根叔|gunshock
根叔|gunshock

⎡邊緣回望後,滑進一界混沌,從不掙扎。跟自己的過去過不去,執著地浮沉著。⎦ Still hope/to hand stitch my book/of ups & downs on a tightrope./No plan to elope/coz it just chokes.

|Take care of yourself|820 days

(edited)
2022/113

Another old story.

Have a pre-dinner drink at the bar at Soho House Hong Kong. 2020/1/20.

Although I have seen the exif of the photo, it must be a day in two years, but I clearly remember that those days I was in the Upperhouse that I have not seen for a long time. I was in the toilet early in the morning trying to beat the resistance of constipation for two days and you came up and said you had to take me there that day and then told a story while brushing my teeth. Through a thick glass, your mumbling has changed seriously, I'm afraid I heard something wrong. Because of your improvisation I know very well, but I haven't seen this kind of casualness a few times. 100,000 whys, I didn’t ask, it’s more important to call first to make sure it’s open. I don't care about everything the same, but my experience tells me that the boss won't be able to endure the breath that can't be swallowed behind closed doors, and then I will be very innocent.


You try to keep giving, but it may not always meet my needs. But it was my unhealed wound, not a hole you could just poke. I've been gritting my teeth and enduring the pain because I understand you want me to be better off than I am now. I am your comrade-in-arms who slept on the sofa for ten years. I never blame you for misinterpretation and wishful thinking. My bottom line has already faded a lot lower than my bottoms, but it's not a pure deal for your one-night couple, one hundred and two mosquitoes.

I didn't complain to anyone about how difficult the process was, why can't I live my life well? I may have chosen irrationally to face it myself, but, I almost got through it, just a little bit...

It's okay to sprinkle salt without intention, why do you want to dig into my wound?

It's been almost four years since I fell into the bottom of the colorful valley, counting my fingers. It's not clear who pushed me down from behind. The resentment and worthlessness I felt at the beginning were gone.

I changed my mind. At the edge of the cliff, it was I who decided to follow you. But you didn't fall in, I did, and you didn't even think about pulling me.

Between 2020/1/24 and 2022/4/23, there are 820 days. Of course, I don't use that strange idiot language. Let's be honest, not even au revoir, so that's it.

*****

' ▋|閖絔盩pici|One watch, go to Mingxuan; roll a cigarette, write down an article. In the three hundred and sixty days of 2022, I will try my best to continue to be sloppy, in order to maintain the messy hair and life. Only when I am not awake is willing to look at the six ways to make up for omissions. ▋

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