yining, threatening to destroy her and kill her socially.

Now, as an Internet celebrity, this girl’s livelihood tool, Douyin, has been blocked, and the “scandalous” press releases about her are still flying all over the place.

And what about people who are not as influential as Wang Sicong?

Not long ago, on June 3, a female master's degree student from Shandong was hacked to death on the spot by her suitor Liu in her office. Liu's courtship tactics for a female master's degree in Shandong are exactly the same as Wang Sicong's continuous entanglement: phone harassment, asking someone to go to the leadership to find a matchmaker, threatening to commit suicide by taking pills, and secretly deleting all male contacts in the female master's mobile phone address book. Way. However, this is not an extreme case. Failing to resort to violence is a frequent occurrence of gender-based violence in society.

Looking back at Wang Sicong's threats, they still receive praise from many netizens, and even many marketing accounts are still waiting for Wang Sicong's attack. Netizens kept this incident in a carnival of gossipy news in the entertainment industry, but ignored that this was a naked and real incident of gender violence. Reveling in ignorance will eliminate the seriousness of this gender-based violence incident, while erasing Sun Yining's online account and constantly turning this incident into ridicule and joke are tolerant of gender-based violence.

How to prevent more harm from happening?

The reason why this matter has attracted so many people's attention is largely because Wang Sicong's pursuit of wives is so common. His harassing pursuit can be perfectly applied to almost any man, and is considered a very sincere way of pursuing him.

These men are creating the image of a particularly persistent pursuer who seems to be able to give everything for you, including risking everything to come to you, losing sleep all night for you, losing their mind for you... and so on. , the implication is: all their irrational behaviors are all caused by you, and you need to pay for their irrational behaviors.

What we need to know is that any pursuit is only pursuit if it occurs on the premise of respecting the other party's wishes and considering the other party's feelings. Such unilateral "giving" and demanding something in return is a threat.

In the current social culture, many female friends once encounter such an incident, because they do not know how to say no, they get stuck in it, and even vaguely feel that it is their own mistake, or are moved by it, but they do not know that a greater danger lies Waiting for them ahead.

Any one of us can be subject to violence, as evidenced by the numerous reports of gender-based violence happening all around us. Therefore, how to identify this kind of oppression in the name of "wooing" is actually emotionally manipulative, and how to learn to prevent further harm from happening has become particularly important.

1. If the conversation makes you feel emotionally uncomfortable, such as guilt, self-blame, worry, flattery, etc., please do not ignore these negative emotions. You need to physically isolate the relationship and then look at it. Look at what you are thinking and try to find the origin of these emotions.

The process can be confusing, but the first thing to do is to see and value the emotion.

2. Try to keep the conversation in this uncomfortable relationship as open as possible with a trusted friend. This can also build an alliance between women.

3. Always remember that you have needs and have the same rights as the other person. The difficulties the other person encounters in pursuing you are not caused by you, but because they have chosen a life full of drama. You do not need to be responsible for their misfortunes.

While they want you to meet their needs, they must believe that their own needs also need to be met, and they can also boldly raise them and learn to defend their boundaries. For example: I don’t want to see this person in my life.

4. If the other party stalks, stalks, threatens, or intimidates you, please promptly tell the people around you, or your school/work unit, or the other party's school/work unit, or report the matter to relevant authorities. File a complaint with a government agency, cut off all physical contact with the abuser, and protect yourself.