Perth Diary, Day 268: What does love without substance look like?

I have never been a person who attaches importance to formalism, and I am also a person who does not like the sense of ritual, but when I really started to understand the meaning of "meaning", I began to gradually attach meaning to many things and deepen my subconsciousness, which will give Many of my behaviors increase the source of motivation.

I have had complicated emotional experiences in the past. To say it is complicated, it’s not that my past was very emotional, but that I have suffered from severe emotional injuries. It hurt so much that I was so hurt that I was tired of being hurt, but thank you I can’t help but fall into meditation The habit of thinking, I have extracted lessons from every past experience to guide myself not to make mistakes again.

Until today, I have been able to form my own understanding of life and love, and I can agree with most of the conceptual views formed by my philosophical predecessors in the past.

The vast majority of people's understanding of love not only cannot stand the test of reality, but will also mislead themselves to find a road of no return that started wrongly.

Because these concepts about life and love are not something you think about, and the vast majority of people are unable to distinguish the wisdom of philosophical truth from the dross that people flock to under the mainstream.

The reason why wisdom is rarely accepted by people is that it takes a long time for wisdom to be understood. The reason why dross can become the mainstream is that it not only sounds beautiful, but also can be used to cover up most people's need to improve themselves. The difficulties of life have become an excuse for adults to explain and cover up their unfortunate lives.

A truly mature love is based on mutual appreciation, and this appreciation should be based on personality traits, not material things, beauty, external conditions, etc.

The reason is very simple. Once the basis of mutual appreciation changes, love will no longer exist. The latter is very easy to change with the changes of time and environment. Only personality characteristics are difficult to change, especially the basic values such as honesty and kindness. .

Love must be changing. To obtain stable love, you can only find constant factors in the changes, such as the direction of life that grows together.

In this process, once someone falls behind, the foundation of mutual appreciation begins to collapse, and love will disappear by itself.

I don't agree with describing love as a responsibility. Only the weak side will use the moral high ground to bind the other side by their side, and such an ending often does not have any good results.

Human nature is like this, the more you are restrained, the more you will be able to break free, whether it is for children or for love, we cannot change human nature, we can only adapt to the weakness of human nature and think of a real solution.

Russell said:

Love flourishes only when it is free.

The idea that love is some kind of obligation can only kill love.

Just one sentence: You should love someone is enough to make you hate that person.

Immature people, I mean people who haven't thought clearly about what they should pursue in life, let alone think about what kind of love they should be looking for.

As I mentioned in the previous article, one person's copy is already the simplest, and any other person's joining will lead to more serious difficulties that require linkage operations.

life, from love to freedom

When you are pursuing your own life path, you will have the opportunity to meet fellow travelers in the same direction. When you have not set off, you will not find the most suitable person, and you will not attract people in the right direction. people.

Those who want to attract love through material and appearance will pay a heavy price in the end. It doesn't matter whether they admit it or not, because no one can replace the person who bears the consequences. The first step in growth is to recognize yourself. Mistakes, the second step is to take due responsibility for your mistakes, and finally have the opportunity to achieve real growth.

This principle is applicable no matter on the road of life or the concept of love, and I have experienced them one by one: growth must exist after paying the price, otherwise the same mistakes will be made.

When you say, 'You don't, you don't love me. 'You are not trying to keep love, but you are kicking love hard. When you want to restrain love with behavior, you are poking a wound in another heart. If there are too many wounds, love will naturally is gone.

Don't believe that love is eternal and other nonsense, people will change, how can love have a shelf life.

A stable love requires both parties to grow together. When the basis of appreciation is gone, even if the two parties are forced to live together, it is nothing but the imprisonment of two lives and the future of two lives.

It is very difficult for a person to grow up, and a healthy love is even more difficult. It first needs to be built on two mature personalities, and then both parties need to appreciate each other's characteristics and tolerate each other's existing flaws. Insufficient, therefore, immature people cannot get mature love, but immature love can promote a person's growth, and if you experience it with your heart, you can find the direction to improve your own weaknesses.

Because all the people and things experienced in life are ultimately to promote our own mental growth, and no matter how far our mind grows in the end, it will pass away with the demise of the body, leaving behind the path of wisdom in your life It is to allow your thoughts to continue.

It is understandable that teenagers can live and die for an impulsive 'love' stimulated by hormones because they are not rich enough to experience the world. exist.

why don't you want to get married

No matter how vigorous the beginning of love is, it must return to the daily life of firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea in the end. It does not mean that love must have a material foundation, but that love must finally withstand the test of daily life and getting along day and night. The test of living habits, behavior, and concepts comes from whether the foundations of the three views are consistent, and whether they really appreciate each other's personality characteristics.

Does love exist without material things? exist. You don't believe it, so you can't find such love.

The other party with good external conditions is your luck, but this luck will also hinder your persistence in the essence of love, which is another kind of misfortune.

My wife and I have no bride price, no diamond ring, and even no ceremony. Many people will say that I am so lucky to meet such a girl, but I said to her: I can’t give you the material that others envy, but I have faith Take you to a free place to start your life again, break away from the influence of your patriarchal native family, and live out your own life.

And today, we did.

I was indeed lucky to meet her, but I will definitely encounter such a love in my life, because of my belief, encountering a situation that requires externality and I do not provide it will be the beginning of another opportunity for me.

When you specialize in your own growth, you have the chance to meet a partner who appreciates these traits.

What does true love, love without material things look like? When you have enough beliefs to perfect your own personality characteristics, when you don't compromise for reality, you will have the opportunity to meet.

When you do this, I'm not sure if you will meet it, but I know that if you can't do it, you will definitely not meet it.

Although you can't hope that healthy love can last forever, but healthy love must be flourishing at this moment.