Official Diary｜Untitled

Yesterday was the penultimate consultation before I left the stage. I confirmed with the counselor that I could continue the consultation if I felt necessary after I settled into my life abroad. After confirming this decision, I actually felt a little complicated. It was a bit like a child learning to ride a bicycle and preparing to remove the auxiliary wheels. Unexpectedly, consultation has become a habit for me - it is similar to paying two per month. Qian Yuan confirms his will to live.

However, this time the consultation came back to the same theme, and it was talking about "intimacy" again. I seem to have been wandering in the same place, but compared with me at the beginning of the year, I can now separate myself and use As a third party, I looked at the past me with the counselor, and said with a smile: "It's really stupid! How could I be so stupid!" In the end, we also came to the conclusion that maybe that person would do whatever he thought of. , careless and reckless, I successfully saved my life now.

: At least you are not the kind of person who is very delicate and rigorous, otherwise...

: Otherwise, would you be like Lin Yihan?

: Yes, maybe.

Perhaps those disorderly or harmful behaviors in the past became a protective mechanism that prevented me from seeing only one option - death.

Well, thinking about it this way, I suddenly feel that the brain is really powerful.

: But you have to remember that such a "protection mechanism" may be effective in the short term, but it is unhealthy in the long term.

:good!

Nearly seven years ago, I wrote a letter to myself in 2023 (if I remember correctly) through the post office’s future letter function. I didn’t expect that I would no longer be in Taiwan by then; I tried to change the delivery at the post office a few days ago. time, but maybe because I went to a small post office, or maybe I didn’t write down the mail number at the beginning, in short, I had to wait until I returned to Taiwan from abroad before I could see this letter. Now that I try hard to think about it, I can't remember what I wrote seven years ago. I just remember that I was writing it, and my mentality was like writing a suicide note.

Can time really make people forget?

If possible, I would also like to have some memories removed from my head, like the fact that I forgot every word in the letter seven years ago; like the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", you can pay to have the memories removed from your head.

But if possible, in those painful memories, I still hope to say sorry to those who have been hurt by me.

Want to write another future letter to yourself?

Where will I be and how will I be remembered in the next seven years?