Listen to the song and talk about love (3) If not because of loneliness.

I like to ask my friends who are trapped in love a question: "Why do you need love? 』

Because I found that most of my friends actually believe that love is unpredictable, so I always like to fall into it when I encounter it, and I want to feel the romance of the soaring heart, but how to welcome the spring light brought by love, why do you need Love is actually two things. If you don’t need love at all, why do you have to follow the trend and get caught up in it and cannot extricate yourself? Not everyone has to plan a love-related itinerary in their life journey.

The sweetness of love is indeed desirable, but the subsequent marriage of love and the various realities that need to be faced with starting a family and starting a business are definitely not such a brilliant dream. In recent years, Taiwan has an average of one out of every four marriages, and one pair divorces. The statistics behind the divorce rate, which is the highest in Asia, have actually provided an angle worthy of serious consideration.

Not only Taiwan, but even neighboring Japan has been blowing the so-called "divorce trend of elderly couples" in recent years. Under the thinking of "holding the hand of the child and growing old with the child" depicted in the traditional Book of Songs, the highest level of love that everyone desires, Why in Taiwan and Japan still maintain the traditional concept of marrying for the sake of inheriting the lineage, and under the influence of the culture that emphasizes family harmony, has there been such a big change in recent years? I am afraid that this cannot be interpreted simply by a popular phenomenon.

Because no matter in Taiwan or Japan, there is no absolute relationship between divorced families from the past to the present, and the level of education, rich and poor, and domestic abusers are no longer just the lower-educated class and men in the traditional impression, and since they are elderly Divorce of husband and wife is the case of people who insist on breaking up even when their life is approaching the end of their lives. The impulsiveness of youth.

Behind these social phenomena, many different levels of human nature are involved, and traditional family, marriage concepts, generational value differences, global and regional cultural trends, and even the presentation of religious concepts of life and death are worthy of special articles by interested people in various fields. to explore.

Here, I would like to share that if we want to avoid a lifetime of happiness halfway through, should we first try to return to the single theme of love, that is, whether you are single or married now? Divorce, single parent or on the verge of love or Friends whose marriages are broken are actually a question that everyone should think about, a question that goes back to a question earlier than "the beginning of love": "Why do you need love?"

Some friends hesitated for a long time, but couldn't say why, while some friends cut in from the perspective of biology, saying that human beings are also a kind of creatures, and when the time comes, just like other creatures in nature, As soon as everything wakes up in spring, once the biological clock is adjusted to the cycle of love, a strong desire for love begins to arise; some friends, thinking from the concept of human beings living in groups, talk about the traditional needs of inheriting the lineage and starting a family and starting a business. Through the mutual support of the two, the ideal of creating a glorious life together, etc., explained the long-term blueprint of their need for love.

Or another kind of pragmatic friend, who just wants to make the rest of his life easier, so of course, he must work hard to find a stable long-term meal ticket. Not only can he save decades of struggle, but he can also enjoy prosperity, wealth, etc., and some Friends grow up in an environment that lacks the warmth of home, so after growing up, based on a mentality of making up, it is natural to want to have their own home, and love is only a way and a process for him to achieve his wish.

There are also reasons caused by the scars of the past. People who have been baptized by wars, like our previous generation who experienced the first and second world wars, or people in the current Ukrainian-Russian war area, because of the war. The ruthless destruction of life, understand the impermanence of life, but also know how to cherish the love between people, so I want to find a soul mate of life to make the sky of life more abundant;

Of course, there are some friends who are neither of the above, but feel that the above statements are too long-winded and hypocritical, and they also feel that they need love. There is no need to give a lot of high-sounding or metaphysical reasons, just a simple sentence "I'm afraid of loneliness, when I'm tired, I want to Have a shoulder to lean on. '. Or simply say "There's no reason not to, it's just love!", because for them, talking about love is simply wanting a warm hug.

"Lonely Sandbar Cold" HD MV, video quoted from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a57dX74X5gM

The song is included in Zhou Chuanxiong's "Legend under the Starry Sky" album released in June 2005

"Lonely Sandbar Cold" Lyrics: Chen Xinrong Music / Arrangement / Singing: Zhou Chuanxiong

#Since you left, the heart is haggard and white tung is flying in the wind

Falling flowers are like human beings this season

The wind on the river bank is desperately blowing for no reason, fiddling with Liren's tears

Such a strong love can no longer be sad night after night

When the thread of memory wraps around the past, the past is fragmented, panic takes over the heart

There are flowers accompanied by butterflies and lone geese can fly in pairs, wandering alone in the dead of night

When happy lovers send red to share joy

Still picking up all the cold branches, unwilling to rest, with a little regret

Lonely sandbar who should I miss#

## repeat interlude

When the thread of memory wraps around the past, the past is fragmented, panic takes over the heart

There are flowers accompanied by butterflies and lone geese can fly in pairs, wandering alone in the dead of night

When happy lovers send red to share joy

Still picking up all the cold branches, unwilling to rest, with a little regret

Lonely sandbar who should I miss

Still picking up all the cold branches, unwilling to rest, with a little regret

Lonely sandbar who should I miss

I don’t know if you, who are reading this article now, have ever asked yourself, why do you need love? If not because of loneliness, what kind of reason is it? If it is because you are afraid of loneliness, what preparations have you made to face the various tests in love?

For many friends, the appearance of love always comes uninvited, and leaves after saying that. The method change is called "luck". Although in the process of falling in love, hard work is necessary, but everyone also understands that hard work is not completely proportional to the result, let alone if you are unfortunate enough to meet a love player. , Because these scammers are naturally good at playing and manipulating love, and even making a living with this game. If you run into them, the twists and turns in love may be even worse than the nine bends and eighteen turns of Beiyi Highway. To be dizzying.

In fact, falling in love is like planting fruits and vegetables. Before the harvest, there will inevitably be wind, rain or insect pests. Each friend loves different objects, and their luck will naturally vary accordingly. If you are lucky, you will get melons and beans and beans. As long as you plant the seeds step by step and work hard, you will be able to enjoy the sweet fruits of love, but even if you are so lucky, you have to be patient and wait for the result. But there are some people who are impatient, can't stand loneliness and don't bother to wait.

So when we talk about love halfway, some people turn around, and some people want to directly eat other people's hard planted crops, so in the original simple love, risks and distresses are born; of course, some people are not so lucky in the way of love, Along the way, I encountered wind and rain, stumbled and stumbled, and unfortunately, I also encountered a typhoon, an earthquake, and a tsunami. No matter how much effort you put in, it would be in vain in the end.

Every day I go online or open TV and newspapers, and watch the shocking domestic violence incidents in the news, I can't help but think, what kind of turning point is it that the two parties who were originally affectionate can change to be mutually exclusive and have to go to the Are you arguing and hurting each other? When the two sides frequently blackmail each other emotionally in the name of love, and desperately compete for the only real resources left after their relationship, whether it is people or money, people can't help but suspect. Why in the first place?

When I was in a hurry to find love in the crowd, I couldn't wait to have the courage to fall into love. Is it just a momentary, tender and bewildering desire to enjoy the sweetness of love, or an impulsive and reckless sensibility regardless of the consequences? However, even though there are many people who have been hurt for love, and friends who repeat the same mistakes over and over again, they have never been missing for thousands of years. The sad stories seem to be constantly being staged as time goes by.

At the end of love, what is the pursuit of the human heart? Is it the physical warmth of each other, or is it a sense of security that is interdependent between the minds? Whether it is the former or the latter, then why, on the way forward hand in hand, he destroyed all the hard-earned things with his own hands?

There may be many reasons or phenomena that we cannot find from a rational point of view, or it may only be possible to use people’s hearts, which are inherently diverse. Human nature’s liking for the new and disliking the old has created such surprising or embarrassing endings. There is another possibility, which is due to people's confusion about the time-space encounter of love. It is simply because the entry point of the two people's meeting time is wrong, that is, I often hear friends talking about the so-called meeting too early or too late. regret.

However, of course there are some people, but they don't care about the time error at all, or they are self-confident, and they always like to challenge high difficulties in love. Mixed battles are staged every day among lovers who were originally in love with each other, and there are even friends who fake past and present lives to rationalize their own affairs and derailment. In today's society, it seems that these are no longer a new thing. .

Fortunately, not all lovers' encounters are so tragic. Many times, whether the ending of love is successful or not, or whether love will fall into the paradox of wandering and changing, seems to fall into the "early, late, right, wrong, more, less". 』The sequence of the use of the six words, when it comes to the origin of love, can really have two people meet at first sight. Giving more and giving less, because of the subtle human nature, has become the original sin of whether the love between the two can develop smoothly.

Often when one party finally mustered up the courage, decided to accept the other party, and began to try what might be a gorgeous adventure in life, but at this time, because the other party could not wait and secretly gave up, the love that seemed to be absent, reappeared. Quietly go away. It is only because when people meet each other, they are often at different stages of life, and they have different hesitations in considering various factors such as investment in love and reality.

Therefore, if there is no observation and communication for some time, often after devoting wholehearted love, due to the tortuous test of some realistic environment, the fire of love ignited between the two will be quickly quenched, and then the enthusiasm will fade. Sometimes, some friends begin to feel sorry for themselves, or because of love and hatred, provoking a long drama of mutual torture and revenge. This is actually because before the beginning of love, they have not thought about why they need love?

As a result, some discouraged friends began to believe that in love, it was so difficult to believe in a person, and it turned out that love and courage cannot stand the test of time after all, but the root of the real problem, apart from thinking at the beginning. Knowing whether you need love or not, once you are in love, it is probably due to lack of sufficient communication, or it should be said that communication has a dead end because of temporary emotional ups and downs.

Because in the past getting along, there have been too many shadows under the inability to communicate calmly. Therefore, as long as one of the parties closes the door of communication and sentenced the other to death in his heart, the whole relationship will be withered to ashes; even worse, when love begins, the two parties who are willing to hold each other together because of love. However, when there was a rift in the relationship, he chose to use silence to express a silent protest. Perhaps it was really because he had given the other party too many opportunities to atone for his sins, but the other party made mistakes again and again. !

At the beginning of love, the hearts of those who love each other are innocent, but in the process of mutual exploration of love, the damage of words gradually becomes a disaster. When it comes to the end of love, the silent silence has become the biggest hit at the door. harm. Friends who have had actual experience know that in the face of unclear love going away, the injured party is often called, and it is more difficult than death in the heart.

Only waiting for the time to heal the wound, let yourself walk out slowly, until one day, maybe you will start to think like this, the beginning that shouldn't be, will eventually return to the original point, so I bless the other party and let the other party go. I hope that in the future, the lives of both parties will have a brighter turn of events, and finally lead to a day when the sky is clear and the sky will go smoothly.

Everyone has their own love philosophy. Even two people who love each other are not necessarily similar. When they like someone and decide to love someone, some people will exhaust their enthusiasm early and want to grasp the two The happiness between individuals; it is only the final exchange, but it may be endless suffering and disappointment, and finally, step by step, to the final heartbreak. But a heartfelt love is always worthy of encouragement.

The journey of love often begins with endless sweetness, which often makes people ignore the storms and pains that they may face next. After being injured, many friends often struggle with self-questioning and self-answering. What they don’t understand is why the other party can express their love so easily at the beginning of the encounter, but at the beginning of happiness, they choose to exit silently. Leaving the people and hearts who truly love him (her) in the same place will hurt the heart so deeply that only those who have really experienced it will understand.

In the end, it seems that I can only say to myself that it is really difficult to get to know a person. Perhaps when love is far away, only by choosing to leave can the abandoned heart find an exit, and therefore live more freely and splendidly. The spring of love, no matter where it goes in the end, the process should at least be a rivalry that comes and goes, but many friends often find out that there is a third in the world of the two after they have invested their sincerity and affection. Even the fourth and fifth.

Or there is no so-called third party, but I found that from beginning to end, I have been playing a one-man show of telling the air that I love you, because the other party loves himself, always more than himself; You can really deceive yourself, relying on what you vaguely remember, when the other party started the love game, that little bit of sweetness was close to charity, but now the distant memories survive.

For some people, the purpose of love seems to be just to enjoy the beginning of the encounter, the short but sweetest period of spring, the joy of just interacting and exploring each other, which really makes people happy and happy. But friends who are obsessed with love, as time flies, after getting along with more ordinary but real disputes between the two, they slowly drift away, although they gradually understand themselves from getting along, no longer The protagonist in the other party's heart, but there are always some friends who like to choose at this moment, obsessed with the so-called "true love touches the heart" old adage, obsessively believe that as long as you are willing to continue to give your sincerity, let the other party see and feel love, you can leave longer and farther.

And because I love each other deeply, I hypnotize myself and say, "It's hard to find the right person, and you can't give up easily. 』Because I never thought of giving up, so I did everything hard, in order to make the other person happy to come back, I wanted the other person to be moved, and I asked the other person to remember that they can wait, and they will really always wait for the other person's sincerity to settle down. The problem is that the other party is not the "right person" at all. No matter how much investment you put in, it's actually just useless entanglement, because the other party's heart has long since left, and your inextricable sincere feelings have never caught his eye at all. Don't say you want to impress him.

On the road of love, there are too many places to learn, not just wishful waiting, let alone living in the imagination of self-hypnosis, if you want to find your own happiness, the order of "early, late, right, wrong, more and less" , has its own ingenious place. At the beginning of love, you must first figure out the emotional state of the other party. Because there are many examples around you, it is inevitable to encounter liars on the road of love. Some people deliberately conceal their emotional state, so it is necessary to Through mutual observation and communication, gradually understand and then invest.

Because if it is based on the premise of a lifetime of happiness, then it is not too much to spend half a year to a year getting to know each other. Who cares so much, in fact, such inattentiveness, or pretending to be unrestrained, often becomes the beginning of inexhaustible problems in the future. Since love is a test of chasing, running, jumping and bumping, it is too strategic and scheming. Good, but it's completely undefended, and if you let others attack the city and plunder the land from the beginning, you can't get along with yourself.

First find out if there are really only two people in the emotional world of two people? If the meeting time is right from the beginning, it will save a lot of unnecessary struggles in the future; only when both parties are single, Only then can we enjoy the beginning of concentrating on being right, and then we must observe whether the other party is the right person. At this time, in addition to continuing to communicate with the other party, we must also learn from relatives and friends around him or her. The theory that the thief catches the king first is only used when discussing the second half of the marriage.

In the first half, the strategy of "encircling the city from the countryside" may be more effective, because a person's face at work, family and love is often different, so if you only look at the face of love, it is easy to be a one-sided observation, but for In the future, when the love between two people changes from strong to dull, his dedication and attitude towards family and work, as well as the sense of responsibility he shows, becomes a very important factor to consider.

In fact, love has never been and is hardly the whole of a person's life. This is not just a scene to comfort a friend who has lost love, but about the future, when two people go from love to marriage and family life, when romance Passionate love, with the passage of time, gradually transformed into a family relationship, a solid test of "love is easy to get along with" is in front of you, constantly testing the IQ and EQ of the two.

Look at the successful cases of the previous generation and support each other, you will understand that the passion in love is temporary, but the reality test when two people get along is a lifetime. How to take care and balance well lies in First, think about whether you need love or not.

If you need it, what do you want in love? After careful thinking and careful selection of suitable candidates, in order to make the later life walk smoothly and steadily.

The so-called finding the right person does not refer to the other party's family property and academic qualifications, but to whether the other party is suitable to stay with you until old age. If it is just because of temporary covetousness, whether it is material or emotional dependence, then It is easy to make a decision. According to the observation of relatives and friends around you, separation is a decision sooner or later. Sometimes the longer it drags on, the more complicated the level and factors will be, because what is involved may no longer be just the love between the two Hate and hatred will even affect the life safety of the next generation, not to mention that if there is a next generation, their love and family views will be affected.

So if your love is not love because of loneliness, then congratulations, you have got off to a good start.

If you can still make rational observation and analysis about the meeting too early or too late, etc., when you meet at the beginning, before you put too much effort into it, to find out the other person, is it the "right person"?

Then, what you have to face next is from the relationship between love and marriage to entering the marriage and family, and the only remaining question - on the scale of love, do you choose to give more or less?

There is a song "Invisible Wings" that Zhang Shaohan once sang, around each of us, there is a guardian angel of life, not the one of love, because according to legend, angels cannot fall in love, and guardian angels will always be by our side , protecting us with his invisible wings.

So when you feel tired and tired on the road of life, you don't have to jump into the abyss of love in a hurry to find a shoulder or a hug, because your guardian angel will always appear to take care of you at the right time. With you, I will give you the courage and wisdom to start again, as long as you learn to wait patiently.

Angela Chang - Invisible Wings (Official MV), the video is quoted from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be2wvNFTLMc

Invisible Wings Lyrics and Songs: Wang Yajun Singing: Zhang Shaohan

Every time I wander and be strong in loneliness

I don't cry every time I'm hurt

I know I've always had invisible wings that took me through despair

#don't think they have a beautiful sun

I see that the sunset will change every day

I know that I have always had invisible wings that took me to fly and gave me hope

I finally see how loud the young singing is, all dreams are blooming and chasing

I finally soared and stared at it with my heart and I was not afraid to fly as far as there would be wind.#

Interlude Repeat##

Invisible wings make the dream last longer than the sky Leave a wish for yourself to imagine

(Note)

1. The MV is quoted from the works of Zhou Chuanxiong and Zhang Shaohan. The copyright belongs to their respective music companies and uploaders. There is no commercial use purpose, and it is purely for creation and appreciation.

2. The lyrics are reproduced from ※Mojim.com Mojim Lyrics.com.

3. The copyright of the original image and text of this article belongs to SJKen Qingyan Piaoguo. Please share and reprint it after indicating the original author and the source of the article for non-commercial purposes. If you want to transfer it for commercial use, please obtain my written consent first. Misappropriation must be investigated, thank you.