210115

I'm so bad with myself.

I had a cup of hot coffee in the morning, but I was still groggy. I ordered another cup of frozen coffee for lunch. When I waited for the order, I realized that the discomfort might be due to overdose of caffeine, but it was too late, so I drank a half cup. In the afternoon, I went back from the library and communicated with my friends. I thought it was caused by caffeine and ice. I promised to drink more hot water, and then turned around and drank a whole cup of frozen milk tea. When did this happen? It doesn't matter if you wear less, don't eat, use caffeine to relieve headaches, and use melatonin to treat insomnia. When I was at home, my mother wouldn't let me wash my hair after dinner, thinking it was not good for my health. Of course she wouldn't know that my hair is still half-drying at two o'clock in the middle of the night every day.

But I think everyone is like this, they are bad to themselves, and they take care of others in a good manner, just like my mother was always told by others how to be so tired and lost so much weight. Go to bed early to eat well and not save money.

When I came back after five o'clock and washed my hair and couldn't sleep, because I promised others not to play with their mobile phones, I simply took out the words of Lin Xi that had been borrowed for a long time and would fall into dust. I remember that he was asked in a recent interview by others, to the effect of why he redeemed/liberated so many people, but in the end he couldn't redeem/liberate himself. I read a few of his texts and chewed on what he wrote: I thought it was a transition, but I didn’t expect it to be like this. I looked around and couldn't find it. I think what he wants to express should be to pass, but in terms of words, it is not as good as to pass, but it doesn't matter. I was arrogant enough to think that I could explain these truths too. The downside is that, apart from pondering over these words, I couldn't find any big truths that would make me wonder and clap my hands hard.

That's right, I used to feel that I was clumsy and indifferent and would not be able to comfort others, but now I realize that it is so easy to teach others the great truth, and a reasonable person will not believe the truth that he speaks bitterly and painstakingly! But I don't know how much people who listen to reason will believe.

When I was taking a shower in the evening, I couldn't help but think of a corridor I passed by in the morning. I used to joke that I was the butterfly in the lyrics for ten seconds of memory, but I always remembered the details of the feelings very clearly. I thought there were only a few songs that I listened to at certain times that would evoke certain memories in me, and I just cut them off, but I didn't expect the location to do the same. I remember that when I walked from one end to the other, once I was looking for the way, once I was looking at the pier, once I sat on the arm of the sofa and waited, taking pictures of the sea next to the shutters with sunshine, I could clearly feel that The tension and anxiety at the time, even the air-conditioning is exactly the same, but I don't know why it feels air-conditioned in winter. I also remember when I walked from that end to this end, a group of people finished dinner, one time I saw a poster that made people a little excited, and a few times I ended up at the end because of the chat.

I didn't want to remember it so clearly, but all the memories suddenly caught up and haunted me. Those scenes seem to be two worlds from what I'm experiencing now, but it's really what I've experienced. I don't want to chew on it anymore, because I don't know what mood I should use, and it's extraordinarily hypocritical to miss or resist. So I should regret that I suddenly interrupted the ride offer in the morning and took this shortcut. But it's not necessarily a bad thing, you shouldn't feel the impact if you get used to it!