Mood Essay│For the first time, I hope that life can be repeated

In the past, if I was asked a question like "If you could rewind time, when would you like to go back?", I would always answer, "No, although there are many times when I look back on it now, I feel that I handled it well at that time. It’s not good enough or mature enough, but it’s all because of those cornerstones that I am who I am now.” It seems to be a feeling full of cherishing the present or cherishing the current situation.

However, I don't know if I have been locked at home for too long, or am I lost in the game called life that I can't quit?

Being chased by work items that you don’t like, being overwhelmed by the pressure of life, and being completely wounded by reality.

In the years after graduating, I have finally found ways of reading books and watching animations to let myself have some entertainment and relaxation, but I can see from it that I am full of regrets about my life.

I can't help but think: If only I had started doing something at the time, if only I hadn't given up at that time, if only I could have been a little more brave...

I've been thinking about this lately

"Youth is a day when nothing happens" Shunji Iwai

Perhaps the hardships and burdens of reality in adulthood will indeed make people feel that the days of youth are sunny!

Or the consequences of those who are not brave enough, that is, everything that youth wants to happen has not happened.

The three years of high school that didn't burn out seem to be a period of time that I still regret to this day.

During that time, we began to feel uneasy about the world and ourselves. We didn’t know what value we had for the people around us besides the goal of “going to university”. But what school can I go to? What do you miss yourself?

What is the future? Should we plan for ourselves? Can we plan it ourselves?

At that time, even if there was anything he wanted to do or something he was unwilling to do, he was trapped as a "high school student" and couldn't move.

It should be the invincible period of hot youth, but I want to go home every day. Very gloomy.

The friends around me also have their own inner battles to fight, their own enemies to face, and their own and the world’s needs to run in, so it’s hard to see driftwood that can be caught.

The idols that I longed for and worshipped at that time, the idols that shined because of the realization of their goals in life, are far away from the confusion of the eighteen-year-old. Desperate youth also can't see how much effort an idol has made before being seen.

At that time, my vision was so narrow, so narrow that I couldn't see myself, nor the world around me, and I could only see the blemishes that cast a dark color on my life.

After the efforts of the university, the university community life is very happy, and there are not too many regrets. But now I feel that I played too much at the beginning, thinking that the school said that the soft power cultivated in the club can really come in handy in the workplace.

It turns out that there is really nothing in the world that is unearned, things that have not been worked hard, things that are abandoned halfway, and will eventually come back to remind you on the road of life. There is no foreign language to study, no career plan with determination, no set goals...

Many friends say that I am a person with great ideas, but now it seems that I only have ideas. Action don't know where to go?

It was only when I grew up that I realized that the people who can be seen have made amazing efforts in places where they can't be seen.

I hope to start with small goals now, so that at the age of thirty-five, I can't hope that my life can be repeated like this.

The epidemic has suddenly slowed down everyone's life. It is indeed possible to take a good look at what went wrong in life and what went wrong in life. Let's correct it as we go! It's not only life that can't be turned back, but every minute and every second that passes mercilessly.