My 2019 Annual Questionnaire

Although it is already the third day of the new year, it should not be too late to fill out this questionnaire. Looking back on the past few years, I have written a lot of words, and I have written sporadically and frequently changed tools. Many emotions and ideas have become waste paper, and I have either thrown them on the Internet or stored them in local folders, and never read them again. So every time it comes to the new year, when you need to clean up and summarize yourself, you seem to be facing a mess of documents.

Who made me only have "three minutes of heat"? At least 19 years ago. The brain is too easily overwhelmed by frustration to love anything for long. Afraid of the evaluation from anyone, and always shy away from doing things, so I refuse to step out of the quagmire while "swiping my tail in the paint". Although I have vaguely noticed it before, I have only recently begun to admit that these are indeed part of my personality.

Accept your many failures, and then you will be able to distinguish between your real life and your inner desires. Rationality brings courage, and it suddenly dawned on me that I could do so much. Change is not instantaneous, there are few things like Ma Yuetanxi in the world, but opening such a head before the end of the year will always add a lot of expectations to the future.

There are less than ten days left in 2019. Share an event that you didn't expect to happen this year at the beginning of the year? How has this event changed your personal life?

The most unexpected thing for me, aside from a major change in mood, was the discovery of Matters and my last internship. The two things that have changed me can be summed up in the same way: I have met a lot of authors, seen a lot of viewpoints, and my reading preferences have also been affected.

Say one thing that made you feel the most powerless in 2019. Did you try to change it? If you can't change it, how do you deal with it?

A series of events drawn from Hong Kong. I was just surprised and moved by what happened in Hong Kong at first, but then things got serious and the walls got steeper and steeper. On one side of the wall, those who try to bridge the gap are "killed" and interpreting statements are sins; on the other side it is prejudice that seems to elicit a louder voice. Communication has become almost impossible, let alone understanding. Hong Kong is not an isolated case. In the face of events such as Morey, Huawei, South Park, etc., where I live, all the different voices are instantly overturned, and replaced by the "official rhetoric" that cannot be denied. Of course I know that I have many limitations, and that there is more than one common sense in the world, but it is unreasonable that a super large group does not allow another common sense. And so, as 19 years drew to a close, I found it so difficult to get my relatives and friends who lived simple lives and subconsciously embraced collective leaders to try to understand the "other" culture. It was also after a dream—dream that I was on a deserted street in Kowloon, crying while listening to “Pearl of the Orient”—and then I realized how weak I was. Powerless. The rift will probably get bigger and bigger in the future. The civilized continent will also start plate drift.

In 2019, what made you feel most empowered?

Every dish I learned, every routine I remembered, every book I read, the tough scholar I met in the game, the lame rider in the comics... they all made me feel a great sense of realism. They are already on my mind and will give me inspiration and strength when I need them.

Describe a person you met this year who made you feel warm just thinking about it?

Two or three good friends, the earliest of whom met ten years ago. We would occasionally send each other a few favorite books, but flipping through our phones, we only talked about three times at most this year. This friendship has been maintained for a long time, but every time I think of them, I feel warm.

Is there a moment when you realize that time is passing, and do you panic about it?

In the second half of the year, I am preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. When I review mathematics, I can always think of high school. It has been more than seven years since I graduated. It's a pity that after so long, a lot of knowledge I learned at the beginning has been forgotten. On the contrary, the frequency of family urging for marriage has increased, which makes me feel that time has passed, and the days when I can spend freely are over. Don't panic, because you think you will live a long time.

2019 is also known as the " Year of Circumcision". In this year, is it easier or more difficult for you to stay close to friends, relatives, and lovers?

Even if there are things mentioned above that make me feel powerless, I have not separated from my relatives and friends. Maybe because I already have a lot of experience, when dealing with relatives and friends, I always keep a certain distance from them, so that I can warm each other without disturbing them too much. Geographically, it is not very far from most of the people I care about, which is also a very lucky thing.

How has your relationship with your body changed compared to a year ago? Do you like your current body more?

One day this year, I suddenly coveted my body and felt that I should follow the Greeks, so I started exercising, and it has lasted for more than two months, which is longer than in previous years. Should be getting longer.

Do you love the city you are in now? How would you describe your relationship with her?

Not to the point of liking, but I am also cultivating feelings with her subconsciously. It's a pity that after having a girlfriend, I became more lazy, and I didn't spare Beijing city like a few years ago. Still hopeful, looking forward to finding a few more favorite restaurants here.

Can you name a point of view that has been changed by others over the past year?

Influenced by my girlfriend, I have become more gentle with many things, and I have become accustomed to empathizing with others. Indirectly, I also began to contact more knowledge of brain science, psychology, society, political science and so on. Thank her.

Please fill in the blank: 2019, _____ matters

2019, Rational Matters

Finally, can you share your most frequently listened song, your favorite book, your most impressive movie or your biggest brain hole in 2019?

In 2019, I listened to the dance song "Boléro" the most. It can calm me down and accompany me to take a shower. The most impressive book I have read is Li Datong's "Freezing Point Story", which should also be one of my biggest gains in 19 years.