What's the hardest part about doing career counseling? Two types of cases murdered my brain cells

[Career Consultant's Clearance and Fighting Monsters]

The difficulty of career counseling changes qualitatively with the accumulation of experience and quantitative changes. At the beginning, it may be the completeness of the theoretical framework of the career consultant and the maturity of dealing with different cases.
However, these can be gradually optimized with the accumulation of times, and each self-reflection and correction.

Until now, after listening to the problem of the case, I have been able to grasp the crux of the problem almost automatically, quickly come up with a solution structure in my mind, and guide the case in a certain direction. Of course, it is necessary to repeatedly confirm with the case in the interaction. Is it really the right way for the other party.

Architectural guidance, for me, has never been difficult. It is also a very effective method for cases that need direction. Coupled with one-on-one, hands-on practice, the effect is quite obvious and can be seen.

As for letting the client open his heart and speak his heart without reservation, I don’t know how many times I deliberately practiced this when I was in the business, and I can’t figure out why it’s easy to use because I have studied psychological counseling. Or internalizing the work relationship? Or nature? In short, when the case told me that I have good ears, although I don’t know how it happened, I was still very happy.

But, the hardest part, what is it?

I think it is the "motivation" of the case.

If you come to me at your own expense, the motives have always been strong. Motivated people usually have the ability to change themselves, as long as they have the right driving force; but those who come through institutions are not necessarily. The ones that give me the most headaches are roughly divided into two categories:

【Career Counseling: Two Headache Case Types】

l World-weary type:

I have no interest or expertise in anything, and I don't know if I ask three questions. Want to do a job that matches your interests, but don't know what your interests are? Want to get a high salary at work and leave work on time, but have neither the ability to exchange it nor the willingness to give it, so that I can get close to this standard. It's like everyone wants to eat lunch, you ask him, he says "anything is fine", but you really make a suggestion, and the other party doesn't want this or that. It makes me tired of the world. Lying flat may also be an attitude towards life, but honestly, I don't appreciate it.

l Variation:

This is more likely to happen in cases with many consultations. I have encountered such an example: although I have been familiar with each other like friends after many consultations, I later found that once a goal was formulated and started to be implemented, after a while, the I haven't even started one, and the case has changed to a new goal, so I have a feeling of constantly repeating.

In fact, no matter what you do, the fear is not that you will not do it, but that you have no heart. World-weary people are hard to deal with because people who pretend to be asleep can't wake up. But then again, if I did encounter such a case, I would also tell myself to slow down and not be so goal-oriented. Usually a person lacks motivation, most of which are the result of long-term accumulation, of course, there are also "Auntie, I don't want to work hard". The former is usually stuck with deep knots, maybe frustration, maybe low self-esteem, maybe not being recognized, maybe not knowing oneself.

And the fickle cases I have been particularly touched recently. This big boy Billy is very cute and has a lovable and sensitive personality. In the previous consultations, I thought that the two sides had reached a consensus, and the other party also agreed to move towards a certain goal.

I hadn't seen each other for a while, but we met again recently, chatting and chatting, and his goal changed again. I felt that our consultation card was off, so I paused the pace of progress and discussed this issue with him seriously. Only then did I realize that Billy didn't know what he wanted, nor did he have no motives, but he was too scared because he was taking a narrow path. He didn't know if what he was pursuing was right? Not sure if you can keep going? So much so that back in his daily life, as long as someone kept nagging by his side, he would succumb. "Fear" made him fickle, and it also added many variables to the effectiveness of the consultation.

【I learned self-disclosure during counseling】

Usually, when a client lacks self-confidence, encouraging the other party is also a technique I often use. However, such a deep-seated knot cannot be solved by a few vague words of encouragement.

Perhaps a similar feeling has occurred to me. This time, I didn't know where the whim came, so I naturally chatted with the case about my unique career transition. You know, in the past 200 or so cases, I have not shared my career journey. Maybe it's because you feel that the focus of consultation should be on the client rather than yourself, or it's like talking about yourself like an "informal chat", it feels weird, and you don't know what it's doing?

I began to self-disclose during consultation, but it was only a matter of two or three cases recently. But the magic is that the effect is unexpectedly good. I saw them with bright eyes and straight backs after listening to them, and their voices sounded different from before when they said their thanks.

In the past, I believed in the structured and logical counseling techniques of the "rational school", believing that this was the only way to help the case, indeed, most of the time.

But people are never machines, and there are always situations where they cannot pass the emotional and emotional level. At this time, it is useless to directly plug in rational things, and the other party cannot accept it. Even though I don't think I'm good at dealing with emotions, I always think it's a counselor's job. However, the "emotional side" that can connect with the other person's emotions is sometimes not that complicated. It just tells about the experiences and struggles one has had, and the process of how to overcome them. In this way, it is enough to be able to comfort the other party in a very specific way, or to give the other party a booster.

Psychology is something that I have been in love with since I was 26 years old, and I also fantasized that one day I could become my own profession. At that time, I was still a foreign business that had nothing to do with psychology. Unexpectedly, many years later, it really came true. As for career counseling, it is not only me who assists the case, but the case is also assisting me in many cases, opening my own boundaries and thinking about more possibilities. This is a career that can foster each other. I'm really happy to be able to get to this point and do a job that I love and are good at.

🌹I'm Aisha's knot-crossover career planning consultant. Through the pursuit and turning of your career, you are getting closer and closer to the life you want, and it can also help you move towards the life you want.

"Going all out to run on the track of life is not for the pursuit of success defined by others, but for the freedom you want."_Aisha's knot-TBFG_To Be Free Group

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