【If you want to separate】——Because I love you so I'll let you

"If you want to, separate."

After Lee Hyuk Jae got off the stage, he picked up his phone and sent Lee Donghae this sentence. Looking to the other side of the waiting room, Li Donghae was still fighting with Siwon, and the ok in his ear was conspicuous.

During the quarrel yesterday, Li Donghai was so angry that he wanted to cut his long hair, but Li Hezai rushed into the toilet in fright to stop him, but he accidentally scratched him when he took the scissors out, leaving a small wound, but seeing the blood seeping out, both of them were stunned. Terrified, relatively speechless.

Li Donghai spoke first, but he didn't call out the pain at all because he was afraid of the pain, and said in a low voice, "It doesn't hurt."

Lee Hyuk Jae didn't say anything, went to the living room to get the medicine box, let Lee Donghae sit on the edge of the bathtub, and gave him medicine in silence.

The atmosphere froze, and the sound of each other's breathing became a loud noise like a monstrous wave. Li Hezai's expression changed thousands of times. Li Donghai's arms were wrapped around his chest, and he didn't lose his breath. No one said anything until they went to bed at night. No more talking.

Seeing the message prompt, Li Donghae raised his head and saw the back of Li Hejae walking out of the waiting room.

Feelings of grievance, anger, and unwillingness surged up, drowning him, and he was about to drown. He closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. There were no tears, and he could not cry at this time. He never thought of letting go, when others said he was hot against Li Hezai's ass, when Li Hezai said he hated being clingy, and when Li Hezai alienated him and refused to let him approach, he never thought to turn around.

It can be said that he is stubborn. The first time he saw Li Hezai, he believed that he was his person.

It was his hard work to become a friend, he doubled his efforts to become a good friend, and it was just right to become a boyfriend. He told Lee Hyuk Jae that he liked him, and was suddenly kissed.

In this relationship, Li Donghai always seems to be in a weak position. He gives too much and takes back very little.

He liked it a few years ago, but if the future is still like this, will he still be willing? If Li Hezai wanted him to let go, if Li Hezai regretted being together, would he still be willing to keep it again and again?

Li Donghai looked at the empty corridor outside the waiting room and lowered his eyes.

Lee Donghae did not respond to messages. Lee Hyuk Jae looked at his phone every ten seconds, which made Cao Kyu Hyun very upset.

"Then if you care about Brother Donghae, just call him directly." After drinking the soju in one gulp, Cho Kyuhyun said with a frown as he picked up his chopsticks to eat the side dish.

Lee Hyuk Jae glanced at Kyuhyun and was speechless. Yeah, why not call him? But what to call him? What if Lee Donghae really said he wanted to separate?

Li Hezai hummed and laughed, it was clearly what he said, why is he afraid to hear the answer now?

He has always known that Lee Donghae likes himself very much. Li Donghai was his little tail from the beginning. Li Donghai liked to stick to himself. He would blink his eyes and ask him to watch a movie with him in the middle of the night. He is not stupid, Li Donghai's little thoughts represent love, he knows it.

It's not that he doesn't really dislike Donghai, he just doesn't understand why Donghai likes him, so he wants to keep his distance, for fear that Donghai, who has repeatedly broken through his own line of defense, will see his true colors clearly. If that day comes, Donghai finds out that he is not what he thought. If so, will he not be needed anymore?

Li Hezai was apprehensive, but Li Donghai didn't give him room to be uneasy. He kept breaking in and out. He had to know all of Li Hezai's secrets. Li Hezai took one step back, and Li Donghai took three steps forward and approached him regardless of Li Hezai's objection.

Lee Hyuk Jae is still very scared, afraid that Dong Hae will leave him after knowing that he is not such a good person.

This fear was his biggest secret, and it was also the reason why he was reluctant to express his feelings to Donghai, but when Li Donghai said he liked him, he couldn't hold back and kissed him.

Together, there will be a day apart. Lee Hyuk Jae has been waiting for that day to come. Being with Lee Donghae is very sweet and happy like never before, but why does a good person like Lee Donghae like himself? Li Hezai didn't have any confidence, he couldn't make any promises about the future, because he couldn't believe that there was forever, the weight of the promises was too heavy for him to give.

If Li Donghai wants to, he can leave at any time. As for himself, just wish him happiness where he is. This is the best thing he can do for Li Donghai.

When Cho Kyuhyun was drunk, Lee Hyuk Jae circled him and took him back to the room. Looking at Kyuhyun sleeping on the bed, Lee Hyukjae sighed, thinking of Lee Donghae's sleeping face. He didn't drink a drop of alcohol, no matter how annoying he was, he didn't drink because Li Donghai would be worried.

Pick up the phone, still no message.

He clicked on the message bar with Donghai and searched for "love you". During the year we were together, there were more than 30 messages that mentioned "love you", only one was sent to Donghai by himself, and the rest were Donghai. said to him.

The day he told Donghae that he loved him was a very cold winter day. He attended the funeral of a friend of the same age alone. At that time, Donghae did not accompany him because of work. Lee Hyukjae suddenly missed Donghae very much, and he thought of staying with Donghae. The picture of his life, he has always loved Donghai, but he never said it, because he was timid, because the future was too far, and because he had no confidence.

In the face of death, life seems even shorter, and the music is suddenly interrupted like a rest. No one can guarantee that who will see the rising sun tomorrow, and whose life will come to an abrupt end before the night comes today.

So he told Donghae that he loved him, and even went to the jewelry store to buy a pair of rings. He didn't give Donghai the pair of rings, he just strung his own ring on a chain and wore it as a necklace. Li Donghai asked, and Li Hezai said that it was given by his mother to keep him safe, but Li Donghai didn't say anything more.

This is Lee Hyuk Jae's secret promise to himself, he knows he loves Lee Donghae, and if Lee Donghae wants something, he will give it without hesitation. Even if it means that if Li Donghai wants to leave him, he can only let it go.

Doorbell rang. Li Hezai stood up, glanced at the clock, it was already one o'clock in the morning, was the manager suddenly returning to the dormitory to get something?

Opening the door, Li Donghai's unkempt hair came into view, his eyelashes were covered in snow, he was wearing a mask, and he was wearing a plain black down coat and black pants. He didn't take anything and just stood in front of the door.

"It's cold, why are you here—" Before Li Hezai finished speaking, Li Donghai stepped forward and hugged him, wrapped his arms around his waist fiercely, and buried his head on his chest.

"Li Hezai, I don't want to be separated." Li Donghai's voice was muffled, coming from his chest. Li Hezai's heart seemed to stop, and the hand holding Donghae froze there, as if tears were about to slip out of his eyes. I don't want to part with you either. Li Hezai wanted to shout out, but the words were stuck in his throat and he couldn't say a word.

"You also make demands on me, okay? What do you mean if I want to, we will separate? Then do you want to separate? Does your opinion not count?" The circles are all red. Li Hezai shook his head, tears also flowed down, biting his lower lip to restrain himself from crying, but his emotions collapsed when Li Donghai held his face with both hands.

Like watching out for the flood when it collapsed, Lee Hyuk Jae cried like a child and couldn't stop crying. He crouched on the ground and cried a lot. Lee Dong Hae also squatted down and hugged him in his arms. He slowly followed Lee Hyuk Jae's back. No matter how much comfort he didn't stop him from crying, he just accompanied him silently, passing the warmth on his body to Li Hezai, who was wearing thin clothes.

"No," Lee Hyuk Jae finally breathed and choked out, his eyes lowered to the floor, a few tears fell on the ground again, he wiped his face with his hands and looked at Lee Donghae in a daze, "I didn't want to part. "

"Then don't let me go. If you don't want to be separated, just hold me tightly. Don't ask me if I want to leave, because I don't want to, and even if I say I want to leave, you can't let go easily." Stop, slowly flow down like fine water, although the lips are trembling but the words are firm.

"I know you're afraid, I know you don't think you're worth it, but I can do my best to make you not afraid, so can you also give yourself more confidence, can you believe that I can't do it without you?" Li Donghai said with a trembling voice. After thinking about it for a long time, he knew what Li Hezai was afraid of, knew Li Hezai's biggest secret, and knew that Li Hezai was willing to be a victim just because he loved him, but Li Donghai didn't need Li Hezai's needless concession at all.

He wants Li Hezai not to be afraid, wants Li Hezai to say what he wants, and wants Li Hezai to believe in their relationship.

Li Hezai paused, wiped away his tears, and looked at Li Donghae. Li Donghai's eyes are very bright, because the tears are more divine. At this moment, he is full of his unique sincerity. He knows that Li Donghai does not lie, and his every word is sincere.

"It's me... I didn't do it well, I'm sorry to make you sad." Lee Hyuk Jae wiped away Donghae's tears with his fingertips, his voice was choked up, it seemed like he couldn't cry enough tonight, the tears flooded over his reason, all Self-defense and doubt were swept away.

"You didn't do anything wrong, I just asked you not to push me away. I love you very much, you have to believe this, don't push me away just because you doubt yourself." Li Donghae took Li Hezai's fingertips and held him tightly. palm.

Lee Hyuk Jae lowered his head and kissed Lee Donghae's forehead, and hugged him into his arms. Tears began to fall again. Lee Donghae's words were like a reassurance pill. He found that as long as Lee Donghae was there, he would not be afraid of the storm, because Lee Donghae was his tree. the root.

"Yeah," Li Hezai replied in a low voice, burying his face in Li Donghae's hair, and inhaling the faint scent of nectarine blossoms on his lover's body, "I love you too." This confession was almost inaudible, but Li Donghai heard it.

Lee Donghae burst into laughter, pushed Lee Hyuk Jae away, raised his hand under Li Hyuk Jae's suspicious gaze, and showed it to Lee Hyuk Jae.

On Lee Donghae's ring finger, he wears a pair of rings bought by Lee Hyukjae.

"I already knew it was a pair of rings," Li Donghai smiled warmly and proudly. He wrapped his hands around Li Hezai's neck and took off his necklace. Li Hezai's ring was hanging on his fingertips. Two identical rings were in Dazzling light reflected from the door lamp. "I was waiting for you to give it to me, but you were too slow."

Lee Hyuk Jae also laughed, this time the tears flowed from happiness. Lee Donghae took the ring off the chain, took Lee Hyukjae's hand carefully, and put the ring on his ring finger.

There was no need for words at this moment, Li Donghai looked at Li Hezai, his eyes filled with warm light and moved tears, Li Hezai grabbed Li Donghai's face and kissed it gently and firmly.

"I promise you won't let go casually," Lee Hyuk Jae pressed against Lee Donghae's ear, promising to his lover, "I promise you, too, that I won't stop loving you."

Li Donghae shrank in Li Hezai's arms and sighed contentedly, "Hezai, you are the best thing that has happened in this world."

Lee Hyuk Jae wanted to cry again, but he hugged Lee Dong Hae tightly and replied with a trembling voice, "You too."

"Don't ask me if I want to separate. It's normal to quarrel, it's not just quarrels that will break up." Lee Donghae said solemnly, he knew that Lee Hyukjae was very uneasy about emotional maintenance, and if something went wrong, he felt that the world would end. Yesterday, he was injured because of arguing and arguing. Maybe that's what irritated Li Hezai.

Just thinking about it, Li Hezai gently kissed the place where Li Donghae was sticking to the ok stretch.

"Does it hurt?" Lee Hyuk Jae lowered his eyes and asked, his voice was calm, but the tears that were about to fall betrayed him again.

"It doesn't hurt," a warm palm covered Li Hejae's face, and Li Donghae leaned up gently and kissed the tears from the corner of Li Hejae's eyes, "but if you're worried, kiss me more."