【How do you know if you are overconfident or overly inferior?】

I believe everyone should go through these two stages:

1. Overconfidence: I once felt that I was the invincible player in the group, only I was the best and everyone else was wrong.

2. Excessive low self-esteem: Maybe because of a temporary failure, you are very unconfident and constantly blame yourself, feeling that you are no better than others. (imposter effect)

In fact, these feelings are very normal. In the process of human growth, there will be success or failure, and these results usually affect our mentality.

These two states are actually very easy to be noticed by others. Everyone must not like the people around them constantly bragging and showing off themselves, but in fact, he is not that powerful; or he has always lacked confidence in himself, and needs to constantly seek approval from others, which will also make people feel too vulnerable.

So how can you avoid being overconfident or overly inferior?

[Know where you are on the "confidence-experience curve"]

The self-confidence-experience curve is most often referred to as the "Dak effect", but it doesn't quite fit the concept the Dak effect is trying to convey (but I won't explain this specifically today.)

This curve can be broken down into four stages of human growth:

1. I don't know I don't know (until the hills of ignorance )

At this stage, people actually know very little. However, because he doesn't know that there are people outside, there are days outside, so once there is no one around to remind him, he will fall into a state of infinite self-confidence.

At this time, the state that radiates from the inside out will make people uncomfortable, and often belittle others to strengthen themselves; but in the eyes of powerful people, he is nothing but ordinary.

2. Know that you don't know (the bottom of the crash)

Until people start to encounter some setbacks and encounter many more powerful people, they gradually begin to realize that they don't know anything.

At this time, I realized that I was very small, but when I encountered more failures, I would reduce my confidence to the lowest level.

3. Know that you know

When you realize your failure, you will be very unconfident, but you will also be willing to keep learning to improve yourself.

However, in the process of improving oneself, although the ability has been continuously improved, the self-confidence may not be returned (there is a painful experience in the front), which leads to the "impostor effect" that occurs in very powerful people.

4. Don't know that you know (strong, humble)

Until the end, because of my humble attitude, I learned a lot, and of course my self-confidence began to grow.

But at this stage, he has changed from arrogance to modesty and self-confidence, willing to communicate and discuss with others, regardless of class.

In many of the presentations I've given to entrepreneurs and successful managers, many have this trait.

For example, Hon Hai MIH CEO Zheng Xiancong, CTPS professor, and former Far EasTone Chief Financial Officer Li Shengmin can all feel their powerful wisdom and humble attitude.

I also keep a very open attitude when communicating with young people. I have always regarded them as my role model since I had the opportunity to communicate with them.

【Being confident and humble is the best learning attitude】

I think there are a few ways to keep yourself in the enlightened stage:

1. Open Mind, Lifelong Learning

I highly recommend everyone to read the book "Attitude Wins". It talks about how to keep an open mind. This fosters an attitude of lifelong learning, knowing that we are never enough, and learning from more people.

2. Often throw yourself into the environment of many strong people

Throw yourself into an environment where there are many strong people, especially those who are strong and humble at the same time. The attitude they exude can make people want to learn.

Whenever you start to get used to the current environment, or feel that you are very powerful, you need to check whether you are overconfident. If this is the case, you should take yourself to a higher level and see more powerful people, so you won't be too proud haha.

Growth stalls if you stay in your comfort zone or your strongest environment.

3. Get along and communicate with a variety of different types of people

When it comes to getting along with others, the closer the person is to you, the more likely they are to be your mirror. If you communicate with these people more, you will be able to see more of yourself from them and from their mouths, so as to check whether your attitude is correct.

In addition, when you get along with different types of people, you can also recognize the upper limit of more different fields, so you will not be too limited to your own small circle.

【in conclusion】

I don't know what stage you are in now. I myself have been through periods of self-confidence and am now working towards enlightenment, being humble and learning outwardly.

Find a role model that you think has this trait, and keep aligning with him may be a good choice!

Attached are two links discussing the Dunning-Kruger effect:

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

2. The truth about the DK effect: https://jerz.setonhill.edu/blog/2020/04/07/dunning-kruger/

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