Perth Diary Day 266: Personality flaws limit your ability to be happy in the moment

I still remember that when I saw that chat record for the first time, I felt resentful for a long time. Looking back at myself now, I can already tear up this sentence, thank you for all the setbacks I have experienced in the past, and gave me the chance to be born again.

There is an old saying that character determines destiny.

Based on my acquired learning and my own experience in life, I think many people have misunderstood this passage too deeply. Irritability or gentleness is just a small manifestation of personality characteristics, and personality is not eternal. Therefore, a person can make up for and enrich his personality defects through acquired learning, and a person's fate will also become different with the supplement of personality characteristics.

And a person's personality characteristics at the moment can not necessarily explain his current fate, everything has a cause, maybe a person will be living at the peak of life at this moment through the accumulation of luck, and will have a personality in the later period. guideline, slowly heading for decline.

In particular, whether a person's personality characteristics are mature or not is reflected at all levels. With the intervention of the spouse, the education of the children, and the judgment of the overall trend of the world outlook, a person's life path will become complicated. At the earliest stage, it may be just a person. Gradually, the individual's attitude towards difficulties, whether he can handle the relationship with others, insist on the truth, etc., the attitude of the three views began to replace a person's learning ability in the student life and life. control strength.

Whether a person can thrive in childhood or even as a student is more determined by the financial conditions of his parents, his own level of intelligence, and the good study habits learned from his parents, but even a child who studies well , as you get to work, fall in love, get married and have children, the happiness of life will no longer be determined only by learning ability, but more balance of personality characteristics is needed to balance.

Therefore, with a certain amount of life experience, we will begin to find that students who have studied well, get high salaries after graduation, and after entering middle age, they gradually fall into life difficulties in various interpersonal relationships.

How to measure whether life is happy or not, most people think of it as material, but in fact material can improve a person's living conditions, but it can never restrict a person's life happiness.

Is it possible for an individual with a lot of money to be happy if the relationship between his partners is not harmonious and the personality defects of his children are very obvious? This is what I mentioned when getting along in interpersonal relationships will magnify and expose a person's personality flaws.

What kind of partner an individual can finally find seems very accidental, but in fact it can be found with reasonable explanations, and it must be restricted by his cognition.

A person who keeps his promises and is kind is unlikely to marry a person who is false and glib. If such a thing really happened, there must be his reasons, or he was too cowardly, trapped by the pressure of his parents and the environment, or his cognition of mate selection was too limited. It is certain that his later life was very difficult. It's hard to express happiness, and this is a real example of him needing to pay for his personality flaws.

The consistency of the three foundations is the foundation of marriage. If you carefully observe the union of those happy couples around you, you will probably not escape this truth, and unhappy marriages are mostly limited by the personality defects and cognition of the parties at that moment deviation.

Just as machismo girls hate the inequality between men and women in their original families, but in the end they will still choose machismo boys as their spouses. In machismo places, no matter boys or girls, most of them will end up looking for mates in their native families. way of combining. The combination of these two different geographical conditions is a problem of continuing the original family.

A Balanced Marital Relationship Is the Shortest Path to Happiness

A person's life situation is already the happiest moment an immature individual can live. The addition of a partner will amplify the constraints of the defects in the three views on life happiness, and the addition of children will be another kind of amplification.

The growth process of children will be the magnified carrier of the personality defects of the couple. If the parents cannot continue to correct their personality defects, and the children cannot recognize the problem and learn the correct way to correct themselves in the growth environment of the original family, then the children will It will be a disaster for the couple to pursue a happy life in the future.

In particular, our traditional culture is not like Western culture. When children become adults, they are allowed to face the challenges of social life independently. Many parents always serve as their children's backing, which not only restricts their children's growth, but also needs to be responsible for their children's various behaviors. , Pay a heavy price for your incorrect parenting views.

So far, we can already see that the happiness of a person's life is far from being determined by the learning ability of the student period alone.

No one is perfect, and people are learning the day after tomorrow, struggling with difficulties and gradually becoming mature, but there are also many people who stop growing early, so it is very important to acquire the continuous learning ability for personality improvement.

Hypocrisy, the number one killer on the road to personal growth

The attitude towards challenges is actually the only truly valuable knowledge that children can learn from their parents. Parents try to minimize the chances for their children to face difficulties alone, and use their parents to handle all difficulties in the face of setbacks. Restricting the opportunity of another individual's growth will also plant a bomb for the happiness of the parents themselves.

The road to life is very long. Whether in the workplace or in the field of love, many of us face more selection of a person's ability, but few people judge a person's future potential from a person's personality characteristics.

No matter how excellent a person's learning ability, work ability, or even material affluence when he was a student, it is difficult to judge his mastery of life in the future and the degree of happiness in life.

Our judgment of a person should start from his personality traits. Personality traits will change in the day after tomorrow, but some basic qualities are hard to change, such as kindness, honesty and truthfulness, these are the qualities that guide a person to continuously improve Boosters of personality traits that are truest especially in the individual's way of coping in the most difficult situations.

Frustration is the best moment to test a person's quality, especially a person's coping attitude is the most convincing. Optimism, pessimism, or letting the situation develop can reveal the essence of a person.

It is these forks in life that guide people who were once on the same starting line to completely different life paths.

Therefore, whether it is due to one's own growth needs, the choice of a spouse, or the cultivation of the next generation of children, it is always the most important to cultivate a kind, honest, and authentic noble soul. Compared with it, the cultivation of ability is the most important thing. It is a manifestation of excellent quality in the world, not a focal point.

Only with excellent ability, without the support of personality charm, it is impossible to make great achievements. Sometimes, before the personality characteristics are enough to support the achievements, the praise of ability will make people fall harder.

Because, we have to take a long-term view, happiness is not only determined by this moment, and the winner in life is the one who laughs at the end.

But it is a pity that most people will be short-sighted. In addition to not having enough persistent beliefs to support themselves, having the courage to break through the cognitive defects of the past will also scare most people.

Often the wise old people who have gone through the world begin to value a person's character more than ability, perhaps after they have a deeper understanding of happiness.

Only a person's personality characteristics really restrict whether the ability has a sustainable learning ability and limit a person's potential.

life goal