The Perth Diary Day Two Hundred and Sixth: The Revelation Between Life and Death

In the past 34 years, I have experienced many times between life and death, as mentioned in previous articles, from a young age in a swamp and almost suffocated in the quagmire; I started thinking about the meaning of life in high school, and I learned more about it. He was awarded the title of Prince of Melancholy; after breaking up, failing in postgraduate entrance examinations, and when his family was in trouble, he had no way to get rid of the pressure and took the initiative to seek death.

I'm not quite sure that these lives and deaths have given my life revelation, these are more accidental and my own hypocritical behavior in my opinion.

The first time that really touched me the most was when I participated in the winter swimming activity in 2015. A friend of the medical doctor who was the director of the department was hit by a yacht and died, leaving behind the new born second child and a full-time home wife.

For the first time, I really started to think about the distance between life and death, maybe it is very close, the biggest touch for me is to cherish every minute and every second, do what I really want to do, when the god of death comes Will not regret the past time.

The subconscious is not formed in a day, but I think these past experiences have gradually contributed to the firmness of my inner desire, but I know that I can't tell what my desire is, what my life goal is, and what I want to be. People, I just gradually can no longer accept any constraints from others, whether it is parents, relatives, or superiors.

The first life and death that really contributed to my awakening was the car accident in 2016, which happened one year after my father passed away, and the night when I was ready to compromise with reality and buy a house to live in Chengdu.

Sure enough, it was like the letter I wrote to myself in 2015, which almost became my last words a year ahead of schedule.

A passing Mondeo knocked me into the air, and for a short time, it was just long enough for me to think, "This is my whole life?" Then I hit the ground hard, and I remember holding my left leg that was ripped apart. , wailing to passersby, my legs.

Frankly speaking, this accident did not change my thinking drastically, it just broke the idea that I almost wanted to settle down. The more social injustices I experienced after that gradually made me completely dispel a stable life. I started to realize that I would never be able to integrate into this environment with the attitude of others, so I could only start to change soil for myself, for myself, and for the continuation of my family’s genes.

The next life-and-death experience led to a huge change in my thinking. When I decided to go camping on the island, I thought about the difficulties that the harsh environment would bring to me. I just didn’t think that I would be on the island the next day. Going into the sea to fish, almost made myself never able to return to the island.

This should be the first time after I became a freediving instructor that I felt that my skills were insignificant in front of nature. Even a trivial current in the sea was enough to make people unable to survive. I wanted to give up drifting downstream. Despair is still vivid in my memory.

What I didn't expect was that a global pandemic disrupted my two-week experience of camping on an isolated island and turned it into three months of thinking about life, especially after I had just experienced life and death.

81 days of lonely island camping

The contemplation of a person in a tent has made me the greatest spiritual treasure. I have experienced a typhoon night in a tent. When I wake up, I have been soaked in the rain. I have also experienced that I can't catch fish and have no food. Eating hungry.

What touched me the most was the death of a few newborn cats and dogs in front of the tent. I hated myself for not taking care of them as much as I could before they died, and I couldn't accept that I died in a corner that no one knew about like them. Turned into smoke and dust scattered everywhere in the wind, this is by no means the destination that I have gone through countless hardships and tribulations.

This life-and-death period also made me start to think about taking care of other lives and helping them within my capacity to give them a chance to survive. It may be the value of my life.

So after the island was unblocked, I went to the newly established cat and dog traffic center on the island to volunteer for three months. My thoughts also began to change during this process, especially when I started to think, when I had spare energy to Take care of cats and dogs, why not help poor islanders who have lost all sources of income and are struggling to make ends meet.

I began to think about how to help the children in simple and poor families with a long-term perspective and help them establish a longer-term environmental awareness. This is the original intention of my environmental protection plan on the island. At this time, my life, My thinking and my actions have begun to be noticed by more and more people. I know that my influence is very small, but this newly opened window allows me to begin to know that a person's behavior has an impact on others. As a result, this unnoticed change gradually became my conscious direction and goal.

This conscious behavior with the goal of influencing others in life has gradually become the meaning of life that I have found, that is, to have a meaningful impact on the life path of others through the continuous practical actions of one's words and deeds. The role has become the meaning of my life.

Perth Diary Day 90: Who I am and what I do

But I also have to admit that this kind of behavior actually changes me the most. When you have to align your words and deeds with your thoughts and thoughts, you will build up your own strong heart.

But when I began to find that it is so difficult to change an adult's thinking, an adult's three views have been shaped by his past life experiences and family influences, he can find countless reasons to prevaricate others for the changes he can't make, It was also the point where I started to change direction and wanted to start influencing children’s education, but when my online English school opened for two years, I gradually began to realize that the greatest influence on a child will always come from his parents. , others have no chance to play a certain role in it, but learning an open language also provides a potential possibility for children to find life by themselves, but it has also become the consensus of most parents, and this has become the only opportunity .

Looking back on the life changes in the past, the perception between life and death is the most touching opportunity for me, whether it happens to myself, others, or other types of living beings, whether it is my own deliberate death, an accidental accident, Or the thinking conditions between life and death that I created for myself unintentionally, changed me the most.

Maybe you don't believe it, but now I have no fear of death, no fear of prison, no fear of material conditions, because I have begun to find my own way to realize the meaning of life, and on this road I can find sufficient Reasons to make myself feel the value of life, no matter whether the ultimate goal can be achieved or not, I can no longer do more, because all things need the test of time, any great goal is in the ordinary small and trivial things Passing through, all you have to do is to wait for the flowers to bloom in the usual efforts without slackening.

When I can find meaning in your ordinary life every day, it constitutes the source of my happiness, and hard work has become the source of my hard work. I think this is what the life and death I have experienced in the past brought me. Greatest revelation.