Written after being bombed by Weibo for the second time

I have a total of 3 Weibo accounts, one was originally called "Who is the Shadow", and then changed to the name of the Queen of the North, which I liked very much in "Fullmetal Alchemist", and I used that name for about five or six years. Later, because of the concerns of relatives and friends who were troubled by 3D, I couldn't express it to the fullest, so I applied for a new account "This family cannot fail", moved all my existing friends to the new account, and changed the old account to the world It's a mistake, and the traces of previous interactions are cleared to make a thorough cut. Frankly, because I don't want the social networks in my life to know my positions and tendencies, and I don't want people to see me as a sensitive and eccentric person, it increases my social pressure. And I'm not interested in having an in-depth conversation with them either.

"This family must not go bankrupt" exploded a year and a half ago, and "Yin and Yang" exploded last month. From my limited experience, I feel that the mechanism is probably "formal censorship of accounts with little influence, and substantive censorship of accounts with large influence". I'm the unlucky guy who didn't make serious remarks and was shot innocently because of keyword strafing.

The last one is a trumpet account that I have registered for many years. It has never been shown to anyone before. It is only used to record the broken thoughts of some young girls, such as "The person I like feeds me fried rice cakes!" Jewelry particles such as these are rarely opened, and occasionally When you look at it, you will feel that you are very cute and happy because of it. It is such a small box to entertain yourself.

But this year, the situation has changed. In a relationship, I informed the other party of my account number, and his ex-girlfriend also knew this account number. Although the relationship has ended a long time ago, I don't know whether the other party and the lady will continue to see rape, so I should not post my photos on this account. As you all know, I hate being stared at and judged, whether malicious or not.

When the first number was bombed, I was in shock for a long time, and the second number was a little numb. At first, I just felt that I lost motivation, and I really didn’t want to write anymore, because I didn’t know when I would win the lottery again. As long as I continue to express, there will be risks, but this consequence is really hard for me to bear, and I even feel a little melancholy when I think about it. I have used that account for ten years, and even though it has been reorganized and renovated many times, it still has more than 4,000 Weibo content. I still remember when I first signed up for it in high school, I was a little girl who liked to bookmark all tutorials, and the occasional update was also a retweet. Because at that time I thought everyone on Weibo was too powerful, with mature ideas and precise expressions. I just wanted to be an appreciative audience. I felt like I had nothing to say, my thoughts, my words were worthless and would only be a joke. In the fourth year of using Weibo, I began to post some daily routines, and in the fifth year, I began to publish some assertive conclusions when reposting. I was always shy about expressing it, I felt that the gap between me and the bloggers I followed (including some of my friends here) was too big, I was not interesting, and I didn't think or say anything wrong. It was not until the second half of 2018 that the content of more than 100 words began to be published frequently. It took me a long time to learn that any idea, as long as it comes from my own serious thinking, is nobler than everything. In the summer vacation of 2019, I took a class in a dance club near my home. The teacher told us in the last class that expressing ourselves is a very happy thing. I replied at the time: "But I can't get pleasure from expressing, I prefer to listen." Now I'm not like that. I think in the process of expressing, I'm very, very happy, and a lot of things are said to help I think more clearly.

What makes me happier is that people have been listening to me all the time. I often clean up my fan list, so the 172 fans in the account are one of the things that inspires me - everyone is because of an accidental misunderstanding in the ocean of the Internet, seeing me, loving me, and choosing to continue reading mine Express. Some are bloggers that I follow for a while and go back to me. This makes me feel that I have been growing up quickly in the past few years, and I have grown up to be a person who can communicate rationally with everyone at the same level. I have also received private messages from many people in the background expressing their thanks and blessings to me, saying that because of their attention to me, they feel that life can be free and beautiful. As I said, I have built a happy foundation of "I just need to be myself, and many people will love me. I am worthy of being loved and treated with the best", and the establishment and solidity of this foundation are indispensable. These private letters and the help of all the friends here, I am a good learner, and everyone is my good trigger.

So when I didn't want to write after the bombing, what I regret most is that my disappearance has made those who once gained strength from me lose a little bit of beauty. I would love to continue helping them, but I can't now because even if I go to inform them one by one, I won't be writing anymore. I thought about it, since I don't write, it's meaningless to follow me, so forget it, just tell a few friends and neighbors who are related to each other, just use it as a connection. But unexpectedly, several people found my Douban, or this account. So I, a severe daydream patient, had a feeling that I had given up after being abducted and sold, but I was moved by my relatives and friends who were anxiously searching and pulling out of the vast sea of people. Everyone makes me feel that my existence is very meaningful to this world, and that my disappearance will be noticed. Even if it is a cyber love that meets by chance, everyone can spend some time and energy trying to find me. of. Thank you very much for your love, I can become a shining princess 00, and it is everyone who lights me up. Just as I never imagined that my little thoughts could comfort and encourage so many people, you may not realize that your often unconscious behaviors are also meaningful to me.

I haven't thought about how much and what to write in the future. This is my last number, and there will be no more bombs. It's all natural.