mother's elementary school

My mother was born in a family with many brothers and sisters who worked in agriculture. She was only one year younger than my oldest cousin. She was different from many girls in the 1940s and 1950s who interrupted their studies and started working in order to allow their brothers to continue their studies. The same are all dropping out of school because of financial constraints at home.

When my mother took the entrance exam for junior high school, her family went bankrupt because she sponsored others, and her pigs and bicycles were all sealed. The mother, who was admitted to the first choice, was still unable to get her grandfather to agree to continue her further education after lobbying by the teachers at the school. Her mother started her career after graduating from elementary school and dropped out of school.

About 30 years have passed since the first time I heard this story of "graduating from elementary school". Every time I heard my mother talk about "years ago" with an infinite sigh, I could feel the disappointment in my mother's heart for "not being able to continue to study", so I asked her, "So what did you think you could do?" In her mother's answer, I remember "lawyer".

A few times I also asked, "Did you go out to work and didn't want to continue studying?"

The age gap between a mother and her parents is often mistaken for a grandparent relationship rather than a parent-child relationship. When the mother began to have better financial ability to think "whether to make up for the lack of primary school education", the family's debts have not been repaid, the grandfather passed away prematurely and the grandmother also entered the stage of needing to be taken care of. Not long after the mother got married, she continued to bear a lot of financial pressure on her and her father's family. The matter of "going to school" was like a distant dream in her mother's heart, shelved in the most inconspicuous corner of her heart.

But mothers are different from other parents who force their children to go to higher education because of a lack of heart. I just keep listening to her talk about how regretful she is, or sometimes she shows a kind of inferiority complex that "I only graduated from elementary school" She is always afraid and worried that her education and literacy are not enough, and she uses a powerful weapon to stand up to resist those foreigners that may touch the deepest gap in her heart.

Mothers rarely use her gaps as expectations and coercion, demanding that their children must graduate from college and be admitted to their first choice, but keep repeating "If I can continue to study in that year..."

My mother said, "When I went to work in a processing factory, I went to make-up school with my colleagues! But as I got busier and busier, I didn't go to school anymore."

The mother always spoke with a bright face and a confident tone about how she was promoted among the girls as quickly as possible, won the appreciation of the factory manager, and became the team leader leading the girls. At that time, the mother will forget the lack of education in her heart, like in the photo of her in her twenties, she stands outstandingly in the crowd, and you can see her high spirits at a glance!

But my mother's fate seems to be irrelevant to "economic pressure". After carrying the debts of the original family, continue to face the barriers of marriage and money between yourself and your husband. It wasn't until my sister and I entered the workplace early after graduating from a junior college that my mother had the time to "think about what I want to do", but saying "advance to higher education" was no longer an option, especially reading those textbooks for "educational education". The gap in the "elementary school education" was like a scar left on her body that couldn't be removed, following her closely.

My mother began to learn all kinds of musical instruments. I asked the teacher to teach the piano one-on-one. I practiced seriously every day. When I was a child, she paid a teacher to teach me, but I couldn't sit still. I only learned simple staff, and I can play it fluently. Songs I didn't learn at all; my mother went to the Chinese Orchestra and learned the dulcimer, which was very difficult. In addition, my mother also learned ukulele, huqin, horizontal flute, drum (Chinese music), and every time I laughed at her: "My family is about to become a musical instrument."

Later, my mother went to the Japanese class of the National Salvation Corps to learn Japanese, and she could memorize the juju syllables faster than me. She always stared at the textbook that she seemed to be struggling to write down notes, and half-talked to me, "But everyone in the class is young, and I can't keep up."

The story of "My grandfather didn't let her continue to study, she only had a primary school education" is still occasionally told from her mother's mouth, with a deep sense of disappointment. One time when my mother was over 60 years old, I finally couldn't help saying to my mother, "Hey, it's been too long for your dad to be complaining about you like this, you should let him go." I think about that moment for my mother I should have wanted to strangle me, what rebellious child would talk like that!

But since then, my mother never mentioned to me the lack in her heart, the lack that she can't go back and change.

I don’t know if my mother ever told me later in my life: “I do everything well, and I work harder than others. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have an education, it’s just right to get up and learn when I want to learn. ”

I should have told my mother no less than ten times, "You're doing fine now. Your life may be a lot harder than others, but you've worked hard to get through it. That's fine."

Thank you to my mother for never asking me to have a certain degree with the fact that "I don't have an education" and letting me choose my own life; I also thank her for still being able to arrange and take care of her life after the age of seventy ( That alone makes her a lot stronger than anyone!)

I hope every mother can have their own life later!

actually. Mother's Love Series (Take good care of your mother, for children, it is also a kind of mother's love.)

Picture: 20090923 Qishan Life and Culture Park, Canon EOS 450D