Perth Diary Day 248: Three types of people dominated by 'inferiority', and the confident 'chain of contempt'

For a specific understanding of people's behavioral motives based on inferiority, you can refer to Adler's theoretical books.

Adler has a very good saying that a person's life is a life of training.

Studying the psychology of others, thinking about human nature, and repeatedly correcting mistakes in reality. It is a process of self-training, making mistakes in training, reflecting and growing in mistakes.

But just like everyone understands books according to their own life experience, not everyone has enough life experience to understand this subject, so I prefer to use my past life experience and my environment to explain my experience.

Inferiority will accompany us throughout our lives, and the two attitudes facing the inferiority complex will catalyze three different life directions. Adler's psychology mentioned two.

The first type of people , in the face of inferiority, chooses to use the method of covering up, which belongs to the reverse compensation range of inferiority, and is not a truly correct way to deal with inferiority. At that moment, life will stop growing, and the level of life will stagnate on the weakness that leads to the formation of inferiority complex.

To truly further improve the level of life, only when we truly face our weaknesses from the heart and overcome them in the correct way can we enter the next stage of life growth. But the wrong way to deal with inferiority will waste a lot of life time, and once the way to cover up inferiority is formed, it will take more courage to break yourself and deny the way of dealing with the past.

Such people are all around us, for example, we often say "show what is missing". A person who is materially inferior will show his inferiority to others as much as possible when he suddenly gains money, such as show Package show car logo. In fact, this is because he himself has been frustrated with money and has an inferiority complex, so he would do such a behavior, but in fact, such behavior is just exposing his inferiority complex.

There is also a crazy obsession with cosmetic surgery. Of course, most people can understand it as a person's pursuit of beauty, and others have no right to interfere, but a person who has no inferiority complex in appearance will not make crazy changes.

The huge coping methods of this type of people and the second type of people in the face of inferiority, I think it is more related to the personality characteristics of not admit defeat, but the way to be stronger is to cover up the weakness of inferiority, rather than really admit the weakness fundamentally , and adopt the correct way to overcome the weakness, which leads to the misunderstanding of life.

The biggest characteristic of the second type of people , I think, is that they have not found the correct way to solve their inferiority complex. This type of people accepts their own destiny as inferior to others in their hearts. The hope is to gain the approval of others by meeting the requirements of others. He is a common good person. Many people may say that others cannot evaluate the happiness that a person who likes to help others can obtain, but in fact, a person grows into a personality with confidence. Before independence, it was difficult to truly gain a real sense of meaning from caring and helping others.

Of course, it is impossible to judge a person's behavioral motives and logical methods from a few words and two or three ways of doing things, but clues can be found from a person's overall lifestyle, mental outlook, and state of mind.

For this type of people, I have seen many people finally awakening, and finally no longer hope to meet the requirements of others to obtain friendship and love, but the arrival of this time point is long or short due to the life experience and the awakening of the soul , comes too late and there is no remaining life time to complete the accumulation of self-confidence, to achieve personality independence and even complete self-realization, or to die without awakening, leaving only the reputation of a 'good person' for future generations.

But in fact, compared with the first type of people, it is easier for this type of people to cross the inferiority complex and enter the correct transcendence range in the correct way, because once they enter the reverse compensation range of the inferiority complex, they will be under the psychological effect of self-protection. The barriers are made stronger.

The last type of people , driven by the motivation of inferiority, gradually finds the correct way to overcome the weakness of inferiority.

The first step is to recognize the source of one's inferiority complex. After continuous attempts, one finally overcomes one inferiority complex in the correct way, and then begins to form the correct method to gradually overcome other sources of inferiority that follow, and gradually forms growth in the process of transcendence. type personality, and finally self-consistent as a person with independent personality.

Personality independence, in my opinion, is more like a sign of mental maturity. It is the starting point for finding the meaning of life, the sense of mission in life, and entering the self-realization of life.

But no one is perfect, and inferiority will accompany a person's life and is also the source of a person's growth .

The opposite of inferiority is self-confidence. Self-confidence is a flower that may grow in the wrong place, but even if it grows in the right place, it needs constant watering to promote growth.

The chain of contempt for self-confidence does not exist in itself, but the firmness of the foundation will lead to whether self-confidence will eventually blossom or not.

For example, the state of showing off wealth mentioned above may not only be the source of a person's inferiority complex, but also a source of self-confidence. Before his self-confidence traits, wealth may be a source of his self-confidence.

For example, a person who is as beautiful as a flower will build self-confidence on the basis of appearance before establishing self-confidence from a deeper inner level, and the pursuit of others around him will make him contribute to this unstable self-confidence, let him ta go further on the wrong road, until the flower of self-confidence withers.

Another position that I think is more controversial is the shaping of physical ability, which is also a process I have gone through.

A lifestyle of self-discipline through exercise is helpful to help a person’s inner growth, but there are many people who stop in front of regular exercise until they find that the real purpose of exercise is for themselves, not for showing off capital.

I think a person can awaken his soul only after he has been frustrated or has been isolated from the world and starts to search for the things that truly make him happy, and he has the opportunity to start looking for the truly valuable flower of self-confidence. The growth position comes from the development of the mind.

Therefore, any other point of self-confidence will be eclipsed by the self-confidence of the mind. The self-confidence of the mind can give a person the driving force for continuous growth, and will not stop growing because of the amount of material, the decline of appearance, and the deterioration of body functions.

The growth of thinking must be based on his own life experience, and cannot be obtained only through thinking and learning.

But good seeds do need good guidance, which can help us avoid detours. Philosophy cannot take a path in life for us, but it can point us to a path.

Self-discipline, self-confidence, freedom, self-improvement.