Advice from Tricycle Drivers: Getting Married? Make a list and think about it! | The sixth round of the war on gender-based violence [International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women 09]

One time I took a tricycle in K City, and the driver was an aunt who was about 45 years old. She saw our two little girls, liked it, and started chatting with us.

"You guys, don't get married so early!" Auntie's topic hit people's hearts.

"Why?"

"If you don't get married, you can take care of yourself, at best, your parents, siblings. When you get married, you are going to help your husband's family as a free labor force!" Auntie said while driving.

"How about you, aunt? Are you married?"

"I did! At that time, I worked outside as a cow and a horse during the day, and went home at night to continue to be a cow and a horse! So I left!"

We were amused by our auntie's affectionate words: "Your husband... Doesn't your ex-husband do housework?"

"He? Little girl, I tell you, don't marry the men in K city, they will eat and play, go home and lie down like an uncle, cooking and everything is my job!" Auntie patted the front of the car angrily .

Because it was a fast-driving tricycle, we were too frightened to stimulate our aunt. But my aunt continued: "You know, I used to be a skilled worker in a factory, and my level was not low. Many young people would call me Master Chen when they passed by."

The sun was a bit dazzling under the scorching sun, and my aunt took out her black glasses with one hand: "But the workers in the factory say that I should get married when I am old, and every day someone tells me to fall in love and get married, but I don't even know it. Is there something wrong with me? The last leader introduced me to the dead man. At that time, I was ignorant, and immediately became pregnant with my eldest daughter. The factory leader came to me and told me that it would be better to resign and go home to have a baby. You can also go back and continue to be my Master Chen. In order to save money, I could make any promises. I saw that they said it so emotionally, so I agreed."

"What about after the baby is born?" We seem to have guessed the ending.

"After giving birth! Just know! It's fake!" Auntie's tricycle banged over a speed bump. "It's all fake! After I go back, where will I still have my position. I didn't sign any contract or something. The factory often advertises that there must be trust between people, saying that our factory is a home-like culture, where do we need it? This kind of law has rules and regulations. Hey, when I say it, I feel childish and funny." Auntie really laughed hahaha.

We are sad and helpless. "Then your ex-husband had a job at that time, would he take care of you?"

"Take care? He exploded as soon as he saw me giving birth to a girl, you know not. The first day I gave birth to a girl, and the next day he talked to me about having a son for a while. He knew everything about her daughter. I don't care, he really has nothing else to do except give me 1,500 yuan a month after going to work to make a household!" Auntie calmed down at this time, it seems that she has told others a lot about the bitterness of marriage. Second-rate.

"When my daughter was a little older, I came out to look for a job, but there was no one at home to take care of the children, so I couldn't find a higher-paying job like before. Later, I had to do some part-time jobs, washing dishes and toilets, etc." When my aunt talked about her previous job, she was still very embarrassed.

"That's why I said you little girls don't get married so early. My damn ex-husband, I have to tell his nephew that day, it's fine for you to get married early, and you should be an extra babysitter. After you get married, you come out to make a lot of money. It's great to have a woman watching for you! I heard these words, and I almost didn't go up and slap them in the mouth. But I held back." Instead, the aunt was proud that she didn't slap her ex-husband twice.

But we were all so angry. "Auntie, will your life be better after your divorce?"

"Oh, what should I say? Divorced women are very shameless in our hometown. Fortunately, I can now settle in this city with my daughter. Otherwise, if I were in my hometown, I would have been embarrassed." A car, we hurriedly grabbed the handrail. "When I'm not married, I'm free, and I still have money to spend every month. I'm so happy. After marrying that dead man, it's like working for him for nothing. I have to take care of my daughter, and I don't have any money! Men taunt me when I don't have a job, as if it's a gift for him to bring some money back every month. My friends all say I'm getting divorced! Now that my daughter has grown up to go to college, at least I don’t have to take care of her anymore, and I also bought this car for a little money to solicit customers, and my life has become a little more comfortable!” Because of the fast speed and wind, the aunt’s words almost shouted out. of.

After Auntie finished the story, we were shocked that we had reached our destination. We didn't know what to say, so we could only get off the bus quietly and give money quietly.

Auntie found the money and said to us: "Don't be afraid, I'm not saying that all men in the world are like that dead ghost, I mean, if you want to get married, you have to think about it carefully, it's better to make a list! "Auntie gestured the shape of the table: "write the advantages, disadvantages, income, free time, who has more relatives, write them all, and then conclude after careful consideration!"

We nodded and said yes, and then watched the fast-paced aunt disappear at the end of the road on a tricycle.

Further reading:

A word that irritates single men and women: When are you going to get married?

Do women get married when they get older?

Good girl, don't get married before 30

 Please respect the originality and protect the copyright. This article is the original work of the special writer of Jianjiao Tribe. Welcome to reprint, but please keep the text of this paragraph: Reprinted from the Chinese Women Workers' Rights and Life Information Platform - Jianjiao Tribe (jianjiaobuluo.com). and retain the following author information.
Author: Ms. Zheng. Like any eldest sister, there is a vicious life wisdom between her eyebrows. She is a feminist, she is a female worker who sells her labor for a living, she is the incarnation of a witch, and she is a scumbag's nightmare.